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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
104 comments

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you deserved it (3141)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (5328)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (3354)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (1956)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (3932)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (2547)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

#21404242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (1923)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by double trouble -

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2126)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (2442)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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