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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

#20463998
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14184) - you deserved it (18575)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (2058)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (4135)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17228) - you deserved it (874)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (3903)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (478)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (5801)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)



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