Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML
TODAY, ONE OF THE GIRLSHO HAS MADE IT HER JOB TO RUIN MAH LIFE CORNERD ME IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL . SHE TRID TO INSULT ME, AN 4 THE FIRST TIME IN MAH LIFE I HAD A SCATHING COMEBACK . MY ELATION QUICKLY ENDEDHEN SHE VIOLENTLY SHOVD MAH FACE INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN . FML
Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.
Today, mah very cheap boyfriend of four yeres proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later looool overwhelmed with emotion when mah finger turned green.
Today... the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloadd a picture of a huge... hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone... as every time I try... the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son wat he wanted 4 Christmas, a stranger cummed up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parent are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fucker says." FML
Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML
Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down fir a chat over her recent cursing!! When my husband askedhere she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replid, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accusd me of cheating, and hasn't been home since!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015