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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46107) - you deserved it (3820)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (3615)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (2491)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41306) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (5044)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (8368)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (3827)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (2467)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (5521)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37746) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37655) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus



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Friday 17 October 2014

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