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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (1534)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (2055)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (2203)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (1920)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2086)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25489) - you deserved it (2703)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (2698)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (5263)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (2368)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1964)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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