Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (841) - you deserved it (8584)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (6729)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend likes to do my hair and makeup for me. Far from it being some kind of fetish or hobby, it's because he thinks I do such a crappy job that feels he has to apply it himself so I don't "embarrass" him when we're out in public together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24945) - you deserved it (8177)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (1636)
On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (35388)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (27215)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2573)
On 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by esbemebe1113 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3029)
Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1874)
On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (2196)
On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (5590)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29240) - you deserved it (1376)
On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (5217)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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