Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

#8433331
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25881) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (3147)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

#15632793
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:15am - love - by lonely (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML

#18610596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49897) - you deserved it (3147)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46975) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

#16757277
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (3146)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: