Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13710) - you deserved it (1118)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (1754)
On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (1386)
On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16278) - you deserved it (2172)
On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16159) - you deserved it (1555)
On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4328) - you deserved it (29213)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (3265)
On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (10277)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16447) - you deserved it (900)
On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (2331)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18138) - you deserved it (1881)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (3321)
On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (1980)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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