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Wednesday 13 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (15086)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12075) - you deserved it (37726)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (8046)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (2311)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (4166)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (6906)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11266) - you deserved it (41429)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to yet again explain to the guy I live with that just because you can't see dirt, it doesn't mean it's clean. And so letting his dog lick the plates is NOT the same thing as washing up. He won't listen to me, and he uses my plates. FML

#20507079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30149) - you deserved it (3145)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30521) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give some change to a homeless man. My girlfriend pulled me away and ranted about how homeless people are all basically bastards who deserve their misfortune, and that I shouldn't give "our" money away. FML

#20506599
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (5667)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:06pm - money - by dating a fucking psycho (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33866) - you deserved it (3311)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)



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