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March 2013

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Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

#20531724
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (3930)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (2381)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3277)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (8315)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (2007)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30640) - you deserved it (8199)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (2609)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML

#20565847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (2308)

On 03/29/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by Appelflap (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)



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