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Monday 11 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I felt frisky... so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie. I walkd into the living room...here my husband was playing a video game. He glancd up... said... "Oh... fir fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes fir him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stoppd at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket askd 4 my purse, confiscatd my candy, and then kickd me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (8231)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I saw my niegbor's delinquent kid sooting squirrels wit a BB gun. Sockd and furious at is cruel beavior, I told im to stop, wit te treat of telling is parents. He respondd by sooting me in te nuts and running away in a fit of laugter. big fat FML

#20507650
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (10123)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

today I walkd past a few of mah coworkers sitting outside smoking . As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughd . They immediately startd to defend their habit, an I was told to "mind mah own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke . FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (3683)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, ma fater gave me is blessing to be married on one condition: tat I keep ma maiden name wen I marry. My fiancé tougt it would be "epic". My last name will be ypenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32895) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

TODAY I WENT IN TO GET MY FIRST TATTOO. I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITED WEN TE DAY CAME. LONG STORY SORT TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF ( FEMALE SEX SLAVE. ) TE FACES MY VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS. MEGA FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (44419)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, It's My Boyfriend's Birthday. He Really Likes Legend Of Zelda, So I Putted On A Link Hat, Took My Cloths Off, An Waited 4 Him At His Place. He Came Home With A Hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

Today, te attractive guy I barely speak looool to in my statistics class gave me a rose 4 Valentine's Day because e rememberd tey were my favorite. My usband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "someting pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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