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Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

#19397932
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (3313)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (3313)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (3313)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56957) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

#17246888
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35963) - you deserved it (3312)

On 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm - love - by ugly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53158) - you deserved it (3312)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (3311)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

#18084228
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/26/2011 at 9:38pm - love - by nekogirl15 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my school, we had the opening night of our production in which I act. None of my family or friends came. Basically, after 3 long months of hard work, the only person to "congratulate" to me after the show was the head of the theater department, who just wanted to tell me I was doing it wrong. FML

#6594222
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22629) - you deserved it (3310)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by drama_queen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30726) - you deserved it (3310)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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