Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46662) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML

#5815085
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24411) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (3486)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML

#19991026
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (3486)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML

#20474927
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (3486)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (3486)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (3485)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (3485)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (3485)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70428) - you deserved it (3485)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: