Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (1085)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by NoorFML - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16921) - you deserved it (1068)
On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16884) - you deserved it (968)
On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (1331)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (1014)
On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)
Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (5583)
On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16725) - you deserved it (797)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (1362)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (1745)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States
Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16640) - you deserved it (1196)
On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16639) - you deserved it (2251)
On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16594) - you deserved it (1754)
On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16593) - you deserved it (2075)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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