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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43791) - you deserved it (5057)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49490) - you deserved it (4039)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (69818)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (8122)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (3398)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

#20559802
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30707) - you deserved it (2312)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (20113)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (2807)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (8036)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (37478)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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