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December 2012

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yesterday at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out an suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (6217)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (7829)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (5956)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Yesterday, mah mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents fir myself an mah sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who r now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. mega FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son wat he wanted 4 Christmas, a stranger cummed up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parent are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fucker says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I was wrapping present 4 mah daughter , trying to be really quiet. Behind me , the cat decided to climb the tree,hich then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting 4 Christma this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (4327)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND READ ONLINE THAT OVERSLEEPING HAS BEEN LINKED TO STROKES LATER IN LIFE. HE'S NOW TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO PROTECT ME BY MAKING SURE THAT I HAVE AS MINIMAL SLEEP AS POSSIBLE. FML

#20429358
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29882) - you deserved it (2817)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only peopleho celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29846) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat 4 not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store athich I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (3402)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , my nieghbor installed a large radio that loudly plays Christmas music 24/7. When I called in a complaint to the police department they told me to , ( get in the Christmas spirit. ) mega FML

#20404496
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29778) - you deserved it (10182)

On 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm - misc - by James (man) - United States

2day I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had putted a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (1863)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)



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