Comments
Sorry for posting at the top, but in my opinion this FML is bullshit and I bet the OP is just trying to get a response out of us. If not then yeah YDI, please don't procreate.
procreate? i'm hoping she does us all a favor and drinks that bottle of windex.
OP - here's a hint, kissing edward cullen would feel like nothing because HE'S NOT REAL.
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hiii sorry, that sucks :( but i totally understand haha im a huuuuuge twighlight fan but you never saw a christmas story? aren't you scared you might get stuck or something?
This is not as much about Twilight as it is about the freaking dillusional woman kissing and licking her window to feel what it would be like to kiss a fictional character.
Seriously though, those movies are for pathetic lonely milfs and their daughters to masterbate to.
You know a 40-something year old woman asked Taylor Lautner (in front of her daughter) to sign her underwear if she could get them of somehow because she was wearing Team Taylor underwear? Fucking pedophiles, leave the poor kid alone.
#134 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:06pm by Mirequetz
how the HELL is kissing a window like kissing someone? You are fucking retarded and I hope you get aids from your window.
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Guys, stop hating on Twilight. Call people immature for liking it, but I'll call you immature for freaking out in hatred. Can't you just leave the fans alone? Just because we like something different than the all-righteous you… does not mean you can't respect it.
youre a huuuuge twilight fan but you cant spell twilight?
#149 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:41pm by mylifeisfuckedd
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I second that.. real pathetic.
did yer window have lips? otherwise it wouldntbe like kissin edward...more like idk...kissing a cold window.
Nah, nah, you went about it all wrong. What you WANT to do is break the window and shove the pieces of frozen glass in your pussy to know what fucking him would be like.
I hate how Twitards are giving all teenage girls a bad name. I'm a teenage girl and I strongly dislike Twilight.
This chick is a fucking loser. I like Twilight, I really do, I got into it a few months before the massive hype started to hit, and while I still enjoy it, people like this really take the fun of it away. It's a fictional story with fictional characters based on a dream. Believe it or not OP, it is possible to be a fan of something and enjoy something without turning into a creepy bitch. "OMG, Edward is sooooooo dreamy, oh and he's cold and his skin is hard, so a cold piece of glass will feel the same as his lips!!!" You're an embarrassment to mankind, and I can't remember what person said this, but to the person who said don't procreate, I sincerely concur. You children won't have much of a chance of contributing to society in any other ways than making good gossip for being arrested for stalking the tween-crush of their time. And a quick copy and paste of comment #188: "Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference."
That is all.

Also, unlike a lot of other Twilight fans, I am more than happy to make fun of the series. My boyfriend and I often exchange links and stories mocking the series for a bit of a laugh, he finds the entire series ridiculous, and this link really does make the series pretty laughable.
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
#56 has the right idea lol.
And this is really pathetic, how hard is it to understand that these Twilight characters are works of fiction.
Poor kid? He knew exactly what he was getting into.
Kissing a window is further off base than just liking something stupid, kid.
It is probably a good sign of some serious mental problems.
It's not "different" if almost every teenage girl now adays is obsessed with it. And no, I can't respect sparkling vampires.
QFT!
Also, OP is the kind of person that makes us fans look even worse. Stupid bitch.
ok im a big twilight fan, but seriously? wtf?! no wonder people keep bashing on it its because of wierdo fans like you :P
#181 = Winner
Hands down.
I'm the the *biggest* Twilight fan, but I do like it. There is a different between "hating" on a "fan" and hating on a... well... a weirdo. Seriously... kissing a cold window to imagine kissing a fictional character? That is just stupid. Fan or not.
LOL, if it was only "liking" the book or movie........
Don't make this about teenage girls.
Some of us think the Harry Potter and Twilight shit is stupid.
But I don't think anyone else here tried kissing a window... In order to experience what it'd be like to kiss a dead guy WHO'S NOT EVEN REAL.
That is all.
Ha, window aids. These are the kind of things you don't post on the internet.
Finally someone in there right mind! First of all edward Cullen is not hot in any way shape or form the only reason everyone is freaking out is because most teenage girls are to edging stupid to actually use their own opinion and just listen to everyone else is saying.. Not all teenage girls are stupid some of us have a head on our sholders and can think for our selves so my god please can we act like it
u shouldn't hate all teenage girls. just the crazy ones that kiss windows. the rest of us r pretty normal =]
some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.
Mabe we can convince her its something Edward would do and she'd let us beat her to death.
I'm fairly sure it is something he'd let happen to her, at the least.
Twilight fans are certainly not the smartest creatures on earth...
#3 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:47am by d101
Hey, at least she can spell and use basic grammar - which is more than I can say for most die-hard Twilight fans.
I couldnt agree more...I wish I could hit YDI 1,000 times. If Stephenie Meyers plan was to brain wash all these teenage girls, she suceeded. I would say I hope world domination isnt next on her list but I dont think the cult members following twilight have the cranial compentancy to accomplish such a feat.
I do...
thats a warning.
take cover. you are no longer safe.
"Why is Edward Cullen so pale? Because there's no sunlight in the closet."
you have made my day. thank you very much
You people need to "dissapear"
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Hey dont be mean to OP because she's a twilight fan (twilight is okay but the fans take it too far to where other people dont like it anymore)
This is the internet, sweetie. We can be as mean as we want to. You can't do a damn thing about it. :)
and you people need to disappear.
:)
Damn, don't ya think there's a limit of being a fan of something?
When I see these, I always think that the human race could not be worse.... and sadly, I'm always proven wrong.
Prepare to lose more faith in humanity. One word: CULLENISM.
Google it.
I googled it.
I'm going to go throw myself off the highest cliff I can find now.
I googled it too... THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! how come we didnt see this happening before
Yup..googled it. I have officially lost all faith in humanity.
I googled it also. They ended something with Peace,Love,and Twilight!. This has provided me with more reason to stay Athiest.
#323, I think I love you.
I am so sick of all this Twilight crud. Get over yourselves people.
"to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like" … I stopped reading there. You deserve whatever bad things that happen to you
P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C F-A-I-L.
I'm really sorry but you deserve this...
:[
That's beyond pathetic.
You know those books are written for 12 year old girls who have cavernous emotional voids, right?
well, the O.P is probably 12 if she's dumb enough to kiss an iced over window. To see what it would be like to kiss a fictional vampire. I'll never understand teenage girls..
Please do not tar all teenage girls with this brush. I certainly was never like this and am pretty sure a lot of others weren't either. One girl =/= all teenage girls.
I'd say it's pretty fair to tar all with the same general mentality, it's all part of the developmental process, as much as some would like to protest and profess themselves as having been more 'mature'.
I disagree. Sure it's part of the developmental process but not all teenage girls are THIS BAD. I take offense. I've never kissed a frozen window, simply because I have an IQ higher than 20. (Clearly unlike the OP). =D
#111 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:59am by JessAngelus
You deserve it for three main reasons:
1. For liking Twilight to begin with (I think that it is the most stupid thing to hit the big screen since Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuch Norris)
2. For being so completely obsessed over a fictional vampire.
3. And for fantasizing over Edward Cullen - that is just wrong in so many ways.
I agree...YDI for trying to re-enact (don't know if that's how it's spelt) kissing a fictional character...
@ 10: It's not even a vampire. Those things have no fear of garlic or the cross and aren't harmed/killed by sunlight.. Of all things, they sparkle. You're being way too nice by calling them vampires. Parasites Is a more appropriate term.
#78 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:39am by aaaaa2p
That just made my day.
Twilight is the bane of modern pop culture. I've been a vampire fan since I was eight, and now all of these Twitards are ruining it. I'll just go and watch Buffy or Nosferatu and read the original vampire novel: Dracula.
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actually it is a vampire, its just not what the media has been calling vampires for the past however many years
and since they are FICTIONAL, stephanie meyer can give them whatever characteristics she wants to
#147 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:39pm by mylifeisfuckedd
vampire (noun)
—(folklore) a corpse that rises at night to drink the blood of the living
The term parasite is often applied to a person who takes advantage of other people and fails to offer anything in return.
Edward Cullen goes to school
Edward Cullen drinks no blood
Edward Cullen sleeps at night(With girls hundreds of years younger than him)
Edward Cullen ALMOST died, thus not being a corpse, but still a living being
Edward Cullen does not give anything to us in return for all his fans but an empty void that nobody will be perfect enough to fill, thus ruining their lives
So we can all conclude, that Edward Cullen, as defined by the dictionary, IS NOT a vampire, but is indeed, a parasite
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@179:
just for the record:
- Edward Cullen DOES drink blood (the family just tries to avoid drinking human blood, although they have in the past)
- Edward Cullen DOES NOT sleep at night, his human girlfriend does
- Edward Cullen did not almost die. He was almost "killed" in the same way a zombie or any other non-living creature can be "killed" and therefore no longer exist, even though they aren't technically alive in the first place.
there are plenty of things to make fun of Twilight for, at least get your facts straight when you're doing it
One definition does not a vampire make. That term is based on popular culture- cinema and reading and such.
Vampires are much more complicated than that, and started out very differently in ancient folklore. All of the traits contributed to vampirism are added or subtracted by /someone/- it doesn't make them less a vampire, just because they don't fit the Dracula stereotype.
However, yeah, calling the Cullens vampires is fairly insulting... gag@them.
okay, I know how it all started, there was a man named Count Vlad Dracoyla (a real man), also known as Vlad the Impaler. Cause he liked to stap things. Particularly humans. Dracoyla would stab and kill anybody who got on his nerves a little. His wife showered in the blood of his tortured prisoners, thinking it would restore her youth, which is what inspired an author to have "Dracula" drink blood to stay healthy, and the biting part was pretty much out of his imagination. However, Dracoyla was put in prison by his people, and even in prison he would stab bugs with small twigs he could find around his cell. Whenever there was a war, they would release him and let him lead the battle. It was recorded that he would break a branch off a tree and impale his victims on the small stump he left. I think he was also the person who started putting heads on pikes, I'm not sure, I just know he had a lot. Enough that the only friend he had suggested that he took some of the heads around his castle down. Dracoyla didn't like that, so he cut his friend's head off and put it on a really tall pike, "so his head would be above the smell". When Dracoyla died, they buried him in a coffin, and when later archeologists opened up his grave, it was empty, thus the raising from the dead part. The author I mentioned, don't remember who, and I don't want to look it up, visited the country Dracoyla lived in, and was inspired to write the book "Dracula". Count Vlad Dracoyla was the first vampire, and thus set the standards of vampires to be murderous, blood-sucking, undead creatures that would raise from the dead. "Pop-culture" didn't define it, history defined it, and my previous comment did a pretty good job at defining it.
Besides, my comment was a joke, I haven't seen the movie or read the books, I just based it off what I have heard and read about it.
And for common sense's sake, being "almost killed" is absolutely no different than "almost dying", and yeah, undead things can die, but from what I have seen of the movie (didn't watch the whole thing, I started though) Edward Cullen DID NOT die, he was turned into a vampire so he WOULDN'T DIE, correct me if I'm wrong though, but I don't care either way, my point is he was never dead, so he couldn't have been UNdead, because to be made undead, you had to die in the first place, which never happened to Edward.

YDI for ruining modern culture.
This is so fake, if you kissed your "iced-over window", the ice and your lips would stick, which according to your FML didn't happen, so FAKE!
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agreed...especially since there hasn't been any ICE yet this year?!
#13. Your lips don't stick to glass. Metal, yes. Glass, no.
#63. Yes, because everyone lives where you live. There's certainly been plenty of ice where I'm from.
#89 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:01am by Envy
@ 13: No, her lips would not stick to an iced over window. The ice would melt too fast from the heat of her mouth to do any damage.
@ 63: I don't know where you live, (if you live in Iowa like the OP, then my point is moot, and I apologize) but there have been plenty of cold mornings here where there has been frost on the grass and windows.
I'm not really defending this FML though. This really is kind of pathetic. Why would you want to waste your time pretending to kiss a (made up) borderline abusive stalker?
I live in Iowa, I have ice on my windows some mornings, although I do not kiss and lick them.
#159 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:09pm by jane99
I wish I had some icy windows to lick and suck. Not that I need to kiss any imaginary person, but I just like giving the neighbors a fun show :]
Kiss a baboons ass...it should be the same as Edward's. YDI for overfantasizing over a fictional character. I was hoping Edward would die in the first two minutes of New Moon. Why can't all good things happen in this world!?!
You're doing it wrong, the window has to be SPARKLY! SPARKLY!!!!!
Ahahaha, thanks for the laugh. (:
Oh dear. Get a life before saying it's f**ked. Thank you.
I agree, you deserved it. Seriously, why kiss a window? This proves you have the smallest ratio of getting a boyfriend. I'm glad your not at my school.
I normally wouldn't say this to someone I've never met on the internet, but you are an idiot. Beyond any comprehensible proportions.
What's next, sprinkling your boyfriend with glue?
LOL!!!! OMG!!!! and I thought kissing posters of pop stars was pathetic!!
it is. now go fantasize about your pedophilestic abusive stalker
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Whoaa, women are so weak :P Hollywood can make you do tricks! XD
By glue i meant glitter. Hey, at least i wasn't kissing a frosted window!
You use glue, then glitter. Then you sacrifice him to the Cullenist cult in hopes that he will be resurrected as a "vampussy."
You might be interested in this http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP
IT SPARKLES!
On a different note: *facepalm*
...if nothing else the comments on that page are hysterical! XD
that link...I'm scared now.
YDI. And I have one question... Did you put glitter on that window too so you could pretend it was Edward's sparkly nutsack? Dumb ass girls... Twilight fans that are this stupid should not be allowed to have children...
YDI for liking Twilight, YDI for kissing an iced-over window, YDI for being a complete retard and trying to cover up your idiocy.
Can anyone say FAIL?
So hugging snowmans will be a whole different adventure for you. You can make an Edward angel!
Popsicles. Whoa.
Damnit you just ruined ice-cream for me.
Nooooo! Dammit, I'll never eat a popsicle again because of you! X(
"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML" There, I fixed it.
Jesus effing H. YDI. YDI a f**king thousand times.
oh dear....
why would kissing a window even me a good substitute for a fictional character? he has cold lips (presumably) but why not kiss an ice cube or a freezer or any other cold object? im pretty sure his lips arent supposed to be flat and slippery and so a piece of glass really doesnt seem like your best option
Wow, you are one fucking stupid twitard. How about next you have sex with a banana you stuck in the freezer?
In defense of Twilight: Despite being a 25yo/m and not a little girl, I actually really like the books. The movies, though stupid, are pretty damn hilarious too.
In defense of you... I got nothing. Seek help.
Thank you. I like the books. But I would never do anything like this. This girl is STUPID. YDI, OP. Not all Twilight fans are stupid, little, rabid girls... lol
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For the good of humanity, I am going to have to kill you.
You are an idiot. YDI
#47 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:18am by solocredere12
That is just plain retarded. Next time find a stiff then you can use the excuse it is a dead family member. ydi
Wait, wait... I didn't know Edward was made of glass. I guess that would explain the sparkles.
So I take it you're on the necrophilia end of the necrophilia/bestiality Twilight character attraction scale.
That's so sad and pathetic... when I was reading it I was thinking "please let her lips actually stick to the window"
Fangirl alert, run like HELL.
I just feel really bad for Rob Pattinson. Imagine how he must feel - having freaky fans like that O.O
And to OP: You can be glad that your neighbor didn't call a shrink, declare you a mental patient, lock you up and put you in a straight jacket.
You do realise that guys who sparkle aren't generally into girls right?
yeah but what if you were born pink? would that make you gay?
This is getting a little out of hand. Edward Cullen is not real. Whatever you think of him just remember a woman wrote the script. I mean I like twilight but I'm not going to let going to let a fake guy run my life you wierdo.
#60 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:56am by snowstorm
Considering I'm up in Canada and we haven't really had any frost or anything I really doubt you've had any....therefore fake FML! Which makes you look even more desperate. YDI
they are in america... in Iowa...
I'm also in Canada, and we have.
#91 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:04am by Envy
I'm also in Canada, and we have.
P.S. It definitely snowed in New Mexico a few weeks ago.
EDIT: Sorry for the double comment. My original wasn't showing up.
#92 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:06am by Envy
I live in Iowa, and there is frost on my windows some mornings, although I don't kiss and lick them.
#161 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:17pm by jane99
What the fuck, man.
I like how your screen name is very fitting. It saddens me that people like you are how others see our generation. Although, I'm HOPING that you're at least a few years younger than me...
Please don't reproduce. Although, I'm fairly certain that your chances of ever getting a boyfriend are rather slim at this point. Unless you find a guy that's into that shit. Then you should keep him, because nobody else wants him.
Oh, and just in case you haven't figured it out by now, EDWARD CULLEN IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.
hahahahahahahahaha! how lame can you be
You deserve it for being a Twilight freak.
YDI for being a pathetic twilight fanatic and taking the obsessness to a whole new level.
You are the reason I hate twilight.
Please die.
the first line is an fml alone.
Thanks for the laugh.
You're a triple panda, go eat a triple bamboo, what's the problem.
You lie. Ice cream can't be ruined for anyone, you should know better. (:
Your probably one if those people that has the freezeable dildo too.
Ashley greene is pretty hot though... the only reason I would see that movie
Wow. All I can say is wow/
#81 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:43am by alwaysalady
I don't know if you've noticed, sweetheart, but Edward Cullen isn't real. Let's not even get into whether or not he's a proper vampire thingie... he's a straight up fictional character. Kissing a window is just going to show you what kissing a window is like. Why not actually go... date a real dude? You might get lucky and find one that treats you like a real person as opposed to that shitty emotionally abusive stalking thing Edward does in the book.
Why are vampires all after underaged girls? I guess when you're immortal you don't HAVE to worry about statutory rape laws.
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LOLZ....maybe instead of Windex, your neighbour shouldve bought you Edward Cullen ..!
No.
#85 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:53am by haj
This comment is nearly as big of an epic fail as the original post. Just don't talk anymore. At the OP, your life is really FUCKED up and you should probably grow up and stop fantasizing over a retarded fictional character. And even if you do, do not post it on the Internet, because we will make fun of you.
Blast, we're gonna be hearing mindless pap about Twilight for the rest of the year, huh....
Perhaps your neighbor could buy you a life. That's what it sounds like you really need.
Wow, OP, you fail at just about everything. That's pretty much pathetic.
YDI after only that first line.
Wow I can only imagine what she'll try next to feel how it'd be to have sex with Edward .
If this does not warrant a facepalm........
ou fail so epically it's almost a win
i think u r stupid.....go to a mental hospital, at least they MIGHT be able to help u!
Today, I took a popsicle and stuck it in my poop chute to find out what it would be like if Edward Cullen went to town in my brown. WIN. I'll choose a chocolate popsicle next time to know what it's like with the black vampire.
One would assume such a huuuuuge fan would at the very least know how to spell it.
#102 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:32am by Lawlipop
everybody take a pill and relax. Twilight made a crap load of money in its first weekend so obviously there a lot of people going to see the movie. I have neither read the books or seen the movie and I am not even interested in seeing the movie, I'm too old for that kinda crap, but from the sounds of this post, OP is a child, and from what I have seen lately on FML, it seems that kids and tweens are mainly on here now.
Give her a break, I'm sure a lot of you were silly kids. And OP, how can tonguing a cold pane of glass be even remotely similar to kissing a dude!!!! Use an orange for craps sake!
#103 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:43am by patticake1601
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OP, I'm sure that more than half these people haven't read Twilight, so they clearly don't know what they're missing, haha. :) But that's kind of funny, I must admit. :]
#104 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:44am by iAndrea
as someone who has read the books and wasted my time to see the first movie. yes i do know what im talking about. the books sucked and the movie was worse.
the only reason I can think of that you would have even considered doing this is because you must be a fat lard who obssesses over stupid fake crap like this and expects everyone to live up to your standards because they need to b like Edward! get a life freak! YDI
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just kiss Robert pattinson and ull know exactly what it's like to kiss Edward Cullen.
You are absolutely pathetic. People like you give our entire generation a bad name and you make me almost embarassed to be a teenage girl because that would mean that I have to be classified in the same group as you. I hope you die because there is honestly no hope in your future. No guy in his right mind would ever want an obsessive freak like you, but then again, that's better for us because you will never reproduce. I hope you go and get help because you really are sick and delusional.
Agreed. OP, best to remove yourself from the gene pool now. Can't have little obsessive yous running around in the future. It would be a pandemic.
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pshnoway you are a fucking bitch. what right have you to judge her? you don't. especially considering you are so stuck up and vein, it's people like YOU who are ruining the human race and given the choice between the stuck up bitch that is you and th op, I would honestly choose her. I really hope you grow up before you reproduce. or at least have a horrible accident rendering you infertile.
I like how you criticized me for judging the OP by judging me, really that didn't make you look like a hypocrite at all. Also, I would never date someone who is willing to defend a twitard anyways because there is no excuse for their ridiculous behaviour or your pathetic comeback. I hope next time you attack somebody, you can make yourself look less dumb while doing it.
There's why I'm embarrassed to be a teenage girl in this generation. He's not real, he never will be, get over it, and stop obsessing.
I agree with #108. Get the hell out of the gene pool and read a REAL book instead of that anti-feminist series. Twilight is an insult to literature and "Edward Cullen" is really just a whinning pale kid
#113 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:08am by IchHasstKaterina
I'm sorry. Edward Cullen will not be your boyfriend. He doesn't exist.
And it bothers me how often I have had to say that in the last dew days.
damn twilight fangirls. just another reason to hate twilight.
I would really like to believe that this is a fake FML, generated purely for comic value, but something in my heart tells me that there really are Twilight fans out there who are so insanely obsessed that they would do silly, strange things like the scenario mentioned above. Hopefully for you, you will one day realize that Edward Cullen is NOT REAL. And if even if he was, haven't the books provided enough evidence that he is a terrible, abusive boyfriend? I guess the portion of American youth that is attracted to men will forgive abusive behavior if their man sparkles in the sun.
#116 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:13am by BlueberryPies
do u know they have vampire fleshlights? google that shit. I hate my country
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML
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I LUV twilight and all of u guys need to crawl in a hole a rot cuz Edward Cullen well Robert Pattinson is hot. Yah maybe that was really stupid but y'all need to shut up about stupid twilight fans cuz the friqqn books r amazing so don't hate!
Im sorry but i have to disagree, there is nothign about twilight that is good
And considering your spelling and grammar, you are too stupid to be taken seriously. I'd suggest reading Bram Stoker's Dracula to illustrate what a "REAL" vampire is (as in true to the archetype), but I doubt your IQ can handle it.
Also, the reason why Twilight fans are stupid is because the franchise is stupid. Have fun fantasizing about your abusive, sparkly, stalkerish undead lover.
119 -Is it really that difficult to type an entire word? Why do people insist on butchering the English language? Honestly, are you just lazy, or do you truly not know how to spell?
While I am not a Twilight fan myself, I can sort of see why some people (especially squealing teenage girls) are so interested in it. Well, actually, scratch that, I have no idea why so many people are interested in that tripe. To me, Twilight is a lame soap opera with "sparkling." And yes, I actually DID read the first book, so I'm not just saying this. Give me Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel any day! At least Spike was cool! Even Angel had his awesome moments, when he wasn't brooding too much.
The OP is a moron. Why would you kiss a window? Even if Edward whats-his-face was real, I would think that kissing him would NOT be like kissing glass.
For starters honey, learn basic spelling and grammar. You're not really inspiring us to put any stock in anything you say. Secondly, you're demonstrating the point a lot of people are actually making, not necessarily about the books specifically, but more about the fans of the books. I'm a fan of the books, but you and people like you make it very difficult to remain a fan.
hey leave her alone ...i dont agree with her about twilight but nobody cares about grammar in this generation (im from texas and we say "yall" all the time...its like required or something)
#130 Yes, BtVS was awesome. I love Joss Whedon. Ask anyone I know, Joss Whedon is my favourite writer/director/series creator. But again, I don't take my appreciation and my love of his work to creepy stalk-Joss-Whedon-and-go-make-out-with-inanimate-objects-to-what-it's-like-to-kiss-him levels.
#202 It's not the "y'all" we're jumping on her case for. Read every word other than "y'all" and you'll see our issue.
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I laughed pretty hard at this.
And yeah, we know he's not real. Just nice to imagine he is, that's all.
i only needed to read the first sentence before YDI'ing it.
"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like."
Surely that's where the FML ends?
Remember kids, every time you read Twilight, you are reading the sexual fantasy of a lonely, overweight, pathetic woman.
Wait, that sounds like most of the fangirls.
What is an "Edward Cullen"? is it a fancy type of window brand? :>
Stupid Twitard. At least go to a convention where it wouldn't look as ridiculous.
Please don't ever have kids.
Yes. Because I can see that this will be someone who will name their kids after twilight characters.
this is why I won't give twilight a chance. if I do, I might turn crazy. and I'm not just gonna like it because everybody else does, those people are stupid and need to get their own life. (tons of bad grammar, idc)
#141 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:25pm by besad
You're pathetic. Edward is a fictional character, and I hate women like you who think they need the perfect man. Guess what? There is no such thing, so get over it.
Window licker, I bet you ride the short bus to school.
I just read the first line. I then applied my palm to my face in anguish, that we as a species have actually come down to this level of stupidity.
Read the book. Enjoy it. Then live your life.
DO NOT Read the book, then pathetically try to pretend to be Bella.
i can only hope you die soon. like nowish if thats cool with you. just get a pogo stick and hang out on the freeway around 5 oclock with a blindfold.
I'll make this quick and simple..
YDI for wanting to kiss a fictional 'vampire' whose face lookss like my foot :D
Probably not a good idea to say any body part of yours looks like Cullen, fangirls will make your house their Mecca.
#314 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:15pm by The_Nothing
you were doing something stupid and embarassing and got free windex out of it. most people just get ridiculed.
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haha wow ydi
but i cants say much coz me and my friends put ice in our panties for a similair reason xD
@ #152: What are you 10 or something? But then again, who am I to judge. Whatever floats your boat I guess....
Wow, I think that's one of the creepiest things I ever heard. The thought that people would actually do that is going to haunt me.
Oh my fucking god, people are such retards.
Seriously.
Twilight is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard of/seen/read to begin with, it is so beyond fucking sad people would go to such lengths to be with a fucking 108 year old virgin.
And I'm sorry, but, he's not a vampire. He's just a fucking freak created by a lonely woman's sexual fantasies. ;)
YDI for liking twlight and pretending to kiss a fictional charecter
What in the world is wrong with you?!
I mean the books were good, but the movie was horrible. And lets face it Edward/Rob isn't even that great looking. YDI
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Edward Cullen is pretty amazing.. :)
I told myself yesterday that I would try to read a Twilight book to see if I was right to be hating something that I never read. OP, I will now NEVER read Twilight.
ydi for being a dumb bitch and being obssessed with a fake guy
Holy fucking shit! I'm still half expecting this to be a joke.
What Twilight does to people...
hahahahahahahahahahha. you're lucky you didn't get stuck to it.
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Ooo I would do that too(;
so what are you going to do next? kiss a hot iron to know what kissing Jacob Black is like? have fun in the emergency room.
Lols. Golden. Although, be careful what you type, some Team Jacob twi-hard might read that and get ideas.
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YDI for being team Edward.
I hoped some freaky twilight fans would learn from this dumbass,but no *team edward* all over the comment page,fucking reatards! GET A LIFE!
YDI for trying to know what it's like to kiss a fictional character.
Ha, your neighbor is pretty badass. Oh and YDI.
WOw..... i am a huge Twilight fan too but that wasnt the smartest thing to do lol
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1 - YDI for kissing a window. germs, much?
2 - YDI for not being Team Jacob.
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1 - YDI for kissing a window with thousands of germs in the first place.
2 - YDI for being a Twerd.
3 - YDI for not being team Jacob.
DUDE! This FML will only ever be acceptable if you are under 15 and mentally derranged.
Anyone who would do something like this is a pretty sad and pathetic person. It's even more lame having to do with Twilight.
I can understand having a "crush" on a fictional character - they're written so that you will. The problem with a lot of die-hard Twilight fans is that they don't seem to get that Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference, and please stop kissing your windows.
P.S. I would also recommend NOT trying to have sex with an icicle. That is all.
Congrats! You're a fucking moron.
#190 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:53pm by zuli
YDI for licking a window,retarded twilight lover
When will people realize that Twilight is a horrible movie and should be thrown off the face of Earth? Along with all of the actors in it.
Fail, chick needs to get a life
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how is that an FML??? thats funny :] i woulda done it
#203 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:29pm by gra_k
Haha, nice. I would've liked this more without the edward cullen thing though.
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FYL
Who cares if you kissed a window for a couple seconds?
(Watch as this gets Moderated)
#209 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:45pm by scateice
no. not JUST kissed a window. kissed a window to see what it is like to kiss a FICTIONAL character from a MOVIE that mental morons started a RELIGION called CULLENISM over. now do you see the ydi?
They started a frikken religion? Well, fuckshit. (fuckshit is something I do. I say fuck and then immediatly after, I say shit. Shut up grammar trolls and go burn in hell.)
Edward Cullen is an abusive, manipulative stalker asshole, and Bella is an idiot for not running the other way and getting a restraining order. Then again she has no survival instinct, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Some role model for young girls!
I can't believe idiots like the OP take shit like Twilight seriously.
I agree, all the warning signs of an abuser are there. http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm
Wow, Pathetic much ?
You deserved it, No question.
Wow now that is sad. Seriously, Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Get over it.
#215 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:02pm by nzl
YDI for liking twilight in the first place
YDI for being creepily obsessed with a character in a book.
C'mon everyone, let's get a chant going-
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Once that gets old, we can switch to "Twitard."
How is this an FML?? OP, you were acting like an idiot, but instead of saying anything, your neighbour was kind enough to get you windex. You should be greatful for such a neighbour. Or is the FML here, "Today I was totally obsessed with Edward so I acted like an idiot"? In which case, why'd u add the part about your neighbour?
OP, this is incredibly, inexpressibly creepy. Not because you seem to have some sort of obsession with a fictional character, but because you kissed a window to know what it would be like to kiss a corpse. That's right, Edward Cullen has cold, cold lips because he is a vampire, and doesn't have warm blood running through his veins. This is because he is a dead thing. OP, you kissed a window to know what it would be like to have the cold, dead lips of a corpse pressed to your own.
I just hope you don't expect the corpse to slip you any tongue.
you're a total dork and you have severe mental problems
This was far too long.
It could have ended earlier:
"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML."
You're fucking creepy, too. If you want to know what it would REALLY feel like, kiss a dead body. Cheers.
YDI for liking that piece of shit Twilight.
Ok wow. I'm a twilight fan too but seriously... GET A REAL BOYFRIEND. Don't go kissing windows because first of all if u were a twilight fan you would understand that that's completely rediculous because of the descriptions in the book. I hate these damn stereotypes. NOT ALL TWILIGHT FANS ARE FREAKS!!! Thank you that's all. =]
i respects peoples oppinions. even if it is twilight. BUT YOU PPL TAKE IT TO THE FUCKING INSANITY OF EXTREME. DELETE THIS FML AND REPOST IT WHEN YOU GET PUT IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION!
How is she supposed to re-post it if she's in a mental institution?
It's funny when a crazy phase highlights the idiots in our population.
Wow. Seriously. I don't even know what to say to that.
#231 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:57pm by chyeaitskim
you are straight up pathetic...Edward Cullen..seriously?? get a life
#233 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:58pm by Breeneefml12
Twilight and window make-out sessions aside, what kind of moron would ever clean a window with their tongue?
Congratulations, you went out of your way to make your neighbor think you're one kind of an idiot instead of another.
I wouldn't give you Windex, I'd let you pick up whatever bacteria you get and leave it at that.
He seemed to have bought your story... so your plan did work.
I would agree that it was a bit of a silly thing to do... much like some people kissing posters and cardboard cut outs... but it's nothing that warrents the extreme berating you've recieved. The anti-twilight fangirls/fanboys are always just as ludicrous and psychotic as the actual twilight fangirls/fanboys.
May I note that these would not be terms to describe people who merely like or dislike the films/books, simply the terms to describe those that take these two to the extremes.
I'm gonna go with troll on this one
That was a nice idea--I hope it brought you to a conclusion that dating Edward Cullen would be unenjoyable, to say the least.
Oh, and I am glad your neighbor fell for your cover-up. Otherwise you would have been subjected to berating IRL to the similar extent that you got here.
To the 236 comments before this one: Twilight may not be good literature, and people can interpret it incorrectly, but that doesn't entitle you to post flame comments.
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i have to say, i'm a huge fan of twilight saga, but not the movies, the books, the movies themselves are completely idiotic with very bad acting. as well, you need to get your head out of a fantasy world, its' not real, just becase you saw it on the tv
you SAD SAD SAD person!!!
id beat you if i knew you
you're a sad, pathetic loser and Robert Pattinson is NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE
#244 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:23pm by xxERINxx
How is kissing a cold window like kissing fucking Edward? Three things. Scott Speedman is hotter. You probably got your tongue stuck to the damn window. Thats how the people saw you. And finally...GET A FREAKING LIFE!!!
Slim Shady all the way bitches!!
1) that was a pathetic thing to do
2) if you had to be that pathetic, why not just kiss the inside of the freezer door or something? Just as cold and more privacy.
*gasp* I do that to!!!!!!!!!
Instantly hit the YDI button when my eyes read "Edward Cullen"
You deserve it for being a Twihard fan.
For everyone's sake, I hope you're a troll. I really do.
YDI for liking that shitty book series.
Marrajane is the most rational person on here. Seriously. I agree with you ~ while I admitedly read it and enjoyed them just as everyone else on this planet did, I am not going to sit here and fling myself in front of a bus because I have no chance with Edward. Because I know and accept the fact that he is NOT REAL and a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Some people are just sick, pathetic people (ie; OP)
Um, no. Not everyone on the planet enjoyed the books.
Stupid people enjoyed the books.
People who have an idea of what real literature is recognized that they were just as crappy as The Da Vinci Code.
Thanks for that. =]
#262, I respect the fact you didn't like the books, that's your prerogative. I don't think they're the epitome of literature, however, I do find them to be a guilty pleasure of sorts. I tend to read a lot of different works from a lot of authors. If you were to look on my bookshelves, you'd find Emily Brontë, Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, J.R.R Tolkein, C.S Lewis, Anna Sewell, George Orwell, James Baldwin, J.G. Ballard, Truman Capote, Agatha Christie, Jonathon Swift, Jane Austen, Albert Camus, H.G. Wells, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jules Verne, William James, Aldous Huxley, William Burroughs, Edmund White, Isaac Asimov, Mark Twain, Ray Bradbury, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Leo Tolstoy, James Joyce, Edgar Allen Poe, Proust and a large number of others, yes, including Stephanie Meyer. Just keep that in mind next time you label all Twilight readers as stupid. I doubt you'd recognize a lot of the names on my shelves.
You + Cliff - Balance = Me + :D
.
"to see what kissing edward cullen would be like"??????
f.u.
.
i think #259 just nailed how the rest of us feel about ur ridiculous behavior OP
I HOPE this is fake. If not, you need to die. This is beyond pathetic.
Not every single person who likes twilight is a pathetic and obsessive little fangirl- I happen to like twilight but I don't obsess over it AT ALL and I make fun of it too, because the concept is pretty ridiculous. but kissing a frozen window??? that is beyond obsessive, that is deranged and quite frightening as well. Edward is not real, neither are any of the other characters. don't waste your time on a creepy fictional vampire who sparkles.
HAHAHAHA....You suck but twilights awesome
i love twilight...but come on....LOSER!!
I love the Twilight saga, I'll admit it. However, it's people like the OP who make us all look bad! Get your head out of your ass and wake up to reality! Edward isn't real. Even if he was real, he probably wouldn't kiss you because you're creepy. Please get a life.
You are sad and lonely and need an actual relationship not some 14year old girls masturbating material
There are some people who really make me lose faith in all humanity and the concept of logic. You are one of them.
Wow. Just, wow. Get a life
You are a fucking moron you dim-whitted dipshit! YDI and so much more for reading Twilight let alone liking it. Pick up a real book.
Who the FUCK licks windows??! REALLY? wow. this is just. wow. how sad. i have lost ALL faith in humanity. Oh dear God.
I'm glad someone besides me focused on the more bizarre part of this story.
Whatever, you pretend to kiss whoever you want, but then covering it up by licking the window?!
lol no problem. who knows maybe next week we'll get an FML saying that they kissed an oven to see what kissing jacob black would be like. now THAT would be epic. and i would laugh. very hard.
It seems like every girl who likes Twilight thinks that vampire dude is real. That is just sad beyond all reason...
Twilight sucks. Period. End of discussion.
Youre right OP FYL. Cause you're obsessed with an IMAGINARY guy. WHO GLITTERS! Y'know like idk GAY GUYS!
You're a sad person. Good luck finding someone real.
The OP is a complete tool, and twilight is gay as hell.
I'm assuming you won't mind if I cut your brakes?
I have NEVER EVER seen so many comments on an FML within the first 24 HRS of the FML being posted. OP your story really got people talking.
If this is a fake FML, kill yourself. If it is real, kill yourself.
just kill yourself. RIGHT NOW!!
when I read Edward Cullen I set up iMacro to click YDI 10 times a second, for a whole hour
Strictly speaking, wouldn't Edward actually be room temperature?
you are fucking retarded.
hahahahah I LOVE how all the pro-twilight posts are getting buried :D
yes, OP, you are a retard.
just the first sentance is an fml
why would Edward Cullen be that cold?
this fml sounds fake. if this is real, this is the most stupid I have ever read and that was really patheic. and responding to the ither cmments not every teenage girl likes twilight.
I hate twilight.
#301 - On 11/28/2009 at 9:39am by blackberry1993
What a retard. Really? I don't get why all these stupid Twilight fans are that obsessed. Fine to love it, but really? Idiot.
WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT EDWARD CULLEN?!?!?! He moves fast, sparkles, and doesn't kill. Vampire? Try fairy.
No offense (and trust me I've been in your shoes), but first of all, Twilight is a good book, not reality. If you treat it like reality, you'll just make it look even more pathetic. Second of all, Edward Cullen is not real. You will never meet an icy, masochistic vampire, so its really useless to even try to pucker your lips at a window. And since there's over a billion guys in the world, I'm pretty sure you'll meet someone better than Edward Cullen (I know I have). Lastly, you never know what germs could be on a window, and you should really thank your neighbour for bringing you back to the real world, where windows aren't drop-dead-gorgeous guys.
@304... rofl!!!! dude u are awesome, that made my day.
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SHUT UP IF U THINK EDWARD IS HORRIBLE HE IS A PERFECT GUY!!!!! AND I LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER BUT EDWARD IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ANY OF U COULD EVER BE!!!
You forgot the part where he's not real.
Enjoy your life as a bitter spinster.
#312 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:57pm by The_Nothing
Good luck ever getting with a real man. Have fun masturbating to that piece of shit you call a book for the rest of your life.
plus, he sparkles. so lets review. A. he's not real. B. he sparkles. anything else you'd like to go over?
I liked Twilight up until people started freaking out about it. I'm reeaally burnt out on it.
Your best bet is to stop obsessing over a book and fictional characters and to actually focus on REAL people. And to also use some of that windex, 'cause your window probably has a bunch of weird smears on it and that's kind of nasty.
hahaha!!! that seriously just made my day. stupid 12 year old girls...
YDI for being obsessed with a fictional boy.
YDI for not even attempting to get a real boyfriend and being hung up on a fictional dude.
YDI for being a Twitard.
YDI for not realizing that Twilight is crap and Edward is an abusive stalker.
YDI for wanting to be Bella.
YDI for thinking kissing a window would be anything like kissing a person.
This is not an FML because the only thing wrong with your life is you being an dumb idiot and becoming obsessed with someone who's not real. It's your own fault now GTFO this site OP.
#311 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:56pm by The_Nothing
Hellz ya! Fuck her! Stop getting fucking fat and maybe you could get a real boy friend!
As soon as I read the first sentence, I clicked YDI. EDWARD IS NOT REAL, Twilight sucks, and anyone with sense would rather drink that bottle of Windex than kiss a creeper like Edward. Also, kissing someone is NOTHING like kissing a window. Idiot.
I couldn't help but laugh at your stupidity.
#317 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:28pm by notabot
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I'm sorry, but this is probably one of the dumbest things I've read on this site, you're a freaking idiot.
you know what...FYL not only for actually kissing a window....but having the audacity of posting about it KNOWING you would get harrassed, btw youre neighbor didnt give you the windex to clean with, he meant for you to drink it
Twilight is a terribly written book that teaches girls that lust is love, and that the dysfunctional "Love" between Bella and Edward is a good thing. The "Vampires" In the books are sparkle pixies, and Bella is an annoying over dramatic ditz.
YDI for thinking a twilight character is 1) real or 2) worth even thinking about, and for kissing a window and thinking it would be like kissing a person.
FUCKING TWILIGHT IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF NOW...'nuff sed
Wow, really? You kissed a window? I hope tht tht window is on like the third from and you fall out of tht window, hopefully on the same piece of glass tht you kissed, and you die (: Tht, my friend, would be a major WINNNN. And #283, awesome (:
I hope you die, preferably now so that you can't procreate.
Now you know how it feels to kiss Edward, you should turn on the cooker and kiss the hob to find out what it's like to kiss Jacob.
Seriously you are an idiot...
I really enjoy reading the books and am currently midway through breaking dawn. The books are fantastic, the movies (so far) are ok. But alot of the fans are insane and REALLY need to see a therapist O_o
YDI because you referenced Twilight.
you are a sad sack of shit OP.
Why hasn't someone made an FML account under the name of EdwardCullen to troll these people?
"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like."
YDI you silly little bint.
Plus, if your window was not sparkly and a raging homosexual with stalker tendancies, then it was nothing like Edward Cullen.
Damn i was hoping for a "lips getting stuck" story. But seriously? That was your excuse??? X$ YDI
Ugh, this sickens me. Go kiss the business end of a wood chipper, OP.
Ok...if the OP had just posted, "Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML," then that would be appropriate. Other than that, its just a FAIL. Thei life is fucked by their own doing.
He is a fictional VAMPIRE that SPARKLES. HE JUMPS OVER TREES. how much more unreal can it get? dont kiss windows. you look/sound like an idiot. just don't. ok?
This is what Twilight does to you
if this is true, you deserved it.
if not, then the lols procceed
Wtf is wrong with you. Firstly, twilight sucks, and the dude who play edward IS UGLY AS ALL HELL so wtf! Maybe your just an obese cow who doesn't have a life like every other twilfag.
Congratulations! You offically fail at life. Now go jump off a bridge and end your nonsensual fanism. [yes I know thats not a word.]
Ahhh, pastry faced creeper lover.. I pity you not.
Okay first of all, this is absolutely pathetic. You can love Edward Cullen all you want, but are you seriously going to pretend to kiss a fictional character, with a window?!?!
And second of all, everybody that is hating on Twilight obviously has not read the books. Its not all about the movies, the book are a lot better than the movies and people seem to forget that the books every existed. Give them a chance before you go and say that Twilight is crap, because it really isn't. Obviously people like this girl take it to a whole new extreme, but not everyone does.
Umm the books are fairly crap. Sure they're enjoyable, but badly written with hardly any likeable characters.
I have read the books and watched the movies and the books are WORSE than the movies. There are plot holes, grammatical errors and descriptions on Edwards beauty every fucking single page.
I'm not sure there's anything I could write that would demean you more than your own post. Loser.
So, I think you should drink that Windex. Yup, that whole bottle.
If you're a kid, you'll grow up and have a good and fulfilling life putting that poorly written garbage (it's poorly written, hard to believe as that seems) behind you.
But I suspect you're one of the screaming hordes of forty-year old never-been-kissed fat ugly bitches.
God, I miss when Harry Potter was the craze with the teenage girls..... oh wait, no I don't. At least we've progressed past the point of fans running around in capes with horribly affected British accents.
Also, Windex is not *that* toxic, since the main ingredient (after water) is isopropyl alcohol. To be sure you should put some Clorox on your wish list and drink that as well. I have always believed in being thorough.
-Double D
would everyone like to stop slatin twilight? im pretty sure, bein one myself, that teenage girls dont read books because they have 'indirect speech' or 'dont say said after people talk each time'. id actually like to see you come up with a plot that good. no? didn't think so. i hope you enjoyed my little rant :)
and once again.... we will be remembered as the generation of the sparkly vampires and shirtless wearwolves... this obsession has gone too far... really its a story. it may have been cool and well written but its rather annoying hearing stuff. its okay though, we've all had crushes, we're not 13 forever.
wow...........pretending to kiss a fictional character....
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