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Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

#17871769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/30/2011 at 3:45pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (3054)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44761) - you deserved it (3054)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39155) - you deserved it (3054)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33908) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44832) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (3052)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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