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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (8002)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (3034)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (2085)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (1558)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (3969)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17268) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16660) - you deserved it (2077)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10676) - you deserved it (42677)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (2046)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (1593)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)



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