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May 2012

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Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (3106)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

#19579357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8327) - you deserved it (26573)

On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

#19697872
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14247) - you deserved it (6519) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/29/2012 at 6:19am - work - by Anonyme (woman) -

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (1237)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (37219)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14785) - you deserved it (2019)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (4083)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7766) - you deserved it (116491)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (4923)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (5683)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (4061)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14394) - you deserved it (1452)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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