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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32309) - you deserved it (1726)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9062) - you deserved it (25659)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML

#20142410
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (10309)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23644) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (2028)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (2070)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (42270)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (2539)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (1544)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26461) - you deserved it (3082)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (2246)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11128) - you deserved it (40998)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)



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