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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (3148)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (1919)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (4098)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (1619)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1639)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (2826)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21067) - you deserved it (1352)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (1964)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21031) - you deserved it (3806)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (8042)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20975) - you deserved it (1373)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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