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Thursday 31 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32519) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31344) - you deserved it (5143)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (4026)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34621) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10779) - you deserved it (33402)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (4653)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (37465)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (2023)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

#20487790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (2237)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML

#20487736
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (2040)

On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)



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