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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (2070)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (7188)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

#20405554
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33448) - you deserved it (5505)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (1165)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31175) - you deserved it (16784)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (15442)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

#20187584
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (8194)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (1580)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25505) - you deserved it (1441)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (1120)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (8504)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (3126)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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