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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26714) - you deserved it (1737)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (3972)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (1103)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (2259)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (1381)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (1381)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (2106)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21436) - you deserved it (2029)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

#21521749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (1927)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:54am - kids - by notsoproudfather - India (Maharashtra)

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1065)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

#21521929
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (1337)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:23pm - love - by itsjustemcee - United States



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