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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42026) - you deserved it (8449)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (10553)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40482) - you deserved it (2726)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (2224)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (2168)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

#21310030
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/02/2014 at 10:42am - love - by braceforcarnage (man) - United States

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (3582)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35668) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (4081)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (5820)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML



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