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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
121 comments

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (1467)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

#20106327
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (1982)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (1855)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (1765)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (5845)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22229) - you deserved it (1702)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (1497)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2626)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (3230)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22084) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)



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