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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (1441)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (1912)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (4688)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

#18979126 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (3447)

On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

#18976256 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (781)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by kingpig (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (1768)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (10763) - you deserved it (1062)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (634)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (858)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (9363) - you deserved it (779)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (9375) - you deserved it (1119)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (9325) - you deserved it (1072)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)