Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15349) - you deserved it (5417)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (4923)
On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11601) - you deserved it (21909)
On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I watched "The Vow" with my girlfriend. When the movie ended, we walked out to the theatre's lobby, and I heard her mutter, "I deserve a guy like him." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24112) - you deserved it (8504)
On 02/10/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2261)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (4579)
On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (1434)
Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (16493)
On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (2103)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14854) - you deserved it (1763)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I started speaking gibberish in the middle of the conversation with my mom to see if she would notice. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18286) - you deserved it (1885)
On 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (2449)
On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28048) - you deserved it (1720)
On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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