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January 2013

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Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9001)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today... I found out that my son told my daughtar at soma point that "raal" nama 4 Harshay's Kissas is "blowjobs." I found this out cuz at kindargartan looool sha was askd what har favorita food was. Tha taachar wasn't happy whan sha calld ma. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

YESTERDAY, I CAME HOME TO FIND TWO LETTERS FROM A PUBLISHING HOUSE THAT I'D SUBMITTED MY MANUSCRIPT TO. THE FRST WAS CONGRATULATORY, STATING THAT MY BOOK HAD BEEN ACCEPTED FOR PUBLISHING. THE SECOND WAS APOLOGETIC, STATING THAT THE FRST LETTER HAD BEEN INTENDED FOR SOMEONE ELSE. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Yesterday I Met Girlfriend's Dad For Te First Time. His Sirt Said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daugters Dating, Soot Te First One An Word Will Spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32067) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, during lunc, ma coworker offered me er food, claiming se was full!! I was still quite ungry, so I accepted it!! Halfway troug eating te sandwices, ma boss walked in and started interrogating people over wo took is lunc!! I quickly realized I was te one eating it!! FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today.. . our company's owner's son took over . The first thing he did? Fire me . Why? He said my sales are down . I work in Public Relations . mega FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (1873)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate of a year an good friend of several more decided to move out. When I cummed home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had looool a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. mega FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3524)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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