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March 2013

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Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (5430)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37854) - you deserved it (19409)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (3251)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11001) - you deserved it (37259)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33851) - you deserved it (8799)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52012) - you deserved it (6693)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49047) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (16951)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (3190)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13374) - you deserved it (32734)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (15970)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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