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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29259) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17659) - you deserved it (29544)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9526) - you deserved it (35467)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (1804)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (1845)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (2409)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML

#20519336
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (6347)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML

#20518428
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11290) - you deserved it (29793)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (2872)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (1543)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
155 comments


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