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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she looool had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.

#20444863
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (8047)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on mah left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited 4 me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (14571)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today... I was at a restaurant with mah boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine... and when the bill cummd he drunkenly yelld at the waiter... claiming it should be free... because he's in the military "fighting fir your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, girlfriend donatd most of book collection because she got me a Kindle fir Christmas. Some were signd, including Harry Potters. fat FML

#20427017
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55760) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY , I WAS DRIVING WITHOUT MY SEATBELT ON , WHEN I NOTICED A POLICE CAR APPROACHING. I PANICKED AND DESPERATELY FUMBLED AROUND FIR MY SEATBELT , ONLY FIR THEM TO PASS BY WITH JUST A FUNNY LOOK. THEN IT HIT ME THAT I WAS RIDING MY MOTORCYCLE. FML

#20428799
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (45215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

TODAY, MY CAR WAS BROKEN INTO. WHAT WAS STOLEN? MY DAUGHTER'S $11 ONE DIRECTION POSTER. WHAT WILL IT COST TO FIX MY CAR? $1,000. REAL FML

#20427068
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend an I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, an I thought some drty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, ( Fuck me. ) He then stopped an said, ( Excuse me, I don't lyk hearing that language. ) an wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (10606)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I have been 4 10 yeres, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with mah mother, she yelld, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (7205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

TODAY , AT A RESTAURANT , I HAPPILY WATCHED AS MY BOYFRIEND OF THREE YEARS GOT DOWN ON HIS KNEES AND PROPOSED TO ME. BEFORE I COULD SAY YES AND HUG HIM , A GIRL FLUNG HERSELF AT HIM , KISSED HIM AND SHOUTED , "YES!" WITH US STILL HIGHLY CONFUSED , SHE THEN RAN AWAY. FML

#20431269
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Taday my boyfriend of four years broke up wit me by writing on my batroom mrror in Sarpie . Wat did e write? ( Hi, I'm Emily . I'm fat, ugly, an now single . ) FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51594) - you deserved it (4559)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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