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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1402)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39411) - you deserved it (5672)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (3133)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (2475)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML

#20145432
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (2411)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (11795)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

#20148363
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19644) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by poro123 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

#20149952
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (3174)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:42am - love - by cowgirl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6480) - you deserved it (24397)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany



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