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Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
You add the 'who died six years ago' as if that changes how much it sucks to lose someone. Sometimes my friends' facebook statuses say something about their grandmas/grandpas/other close family dying, and I get really upset thinking about my grandma that died in a car accident 2 years ago. And anytime anyone tries to talk about a car accident they were in, I get upset as well. Some people are sensitive and it's possible that your boyfriend was really close to his grandma, or that he bottled up his emotions after her death and has a hard time dealing with them now. It sucks that you didn't exactly get the comfort you wanted, but at least you have someone who can relate to you and help you.
When my boyfriend and I met, we got to talking about the car accident I was in (the one my grandma died in) within the first week of dating - it was only 7 months after it happened and I started getting kind of upset talking about it. My not-yet-boyfriend then told me that he had lost his grandpa earlier in that year - it helped me to know know that I now knew someone who had been through what I had been through in some sense. Try to be understanding and arrange a day for your boyfriend and yourself to get together and talk about memories and such - I'm sure it will be helpful for both of you.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I suggest finding a grief group - they're really helpful sometimes.
so? I know somebody who's grandma died when they were 4 (they're 22 now) and they are still sad sometimes. So its ok for you to cry but not for him? And let me guess: you weren't sad anymore?
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.
Friday 17 October 2014