Wednesday 16 May 2012 
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Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (2172)
On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (2342)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (4933)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (23135)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13526) - you deserved it (2758)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6545) - you deserved it (4825)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Estonia (Harjumaa)
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (3351)
On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21543) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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