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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (2770)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (1496)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (7377)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22755) - you deserved it (1532)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (4700)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (1516)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (1652)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML

#20096505
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:35am - health - by screw life (woman) - United States



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