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March 2013

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Today A Cute Guy Who Works At The Mall Winked At Me. When I Met Up With Mah Boyfriend I Bragged To Him About It. His Response Was ( Don't Flatter Yourself He Winked At Me Too. ) FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31750) - you deserved it (16013)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, MA USBAND WOKE UP, ROLLD OVER, AND SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BEAUTIFUL." HE ASN'T CALLD ME TAT IN MONTS, BUT AS I WAS ABOUT TO REPLY, I REALIZD E WAS TALKING TO IS PET TURTLE, NOT ME. MEGA FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend Still Won't Talk To Me, After I Caused Him The "worst Embarrassment" Of His Life In Front Of His Friends. What Did I Do Wrong? I Joined Their Conversation And Ended Up Confusing The Fictional Characters Of Gollum And Yoda With One Another. FML

#20545430
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (57904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I Texted My Boyfriend A Cute Picture That I Drew 4 Him, With A Little Note Saying "love You." He Replied By Sending Me A Picture Of A Nose Hair He'd Plucked, Along With The Caption, "longest One Yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

TODAY I FOUND OUT MAH GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S ( JOKER ) VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, whila I was going down on my husband, our 3-yaar-old daughtar woka up an startad crying from tha othar room!! Ha practically burst into taars too, whining that sha was doing it on purposa to ruin his fun!! Ha was sarious!! FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5668)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today... my teacher read my story about a hauntd house for a class assignment. She likd it very much and turnd it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later... I was calld to the office where the guidance counselor calld my work "disturbing" and said I "ned help". FML

#20535562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today... mah nieghbours came to yell at me as they could hear mah "shit music" through mah window during the afternoon... so I turned it off. They then began to play there definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. real FML

#20567871
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4854)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today , I was being interviewd for an amazing job when I was askd wat animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt , I pickd the first thing that cummd to me. I respondd with , ( I'd be a turtle cuz I'm really slow sometimes. ) FML

#20531284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (17056)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend an I were on my bed when things started getting hot an it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to ( the frogs in the wall ). FML

#20537793
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (37175)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today , tinking my girlfriend ad left er little black tong in te dryer to tease me , I sent er a picture of me seductively posing wit it. Se didn't text back , but a few ours later my 16 year old daugter askd if se'd left anyting in te dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (48924)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , a blonde tourist cummd up to me and askd me 4 drections to the nearest train station. I politely drectd her there , and she left. Five minutes later , she cummd back and slappd me 4 not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China , lady. FML

#20567861
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39133) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

TODAY, I WENT TO A PAINTBALL MATCH WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, ONE OF WHOM BROUGHT HIS DAD ALONG. HIS DAD IS A WIEGHT-LIFTING, WANNABE ALPHA MALE FUCKNUT WHO THINKS THAT CHOKESLAMMING OPPONENTS IS A LEGITIMATE CLOSE-QUARTERS PAINTBALL TACTIC. MY BROKEN SHOULDER DISAGREES. FML

#20528184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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