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Saturday 7 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37972) - you deserved it (4516) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (6293)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (2836)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46196) - you deserved it (2738)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML

#20869873
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40878) - you deserved it (2431)

On 09/06/2013 at 3:01am - work - by lifesucks0925 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49298) - you deserved it (5356)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44115) - you deserved it (3426)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46586) - you deserved it (4620)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44354) - you deserved it (7251)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39964) - you deserved it (3318)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (6135)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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