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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47936) - you deserved it (3896)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44199) - you deserved it (2957)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43017) - you deserved it (3639)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42187) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41869) - you deserved it (2939)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41109) - you deserved it (8630)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39842) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39605) - you deserved it (3236)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39508) - you deserved it (4940)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)



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Friday 24 October 2014

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