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Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (3111) - you totally deserved it (45306)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

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Comments

thats pretty pathetic.

#1 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:46am by staymonkey

Sorry for posting at the top, but in my opinion this FML is bullshit and I bet the OP is just trying to get a response out of us. If not then yeah YDI, please don't procreate.

#54 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:38am by marz88

procreate? i'm hoping she does us all a favor and drinks that bottle of windex.

OP - here's a hint, kissing edward cullen would feel like nothing because HE'S NOT REAL.

#56 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:47am by diet_otaku

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

hiii sorry, that sucks :( but i totally understand haha im a huuuuuge twighlight fan but you never saw a christmas story? aren't you scared you might get stuck or something?

#80 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:41am by i_love_you143

I hate teenage girls.

#121 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:33am by JollySpace

This is not as much about Twilight as it is about the freaking dillusional woman kissing and licking her window to feel what it would be like to kiss a fictional character.

Seriously though, those movies are for pathetic lonely milfs and their daughters to masterbate to.

You know a 40-something year old woman asked Taylor Lautner (in front of her daughter) to sign her underwear if she could get them of somehow because she was wearing Team Taylor underwear? Fucking pedophiles, leave the poor kid alone.

#134 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:06pm by Mirequetz

how the HELL is kissing a window like kissing someone? You are fucking retarded and I hope you get aids from your window.

#136 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:12pm by Mauskau

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Guys, stop hating on Twilight. Call people immature for liking it, but I'll call you immature for freaking out in hatred. Can't you just leave the fans alone? Just because we like something different than the all-righteous you… does not mean you can't respect it.

#140 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:18pm by fringle

youre a huuuuge twilight fan but you cant spell twilight?

#149 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:41pm by mylifeisfuckedd

This comment has been moderated.

#155 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:49pm by justdancebbyx3

I second that.. real pathetic.

#162 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:29pm by alexandraa

did yer window have lips? otherwise it wouldntbe like kissin edward...more like idk...kissing a cold window.

#167 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:49pm by sexxxtacy

Nah, nah, you went about it all wrong. What you WANT to do is break the window and shove the pieces of frozen glass in your pussy to know what fucking him would be like.

#181 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:32pm by JackkBeNimble

I hate how Twitards are giving all teenage girls a bad name. I'm a teenage girl and I strongly dislike Twilight.

#183 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:39pm by Jadian

This chick is a fucking loser. I like Twilight, I really do, I got into it a few months before the massive hype started to hit, and while I still enjoy it, people like this really take the fun of it away. It's a fictional story with fictional characters based on a dream. Believe it or not OP, it is possible to be a fan of something and enjoy something without turning into a creepy bitch. "OMG, Edward is sooooooo dreamy, oh and he's cold and his skin is hard, so a cold piece of glass will feel the same as his lips!!!" You're an embarrassment to mankind, and I can't remember what person said this, but to the person who said don't procreate, I sincerely concur. You children won't have much of a chance of contributing to society in any other ways than making good gossip for being arrested for stalking the tween-crush of their time. And a quick copy and paste of comment #188: "Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference."
That is all.

#194 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm by marrajane

Also, unlike a lot of other Twilight fans, I am more than happy to make fun of the series. My boyfriend and I often exchange links and stories mocking the series for a bit of a laugh, he finds the entire series ridiculous, and this link really does make the series pretty laughable.
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

#199 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:15pm by marrajane

#56 has the right idea lol.


And this is really pathetic, how hard is it to understand that these Twilight characters are works of fiction.

#213 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:56pm by CarterColbie

Poor kid? He knew exactly what he was getting into.

#221 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:51pm by fatherpunk

Kissing a window is further off base than just liking something stupid, kid.

It is probably a good sign of some serious mental problems.

#225 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:26pm by romaunts

It's not "different" if almost every teenage girl now adays is obsessed with it. And no, I can't respect sparkling vampires.

#243 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:22pm by MiseryAlice

QFT!

Also, OP is the kind of person that makes us fans look even worse. Stupid bitch.

#245 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:28pm by Kuroftw

ok im a big twilight fan, but seriously? wtf?! no wonder people keep bashing on it its because of wierdo fans like you :P

#252 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:56pm by badkaty1

#181 = Winner

Hands down.

#257 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:55pm by Six_and_the_Moon

I'm the the *biggest* Twilight fan, but I do like it. There is a different between "hating" on a "fan" and hating on a... well... a weirdo. Seriously... kissing a cold window to imagine kissing a fictional character? That is just stupid. Fan or not.

#275 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:29am by Janbean

LOL, if it was only "liking" the book or movie........

#290 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:34am by hoschiadedodi

Oh the irony.

#303 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:20am by Aha09

Don't make this about teenage girls.
Some of us think the Harry Potter and Twilight shit is stupid.

#305 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:24pm by Hannah_Brooke

But I don't think anyone else here tried kissing a window... In order to experience what it'd be like to kiss a dead guy WHO'S NOT EVEN REAL.

That is all.

#313 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:13pm by SuicideX

Ha, window aids. These are the kind of things you don't post on the internet.

#326 - On 11/29/2009 at 10:31am by WakyWizerdX

Finally someone in there right mind! First of all edward Cullen is not hot in any way shape or form the only reason everyone is freaking out is because most teenage girls are to edging stupid to actually use their own opinion and just listen to everyone else is saying.. Not all teenage girls are stupid some of us have a head on our sholders and can think for our selves so my god please can we act like it

#339 - On 11/30/2009 at 10:19am by klynne2010

u shouldn't hate all teenage girls. just the crazy ones that kiss windows. the rest of us r pretty normal =]

#346 - On 12/01/2009 at 12:46am by eMo_gurll200

some people just need to be punched in the face. you are among them.

#2 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:47am by rexmaxus

Mabe we can convince her its something Edward would do and she'd let us beat her to death.

#66 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:08am by Kurokawa

I'm fairly sure it is something he'd let happen to her, at the least.

#95 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:18am by White667

couldn't agree more.

#109 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:58am by ChaplinSnakker

Twilight fans are certainly not the smartest creatures on earth...

#3 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:47am by d101

Hey, at least she can spell and use basic grammar - which is more than I can say for most die-hard Twilight fans.

#49 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:20am by Apocalyptus

I couldnt agree more...I wish I could hit YDI 1,000 times. If Stephenie Meyers plan was to brain wash all these teenage girls, she suceeded. I would say I hope world domination isnt next on her list but I dont think the cult members following twilight have the cranial compentancy to accomplish such a feat.


I do...
thats a warning.
take cover. you are no longer safe.

#251 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:44pm by greenltrn2003

"Why is Edward Cullen so pale? Because there's no sunlight in the closet."

#283 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:47am by _anonymoose_

you have made my day. thank you very much

#336 - On 11/30/2009 at 12:52am by eMo_gurll200

You people need to "dissapear"

#4 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:47am by teqifsha

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Hey dont be mean to OP because she's a twilight fan (twilight is okay but the fans take it too far to where other people dont like it anymore)

#171 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:58pm by fancypantsninja

This is the internet, sweetie. We can be as mean as we want to. You can't do a damn thing about it. :)

#247 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:54pm by ReportAbuse

and you people need to disappear.
:)

#280 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:29am by chicken_lover

Damn, don't ya think there's a limit of being a fan of something?

When I see these, I always think that the human race could not be worse.... and sadly, I'm always proven wrong.

#5 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:49am by rontifu

Prepare to lose more faith in humanity. One word: CULLENISM.

Google it.

#86 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:57am by Avenging_Angel

I googled it.
I'm going to go throw myself off the highest cliff I can find now.

#182 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:35pm by JackkBeNimble

I googled it too... THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!! how come we didnt see this happening before

#191 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:53pm by fancypantsninja

Yup..googled it. I have officially lost all faith in humanity.

#239 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:51pm by marz88

I googled it also. They ended something with Peace,Love,and Twilight!. This has provided me with more reason to stay Athiest.

#323 - On 11/29/2009 at 1:43am by Tigg3r

#323, I think I love you.

#331 - On 11/29/2009 at 8:25pm by eATT

I am so sick of all this Twilight crud. Get over yourselves people.

#6 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:49am by farflungfloyd

"to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like" … I stopped reading there. You deserve whatever bad things that happen to you

#7 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:50am by r37s4090Xl7N

P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C F-A-I-L.

I'm really sorry but you deserve this...


:[

#8 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:50am by natpewpew

That's beyond pathetic.
You know those books are written for 12 year old girls who have cavernous emotional voids, right?

#9 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:50am by Vitamin_C

well, the O.P is probably 12 if she's dumb enough to kiss an iced over window. To see what it would be like to kiss a fictional vampire. I'll never understand teenage girls..

#21 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:09am by lacho95

Please do not tar all teenage girls with this brush. I certainly was never like this and am pretty sure a lot of others weren't either. One girl =/= all teenage girls.

#23 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:12am by crazyarsedfly

I'd say it's pretty fair to tar all with the same general mentality, it's all part of the developmental process, as much as some would like to protest and profess themselves as having been more 'mature'.

#32 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:34am by uxoriouswidow

I disagree. Sure it's part of the developmental process but not all teenage girls are THIS BAD. I take offense. I've never kissed a frozen window, simply because I have an IQ higher than 20. (Clearly unlike the OP). =D

#111 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:59am by JessAngelus

You deserve it for three main reasons:

1. For liking Twilight to begin with (I think that it is the most stupid thing to hit the big screen since Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuch Norris)

2. For being so completely obsessed over a fictional vampire.

3. And for fantasizing over Edward Cullen - that is just wrong in so many ways.

#10 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:51am by QTp13

I agree...YDI for trying to re-enact (don't know if that's how it's spelt) kissing a fictional character...

#16 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:55am by EmmaJane89_

@ 10: It's not even a vampire. Those things have no fear of garlic or the cross and aren't harmed/killed by sunlight.. Of all things, they sparkle. You're being way too nice by calling them vampires. Parasites Is a more appropriate term.

#78 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:39am by aaaaa2p

That just made my day.

Twilight is the bane of modern pop culture. I've been a vampire fan since I was eight, and now all of these Twitards are ruining it. I'll just go and watch Buffy or Nosferatu and read the original vampire novel: Dracula.

#122 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:38am by Melpomene

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

actually it is a vampire, its just not what the media has been calling vampires for the past however many years
and since they are FICTIONAL, stephanie meyer can give them whatever characteristics she wants to

#147 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:39pm by mylifeisfuckedd

vampire (noun)
—(folklore) a corpse that rises at night to drink the blood of the living

The term parasite is often applied to a person who takes advantage of other people and fails to offer anything in return.

Edward Cullen goes to school
Edward Cullen drinks no blood
Edward Cullen sleeps at night(With girls hundreds of years younger than him)
Edward Cullen ALMOST died, thus not being a corpse, but still a living being
Edward Cullen does not give anything to us in return for all his fans but an empty void that nobody will be perfect enough to fill, thus ruining their lives
So we can all conclude, that Edward Cullen, as defined by the dictionary, IS NOT a vampire, but is indeed, a parasite

#179 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:25pm by farhil

very nicely put

#186 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:48pm by dravthorn6669

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

@179:

just for the record:

- Edward Cullen DOES drink blood (the family just tries to avoid drinking human blood, although they have in the past)
- Edward Cullen DOES NOT sleep at night, his human girlfriend does
- Edward Cullen did not almost die. He was almost "killed" in the same way a zombie or any other non-living creature can be "killed" and therefore no longer exist, even though they aren't technically alive in the first place.


there are plenty of things to make fun of Twilight for, at least get your facts straight when you're doing it

#187 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:48pm by theatregrl2

One definition does not a vampire make. That term is based on popular culture- cinema and reading and such.
Vampires are much more complicated than that, and started out very differently in ancient folklore. All of the traits contributed to vampirism are added or subtracted by /someone/- it doesn't make them less a vampire, just because they don't fit the Dracula stereotype.

However, yeah, calling the Cullens vampires is fairly insulting... gag@them.

#226 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:34pm by romaunts

okay, I know how it all started, there was a man named Count Vlad Dracoyla (a real man), also known as Vlad the Impaler. Cause he liked to stap things. Particularly humans. Dracoyla would stab and kill anybody who got on his nerves a little. His wife showered in the blood of his tortured prisoners, thinking it would restore her youth, which is what inspired an author to have "Dracula" drink blood to stay healthy, and the biting part was pretty much out of his imagination. However, Dracoyla was put in prison by his people, and even in prison he would stab bugs with small twigs he could find around his cell. Whenever there was a war, they would release him and let him lead the battle. It was recorded that he would break a branch off a tree and impale his victims on the small stump he left. I think he was also the person who started putting heads on pikes, I'm not sure, I just know he had a lot. Enough that the only friend he had suggested that he took some of the heads around his castle down. Dracoyla didn't like that, so he cut his friend's head off and put it on a really tall pike, "so his head would be above the smell". When Dracoyla died, they buried him in a coffin, and when later archeologists opened up his grave, it was empty, thus the raising from the dead part. The author I mentioned, don't remember who, and I don't want to look it up, visited the country Dracoyla lived in, and was inspired to write the book "Dracula". Count Vlad Dracoyla was the first vampire, and thus set the standards of vampires to be murderous, blood-sucking, undead creatures that would raise from the dead. "Pop-culture" didn't define it, history defined it, and my previous comment did a pretty good job at defining it.

Besides, my comment was a joke, I haven't seen the movie or read the books, I just based it off what I have heard and read about it.
And for common sense's sake, being "almost killed" is absolutely no different than "almost dying", and yeah, undead things can die, but from what I have seen of the movie (didn't watch the whole thing, I started though) Edward Cullen DID NOT die, he was turned into a vampire so he WOULDN'T DIE, correct me if I'm wrong though, but I don't care either way, my point is he was never dead, so he couldn't have been UNdead, because to be made undead, you had to die in the first place, which never happened to Edward.

#279 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:29am by farhil

*Sigh* =/

#11 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:52am by plaidtak

YDI for ruining modern culture.

#12 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:53am by blalien

This is so fake, if you kissed your "iced-over window", the ice and your lips would stick, which according to your FML didn't happen, so FAKE!

#13 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:53am by keithfeeney

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

agreed...especially since there hasn't been any ICE yet this year?!

#63 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:06am by LoHo14

#13. Your lips don't stick to glass. Metal, yes. Glass, no.

#63. Yes, because everyone lives where you live. There's certainly been plenty of ice where I'm from.

#89 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:01am by Envy

@ 13: No, her lips would not stick to an iced over window. The ice would melt too fast from the heat of her mouth to do any damage.

@ 63: I don't know where you live, (if you live in Iowa like the OP, then my point is moot, and I apologize) but there have been plenty of cold mornings here where there has been frost on the grass and windows.

I'm not really defending this FML though. This really is kind of pathetic. Why would you want to waste your time pretending to kiss a (made up) borderline abusive stalker?

#90 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:03am by AndelleRae

I live in Iowa, I have ice on my windows some mornings, although I do not kiss and lick them.

#159 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:09pm by jane99

I wish I had some icy windows to lick and suck. Not that I need to kiss any imaginary person, but I just like giving the neighbors a fun show :]

#211 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:51pm by mercyFML

wow you're dumb.

#14 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:55am by windchime

wow you're dumb.

#15 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:55am by windchime

Kiss a baboons ass...it should be the same as Edward's. YDI for overfantasizing over a fictional character. I was hoping Edward would die in the first two minutes of New Moon. Why can't all good things happen in this world!?!

#17 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:00am by pattheaninal

You're doing it wrong, the window has to be SPARKLY! SPARKLY!!!!!

#18 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:01am by ActionManly

LMAO. Thanks.

#22 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:12am by pendatic

Ahahaha, thanks for the laugh. (:

#35 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:48am by Ipreferbroccoli

YDI for being sad

#19 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:07am by HBubble

Oh dear. Get a life before saying it's f**ked. Thank you.

#20 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:07am by crazyarsedfly

I agree, you deserved it. Seriously, why kiss a window? This proves you have the smallest ratio of getting a boyfriend. I'm glad your not at my school.

#25 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:16am by pattheaninal

you're a retard

#24 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:16am by yakturk43

I normally wouldn't say this to someone I've never met on the internet, but you are an idiot. Beyond any comprehensible proportions.

#26 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:18am by mutant_tomato

What's next, sprinkling your boyfriend with glue?

#27 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:19am by sharon_ellj

LOL!!!! OMG!!!! and I thought kissing posters of pop stars was pathetic!!

#28 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:20am by heart604

it is. now go fantasize about your pedophilestic abusive stalker

#189 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:53pm by dravthorn6669

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Whoaa, women are so weak :P Hollywood can make you do tricks! XD

#29 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:21am by enlitenbank

By glue i meant glitter. Hey, at least i wasn't kissing a frosted window!

#30 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:22am by sharon_ellj

You use glue, then glitter. Then you sacrifice him to the Cullenist cult in hopes that he will be resurrected as a "vampussy."

#266 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:10pm by Chopperman

So sad... YDI

#31 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:30am by Sdras

You might be interested in this http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP
IT SPARKLES!

On a different note: *facepalm*

#33 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:34am by HuskyButt

LOL

#34 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:43am by QTp13

...if nothing else the comments on that page are hysterical! XD

#277 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:06am by Psykotic

that link...I'm scared now.

#322 - On 11/29/2009 at 1:15am by LadyDraigen

YDI. And I have one question... Did you put glitter on that window too so you could pretend it was Edward's sparkly nutsack? Dumb ass girls... Twilight fans that are this stupid should not be allowed to have children...

#36 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:48am by stinchbird

YDI for liking Twilight, YDI for kissing an iced-over window, YDI for being a complete retard and trying to cover up your idiocy.

Can anyone say FAIL?

#37 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:56am by rhodium

I can say fail....Fail!

#84 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:50am by perryscherry

So hugging snowmans will be a whole different adventure for you. You can make an Edward angel!

Popsicles. Whoa.

#38 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:57am by Ipreferbroccoli

Damnit you just ruined ice-cream for me.

#61 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:02am by PandaPandaPandaX

hahahahaha

#65 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:08am by LoHo14

Nooooo! Dammit, I'll never eat a popsicle again because of you! X(

#267 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:15pm by Chopperman

"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML" There, I fixed it.

#39 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:59am by not_my_life

Jesus effing H. YDI. YDI a f**king thousand times.

#40 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:05am by MoonyIce

you're retarded

#41 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:05am by kewl92

oh dear....

why would kissing a window even me a good substitute for a fictional character? he has cold lips (presumably) but why not kiss an ice cube or a freezer or any other cold object? im pretty sure his lips arent supposed to be flat and slippery and so a piece of glass really doesnt seem like your best option

#42 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:07am by simmo8591

Wow, you are one fucking stupid twitard. How about next you have sex with a banana you stuck in the freezer?

#43 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:13am by Broeman

In defense of Twilight: Despite being a 25yo/m and not a little girl, I actually really like the books. The movies, though stupid, are pretty damn hilarious too.

In defense of you... I got nothing. Seek help.

#44 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:15am by Sionnach

Thank you. I like the books. But I would never do anything like this. This girl is STUPID. YDI, OP. Not all Twilight fans are stupid, little, rabid girls... lol

#132 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:59am by CheshireHalli

This comment has been moderated.

#45 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:17am by Sacrilege

For the good of humanity, I am going to have to kill you.

#46 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:17am by monkeyspark

You are an idiot. YDI

#47 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:18am by solocredere12

That is just plain retarded. Next time find a stiff then you can use the excuse it is a dead family member. ydi

#48 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:19am by dloc1

Lol, thats sad.

#50 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:21am by missnightmare

Wait, wait... I didn't know Edward was made of glass. I guess that would explain the sparkles.

So I take it you're on the necrophilia end of the necrophilia/bestiality Twilight character attraction scale.

#51 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:30am by Buffel

That's so sad and pathetic... when I was reading it I was thinking "please let her lips actually stick to the window"

#52 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:32am by tikimuppet

Fangirl alert, run like HELL.

#53 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:35am by GreenRupee

I just feel really bad for Rob Pattinson. Imagine how he must feel - having freaky fans like that O.O


And to OP: You can be glad that your neighbor didn't call a shrink, declare you a mental patient, lock you up and put you in a straight jacket.

#55 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:41am by QTp13

LOOOL !!!!

#57 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:47am by frostie

wow...im speechless...

#58 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:50am by i_luv_cheese

You do realise that guys who sparkle aren't generally into girls right?

#59 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:51am by Skett

yeah but what if you were born pink? would that make you gay?

#64 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:07am by polico_wolf

This is getting a little out of hand. Edward Cullen is not real. Whatever you think of him just remember a woman wrote the script. I mean I like twilight but I'm not going to let going to let a fake guy run my life you wierdo.

#60 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:56am by snowstorm

Considering I'm up in Canada and we haven't really had any frost or anything I really doubt you've had any....therefore fake FML! Which makes you look even more desperate. YDI

#62 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:04am by LoHo14

they are in america... in Iowa...

#67 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:09am by polico_wolf

I'm also in Canada, and we have.

#91 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:04am by Envy

I'm also in Canada, and we have.

P.S. It definitely snowed in New Mexico a few weeks ago.

EDIT: Sorry for the double comment. My original wasn't showing up.

#92 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:06am by Envy

I live in Iowa, and there is frost on my windows some mornings, although I don't kiss and lick them.

#161 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:17pm by jane99

What the fuck, man.

I like how your screen name is very fitting. It saddens me that people like you are how others see our generation. Although, I'm HOPING that you're at least a few years younger than me...

Please don't reproduce. Although, I'm fairly certain that your chances of ever getting a boyfriend are rather slim at this point. Unless you find a guy that's into that shit. Then you should keep him, because nobody else wants him.

Oh, and just in case you haven't figured it out by now, EDWARD CULLEN IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

#68 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:11am by Baroness542

hahahahahahahahaha! how lame can you be

#69 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:21am by killurbeer

You deserve it for being a Twilight freak.

#70 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:22am by Dynoblaze

YDI for being a pathetic twilight fanatic and taking the obsessness to a whole new level.

#71 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:22am by darkpath

agreeed #71

#72 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:25am by Dawson30534

You are the reason I hate twilight.
Please die.

#73 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:29am by Folkhoer

the first line is an fml alone.
Thanks for the laugh.

#74 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:35am by bnovek84

You're a triple panda, go eat a triple bamboo, what's the problem.

You lie. Ice cream can't be ruined for anyone, you should know better. (:

#75 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:37am by Ipreferbroccoli

grow up, douche

#76 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:37am by Chichikov

Your probably one if those people that has the freezeable dildo too.

#77 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:38am by Dubstep

Ashley greene is pretty hot though... the only reason I would see that movie

#79 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:39am by bnovek84

Wow. All I can say is wow/

#81 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:43am by alwaysalady

I don't know if you've noticed, sweetheart, but Edward Cullen isn't real. Let's not even get into whether or not he's a proper vampire thingie... he's a straight up fictional character. Kissing a window is just going to show you what kissing a window is like. Why not actually go... date a real dude? You might get lucky and find one that treats you like a real person as opposed to that shitty emotionally abusive stalking thing Edward does in the book.

Why are vampires all after underaged girls? I guess when you're immortal you don't HAVE to worry about statutory rape laws.

#82 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:48am by hatcher

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

LOLZ....maybe instead of Windex, your neighbour shouldve bought you Edward Cullen ..!

#83 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:48am by chinchy97

No.

#85 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:53am by haj

This comment is nearly as big of an epic fail as the original post. Just don't talk anymore. At the OP, your life is really FUCKED up and you should probably grow up and stop fantasizing over a retarded fictional character. And even if you do, do not post it on the Internet, because we will make fun of you.

#88 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:00am by theta

Blast, we're gonna be hearing mindless pap about Twilight for the rest of the year, huh....

Perhaps your neighbor could buy you a life. That's what it sounds like you really need.

#87 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:58am by blastvortex

FUCK TWILIGHT

#93 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:09am by soccer1788

Wow, OP, you fail at just about everything. That's pretty much pathetic.

#94 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:11am by kris4126

YDI after only that first line.

#96 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:18am by AeryFairy

Wow I can only imagine what she'll try next to feel how it'd be to have sex with Edward .

#97 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:19am by mps1969

If this does not warrant a facepalm........

#98 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:20am by KingHumanity

ou fail so epically it's almost a win

#99 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:22am by Rebeccasaurus

i think u r stupid.....go to a mental hospital, at least they MIGHT be able to help u!

#100 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:23am by lover6

Today, I took a popsicle and stuck it in my poop chute to find out what it would be like if Edward Cullen went to town in my brown. WIN. I'll choose a chocolate popsicle next time to know what it's like with the black vampire.

#101 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:24am by shaniqualee

#101 Lol WIN

#363 - On 01/11/2010 at 6:19pm by FMYLIFEd00ds

One would assume such a huuuuuge fan would at the very least know how to spell it.

#102 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:32am by Lawlipop

everybody take a pill and relax. Twilight made a crap load of money in its first weekend so obviously there a lot of people going to see the movie. I have neither read the books or seen the movie and I am not even interested in seeing the movie, I'm too old for that kinda crap, but from the sounds of this post, OP is a child, and from what I have seen lately on FML, it seems that kids and tweens are mainly on here now.

Give her a break, I'm sure a lot of you were silly kids. And OP, how can tonguing a cold pane of glass be even remotely similar to kissing a dude!!!! Use an orange for craps sake!

#103 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:43am by patticake1601

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

OP, I'm sure that more than half these people haven't read Twilight, so they clearly don't know what they're missing, haha. :) But that's kind of funny, I must admit. :]

#104 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:44am by iAndrea

as someone who has read the books and wasted my time to see the first movie. yes i do know what im talking about. the books sucked and the movie was worse.

#197 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:04pm by dravthorn6669

the only reason I can think of that you would have even considered doing this is because you must be a fat lard who obssesses over stupid fake crap like this and expects everyone to live up to your standards because they need to b like Edward! get a life freak! YDI

#105 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:44am by Stang4life

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

just kiss Robert pattinson and ull know exactly what it's like to kiss Edward Cullen.

#106 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:44am by jw90

You are absolutely pathetic. People like you give our entire generation a bad name and you make me almost embarassed to be a teenage girl because that would mean that I have to be classified in the same group as you. I hope you die because there is honestly no hope in your future. No guy in his right mind would ever want an obsessive freak like you, but then again, that's better for us because you will never reproduce. I hope you go and get help because you really are sick and delusional.

#107 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:50am by pshnoway

Agreed. OP, best to remove yourself from the gene pool now. Can't have little obsessive yous running around in the future. It would be a pandemic.

#108 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:55am by JessTrek

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

pshnoway you are a fucking bitch. what right have you to judge her? you don't. especially considering you are so stuck up and vein, it's people like YOU who are ruining the human race and given the choice between the stuck up bitch that is you and th op, I would honestly choose her. I really hope you grow up before you reproduce. or at least have a horrible accident rendering you infertile.

#110 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:59am by Jagger117

I like how you criticized me for judging the OP by judging me, really that didn't make you look like a hypocrite at all. Also, I would never date someone who is willing to defend a twitard anyways because there is no excuse for their ridiculous behaviour or your pathetic comeback. I hope next time you attack somebody, you can make yourself look less dumb while doing it.

#158 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:00pm by pshnoway

There's why I'm embarrassed to be a teenage girl in this generation. He's not real, he never will be, get over it, and stop obsessing.

#112 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:00am by Linka

I agree with #108. Get the hell out of the gene pool and read a REAL book instead of that anti-feminist series. Twilight is an insult to literature and "Edward Cullen" is really just a whinning pale kid

#113 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:08am by IchHasstKaterina

I'm sorry. Edward Cullen will not be your boyfriend. He doesn't exist.

And it bothers me how often I have had to say that in the last dew days.

#114 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:09am by alicenjay

damn twilight fangirls. just another reason to hate twilight.

#115 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:10am by cornsnake

I would really like to believe that this is a fake FML, generated purely for comic value, but something in my heart tells me that there really are Twilight fans out there who are so insanely obsessed that they would do silly, strange things like the scenario mentioned above. Hopefully for you, you will one day realize that Edward Cullen is NOT REAL. And if even if he was, haven't the books provided enough evidence that he is a terrible, abusive boyfriend? I guess the portion of American youth that is attracted to men will forgive abusive behavior if their man sparkles in the sun.

#116 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:13am by BlueberryPies

do u know they have vampire fleshlights? google that shit. I hate my country

#117 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:15am by z411811

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML

#118 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:16am by melxmel

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

I LUV twilight and all of u guys need to crawl in a hole a rot cuz Edward Cullen well Robert Pattinson is hot. Yah maybe that was really stupid but y'all need to shut up about stupid twilight fans cuz the friqqn books r amazing so don't hate!

#119 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:28am by ihmMehHA

Im sorry but i have to disagree, there is nothign about twilight that is good

#124 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:40am by monnanon

And considering your spelling and grammar, you are too stupid to be taken seriously. I'd suggest reading Bram Stoker's Dracula to illustrate what a "REAL" vampire is (as in true to the archetype), but I doubt your IQ can handle it.

Also, the reason why Twilight fans are stupid is because the franchise is stupid. Have fun fantasizing about your abusive, sparkly, stalkerish undead lover.

#128 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:51am by Melpomene

119 -Is it really that difficult to type an entire word? Why do people insist on butchering the English language? Honestly, are you just lazy, or do you truly not know how to spell?

While I am not a Twilight fan myself, I can sort of see why some people (especially squealing teenage girls) are so interested in it. Well, actually, scratch that, I have no idea why so many people are interested in that tripe. To me, Twilight is a lame soap opera with "sparkling." And yes, I actually DID read the first book, so I'm not just saying this. Give me Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel any day! At least Spike was cool! Even Angel had his awesome moments, when he wasn't brooding too much.

The OP is a moron. Why would you kiss a window? Even if Edward whats-his-face was real, I would think that kissing him would NOT be like kissing glass.

#130 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:55am by KayleeFrye

For starters honey, learn basic spelling and grammar. You're not really inspiring us to put any stock in anything you say. Secondly, you're demonstrating the point a lot of people are actually making, not necessarily about the books specifically, but more about the fans of the books. I'm a fan of the books, but you and people like you make it very difficult to remain a fan.

#201 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:25pm by marrajane

hey leave her alone ...i dont agree with her about twilight but nobody cares about grammar in this generation (im from texas and we say "yall" all the time...its like required or something)

#202 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:27pm by fancypantsninja

#130 Yes, BtVS was awesome. I love Joss Whedon. Ask anyone I know, Joss Whedon is my favourite writer/director/series creator. But again, I don't take my appreciation and my love of his work to creepy stalk-Joss-Whedon-and-go-make-out-with-inanimate-objects-to-what-it's-like-to-kiss-him levels.

#205 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:30pm by marrajane

#202 It's not the "y'all" we're jumping on her case for. Read every word other than "y'all" and you'll see our issue.

#206 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:32pm by marrajane

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

This comment has been moderated.

#120 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:32am by citygirlnomore

I laughed pretty hard at this.
And yeah, we know he's not real. Just nice to imagine he is, that's all.

#123 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:38am by BeautifulDawn

i only needed to read the first sentence before YDI'ing it.

#125 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am by andyroxs

nice cover though :)

#126 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am by volleyball101

"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like."

Surely that's where the FML ends?

#127 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am by Tribulations

Remember kids, every time you read Twilight, you are reading the sexual fantasy of a lonely, overweight, pathetic woman.

Wait, that sounds like most of the fangirls.

#129 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:53am by rachel_renegade

retard

#131 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:55am by babeyy

What is an "Edward Cullen"? is it a fancy type of window brand? :>

#133 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:05pm by Anteezy

Stupid Twitard. At least go to a convention where it wouldn't look as ridiculous.

#135 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:11pm by SeximusPrime

Fuck you.

#137 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:13pm by ephilation

Fuck twatlight

#138 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:14pm by UMAD

Please don't ever have kids.

#139 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:16pm by alex_vik

Agree

#198 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:05pm by UselessName

Yes. Because I can see that this will be someone who will name their kids after twilight characters.

#242 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:16pm by stinchbird

this is why I won't give twilight a chance. if I do, I might turn crazy. and I'm not just gonna like it because everybody else does, those people are stupid and need to get their own life. (tons of bad grammar, idc)

#141 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:25pm by besad

You're pathetic. Edward is a fictional character, and I hate women like you who think they need the perfect man. Guess what? There is no such thing, so get over it.

#142 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:27pm by buttseckz

Window licker, I bet you ride the short bus to school.

#143 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:27pm by CallMeHush

I just read the first line. I then applied my palm to my face in anguish, that we as a species have actually come down to this level of stupidity.

Read the book. Enjoy it. Then live your life.

DO NOT Read the book, then pathetically try to pretend to be Bella.

#144 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:29pm by LegndNikko

i can only hope you die soon. like nowish if thats cool with you. just get a pogo stick and hang out on the freeway around 5 oclock with a blindfold.

#145 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:32pm by guitardedman

DIAF OP.

#146 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:35pm by FritoLovesYou

I'll make this quick and simple..

YDI for wanting to kiss a fictional 'vampire' whose face lookss like my foot :D

#148 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:40pm by Lyfiar

Probably not a good idea to say any body part of yours looks like Cullen, fangirls will make your house their Mecca.

#314 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:15pm by The_Nothing

you were doing something stupid and embarassing and got free windex out of it. most people just get ridiculed.

#150 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:41pm by 42billybob

This comment has been moderated.

#151 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:42pm by zorn___

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

haha wow ydi

but i cants say much coz me and my friends put ice in our panties for a similair reason xD

#152 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:43pm by VampyrXPixie

@ #152: What are you 10 or something? But then again, who am I to judge. Whatever floats your boat I guess....

#156 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:52pm by QTp13

#152: GET A LIFE

#195 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:03pm by UselessName

Wow, I think that's one of the creepiest things I ever heard. The thought that people would actually do that is going to haunt me.

#207 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:35pm by marrajane

Oh my fucking god, people are such retards.

Seriously.

Twilight is the biggest bullshit I've ever heard of/seen/read to begin with, it is so beyond fucking sad people would go to such lengths to be with a fucking 108 year old virgin.

And I'm sorry, but, he's not a vampire. He's just a fucking freak created by a lonely woman's sexual fantasies. ;)

#153 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:46pm by failuristic

YDI for liking twlight and pretending to kiss a fictional charecter

#154 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:48pm by CHEESYBIGMAC

You're dumb.

#157 - On 11/27/2009 at 12:59pm by hate_my_life29

What in the world is wrong with you?!
I mean the books were good, but the movie was horrible. And lets face it Edward/Rob isn't even that great looking. YDI

#160 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:14pm by Whatsername6353

OP, get a fucking life.

#163 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:32pm by lostfaithinpppl

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Edward Cullen is pretty amazing.. :)

#164 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:35pm by Ella177

I told myself yesterday that I would try to read a Twilight book to see if I was right to be hating something that I never read. OP, I will now NEVER read Twilight.

#165 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:46pm by painandpeace

ydi for being a dumb bitch and being obssessed with a fake guy

#166 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:47pm by bloodyhell9398

Holy fucking shit! I'm still half expecting this to be a joke.
What Twilight does to people...

#168 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:53pm by yamicr

hahahahahahahahahahha. you're lucky you didn't get stuck to it.

#169 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:53pm by k43L1

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Ooo I would do that too(;

#170 - On 11/27/2009 at 1:57pm by xxxNataliexxx

so what are you going to do next? kiss a hot iron to know what kissing Jacob Black is like? have fun in the emergency room.

#172 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:00pm by Tigg3r

Lols. Golden. Although, be careful what you type, some Team Jacob twi-hard might read that and get ideas.

#208 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:37pm by marrajane

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

YDI for being team Edward.

#173 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:06pm by wolfgirl19

I hoped some freaky twilight fans would learn from this dumbass,but no *team edward* all over the comment page,fucking reatards! GET A LIFE!

#193 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm by UselessName

YDI for trying to know what it's like to kiss a fictional character.

#174 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:17pm by heartlessagony

Ha, your neighbor is pretty badass. Oh and YDI.

#175 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:19pm by shananigans

WOw..... i am a huge Twilight fan too but that wasnt the smartest thing to do lol

#176 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:20pm by Sierra365

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

1 - YDI for kissing a window. germs, much?
2 - YDI for not being Team Jacob.

#177 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:21pm by DecayDance

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

1 - YDI for kissing a window with thousands of germs in the first place.
2 - YDI for being a Twerd.
3 - YDI for not being team Jacob.

#178 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:24pm by DecayDance

oshit. double posted O_O

#180 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:27pm by DecayDance

DUDE! This FML will only ever be acceptable if you are under 15 and mentally derranged.

#184 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:40pm by ScarHead

Anyone who would do something like this is a pretty sad and pathetic person. It's even more lame having to do with Twilight.

#185 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:48pm by Punkartmama

I can understand having a "crush" on a fictional character - they're written so that you will. The problem with a lot of die-hard Twilight fans is that they don't seem to get that Edward IS fictional. So, a PSA to OP and all other fans - Robert is not Edward, and Taylor is not Jacob. Please learn the difference, and please stop kissing your windows.

P.S. I would also recommend NOT trying to have sex with an icicle. That is all.

#188 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm by perstephane

Congrats! You're a fucking moron.

#190 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:53pm by zuli

YDI for licking a window,retarded twilight lover

#192 - On 11/27/2009 at 2:59pm by UselessName

When will people realize that Twilight is a horrible movie and should be thrown off the face of Earth? Along with all of the actors in it.

#196 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:04pm by Quinnjamin

Fail, chick needs to get a life

#200 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:22pm by teddymac20

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

how is that an FML??? thats funny :] i woulda done it

#203 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:29pm by gra_k

Haha, nice. I would've liked this more without the edward cullen thing though.

#204 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:29pm by smishsm0shh

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

FYL
Who cares if you kissed a window for a couple seconds?





(Watch as this gets Moderated)

#209 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:45pm by scateice

no. not JUST kissed a window. kissed a window to see what it is like to kiss a FICTIONAL character from a MOVIE that mental morons started a RELIGION called CULLENISM over. now do you see the ydi?

#232 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:58pm by pwnage79

They started a frikken religion? Well, fuckshit. (fuckshit is something I do. I say fuck and then immediatly after, I say shit. Shut up grammar trolls and go burn in hell.)

#286 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:19am by Tigg3r

Wow.......thats strange

#210 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:48pm by TheRetardTracker

Edward Cullen is an abusive, manipulative stalker asshole, and Bella is an idiot for not running the other way and getting a restraining order. Then again she has no survival instinct, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Some role model for young girls!

I can't believe idiots like the OP take shit like Twilight seriously.

#212 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:53pm by MURPHYCHACHO

I agree, all the warning signs of an abuser are there. http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/signs.htm

#223 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:01pm by insinuendo

Wow, Pathetic much ?
You deserved it, No question.

#214 - On 11/27/2009 at 3:56pm by raaaaaachel

Wow now that is sad. Seriously, Edward Cullen is a fictional character. Get over it.

#215 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:02pm by nzl

YDI for liking twilight in the first place

#216 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:08pm by makaylax3

YDI for being creepily obsessed with a character in a book.

#217 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm by lexiskies

C'mon everyone, let's get a chant going-

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once that gets old, we can switch to "Twitard."

#218 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm by Nakedsquirrel

How is this an FML?? OP, you were acting like an idiot, but instead of saying anything, your neighbour was kind enough to get you windex. You should be greatful for such a neighbour. Or is the FML here, "Today I was totally obsessed with Edward so I acted like an idiot"? In which case, why'd u add the part about your neighbour?

#219 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:20pm by Ella

OP, this is incredibly, inexpressibly creepy. Not because you seem to have some sort of obsession with a fictional character, but because you kissed a window to know what it would be like to kiss a corpse. That's right, Edward Cullen has cold, cold lips because he is a vampire, and doesn't have warm blood running through his veins. This is because he is a dead thing. OP, you kissed a window to know what it would be like to have the cold, dead lips of a corpse pressed to your own.
I just hope you don't expect the corpse to slip you any tongue.

#220 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm by Vayt

you're a total dork and you have severe mental problems

#222 - On 11/27/2009 at 4:58pm by hawkloverr

This was far too long.

It could have ended earlier:

"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML."

You're fucking creepy, too. If you want to know what it would REALLY feel like, kiss a dead body. Cheers.

#224 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:25pm by romaunts

YDI for liking that piece of shit Twilight.

#227 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:36pm by Lukas1051

Ok wow. I'm a twilight fan too but seriously... GET A REAL BOYFRIEND. Don't go kissing windows because first of all if u were a twilight fan you would understand that that's completely rediculous because of the descriptions in the book. I hate these damn stereotypes. NOT ALL TWILIGHT FANS ARE FREAKS!!! Thank you that's all. =]

#228 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:49pm by spazz666

i respects peoples oppinions. even if it is twilight. BUT YOU PPL TAKE IT TO THE FUCKING INSANITY OF EXTREME. DELETE THIS FML AND REPOST IT WHEN YOU GET PUT IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION!

#229 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:53pm by pwnage79

How is she supposed to re-post it if she's in a mental institution?

#360 - On 12/24/2009 at 7:09am by CannedSausages

It's funny when a crazy phase highlights the idiots in our population.

#230 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:57pm by CannedSausages

Wow. Seriously. I don't even know what to say to that.

#231 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:57pm by chyeaitskim

you are straight up pathetic...Edward Cullen..seriously?? get a life

#233 - On 11/27/2009 at 5:58pm by Breeneefml12

Twilight and window make-out sessions aside, what kind of moron would ever clean a window with their tongue?

Congratulations, you went out of your way to make your neighbor think you're one kind of an idiot instead of another.

I wouldn't give you Windex, I'd let you pick up whatever bacteria you get and leave it at that.

#234 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:12pm by cherylface

He seemed to have bought your story... so your plan did work.

I would agree that it was a bit of a silly thing to do... much like some people kissing posters and cardboard cut outs... but it's nothing that warrents the extreme berating you've recieved. The anti-twilight fangirls/fanboys are always just as ludicrous and psychotic as the actual twilight fangirls/fanboys.

May I note that these would not be terms to describe people who merely like or dislike the films/books, simply the terms to describe those that take these two to the extremes.

#235 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:13pm by Princess_Star

I'm gonna go with troll on this one

#236 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:15pm by Chopramen

That was a nice idea--I hope it brought you to a conclusion that dating Edward Cullen would be unenjoyable, to say the least.

Oh, and I am glad your neighbor fell for your cover-up. Otherwise you would have been subjected to berating IRL to the similar extent that you got here.

To the 236 comments before this one: Twilight may not be good literature, and people can interpret it incorrectly, but that doesn't entitle you to post flame comments.

#237 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:24pm by xenomorph

This comment has been moderated.

#238 - On 11/27/2009 at 6:46pm by largo

i have to say, i'm a huge fan of twilight saga, but not the movies, the books, the movies themselves are completely idiotic with very bad acting. as well, you need to get your head out of a fantasy world, its' not real, just becase you saw it on the tv

#240 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:00pm by magypsy

you SAD SAD SAD person!!!

id beat you if i knew you

#241 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:10pm by bottomwaffle

you're a sad, pathetic loser and Robert Pattinson is NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE

#244 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:23pm by xxERINxx

How is kissing a cold window like kissing fucking Edward? Three things. Scott Speedman is hotter. You probably got your tongue stuck to the damn window. Thats how the people saw you. And finally...GET A FREAKING LIFE!!!


Slim Shady all the way bitches!!

#246 - On 11/27/2009 at 7:31pm by xnoitorax

1) that was a pathetic thing to do
2) if you had to be that pathetic, why not just kiss the inside of the freezer door or something? Just as cold and more privacy.

#248 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:16pm by LilaBear

*gasp* I do that to!!!!!!!!!

#249 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:27pm by lilMissBillieJoe

Instantly hit the YDI button when my eyes read "Edward Cullen"

#250 - On 11/27/2009 at 8:29pm by Pablothe

You deserve it for being a Twihard fan.

#253 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:00pm by letthemxeatcake

For everyone's sake, I hope you're a troll. I really do.

#254 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:04pm by Fabby

Stupid Twitard...

#255 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:25pm by IAmBridgette

YDI for liking that shitty book series.

#256 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:42pm by remy_xi

Marrajane is the most rational person on here. Seriously. I agree with you ~ while I admitedly read it and enjoyed them just as everyone else on this planet did, I am not going to sit here and fling myself in front of a bus because I have no chance with Edward. Because I know and accept the fact that he is NOT REAL and a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Some people are just sick, pathetic people (ie; OP)

#258 - On 11/27/2009 at 9:59pm by caligal14

Um, no. Not everyone on the planet enjoyed the books.

Stupid people enjoyed the books.

People who have an idea of what real literature is recognized that they were just as crappy as The Da Vinci Code.

#262 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:34pm by capthavoc123

Thanks for that. =]

#262, I respect the fact you didn't like the books, that's your prerogative. I don't think they're the epitome of literature, however, I do find them to be a guilty pleasure of sorts. I tend to read a lot of different works from a lot of authors. If you were to look on my bookshelves, you'd find Emily Brontë, Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, J.R.R Tolkein, C.S Lewis, Anna Sewell, George Orwell, James Baldwin, J.G. Ballard, Truman Capote, Agatha Christie, Jonathon Swift, Jane Austen, Albert Camus, H.G. Wells, Arthur Conan Doyle, Jules Verne, William James, Aldous Huxley, William Burroughs, Edmund White, Isaac Asimov, Mark Twain, Ray Bradbury, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Leo Tolstoy, James Joyce, Edgar Allen Poe, Proust and a large number of others, yes, including Stephanie Meyer. Just keep that in mind next time you label all Twilight readers as stupid. I doubt you'd recognize a lot of the names on my shelves.

#333 - On 11/29/2009 at 10:31pm by marrajane

You + Cliff - Balance = Me + :D

#259 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:03pm by Six_and_the_Moon

.


"to see what kissing edward cullen would be like"??????

f.u.



.

#260 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:27pm by JohnnyOnTheSpot

i think #259 just nailed how the rest of us feel about ur ridiculous behavior OP

#261 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:30pm by ziqi92

I HOPE this is fake. If not, you need to die. This is beyond pathetic.

#263 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:37pm by Twin_Uzis

Not every single person who likes twilight is a pathetic and obsessive little fangirl- I happen to like twilight but I don't obsess over it AT ALL and I make fun of it too, because the concept is pretty ridiculous. but kissing a frozen window??? that is beyond obsessive, that is deranged and quite frightening as well. Edward is not real, neither are any of the other characters. don't waste your time on a creepy fictional vampire who sparkles.

#264 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:52pm by auds23

HAHAHAHA....You suck but twilights awesome

#265 - On 11/27/2009 at 10:53pm by jazzberry

i love twilight...but come on....LOSER!!

#268 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:45pm by tballer33

Why? Just...why?

#269 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:48pm by TheOfficial

I love the Twilight saga, I'll admit it. However, it's people like the OP who make us all look bad! Get your head out of your ass and wake up to reality! Edward isn't real. Even if he was real, he probably wouldn't kiss you because you're creepy. Please get a life.

#270 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:50pm by ericalew_xo

You are sad and lonely and need an actual relationship not some 14year old girls masturbating material

#271 - On 11/27/2009 at 11:58pm by sorrysweety

There are some people who really make me lose faith in all humanity and the concept of logic. You are one of them.

#272 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:00am by largo

Wow. Just, wow. Get a life

#273 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:04am by jelsew

You are a fucking moron you dim-whitted dipshit! YDI and so much more for reading Twilight let alone liking it. Pick up a real book.

#274 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:07am by helpmeiamblind

Who the FUCK licks windows??! REALLY? wow. this is just. wow. how sad. i have lost ALL faith in humanity. Oh dear God.

#276 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:32am by eMo_gurll200

I'm glad someone besides me focused on the more bizarre part of this story.

Whatever, you pretend to kiss whoever you want, but then covering it up by licking the window?!

#281 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:35am by cherylface

lol no problem. who knows maybe next week we'll get an FML saying that they kissed an oven to see what kissing jacob black would be like. now THAT would be epic. and i would laugh. very hard.

#335 - On 11/30/2009 at 12:50am by eMo_gurll200

It seems like every girl who likes Twilight thinks that vampire dude is real. That is just sad beyond all reason...

#278 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:14am by jkcmutch

Twilight sucks. Period. End of discussion.

#282 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:46am by Panther

Youre right OP FYL. Cause you're obsessed with an IMAGINARY guy. WHO GLITTERS!  Y'know like idk GAY GUYS!

#284 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:52am by Soulathyia

You're a sad person. Good luck finding someone real.

#285 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:18am by Mcmaster

The OP is a complete tool, and twilight is gay as hell.

#287 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:47am by PFCAngelo

A life; you need one.

#288 - On 11/28/2009 at 3:41am by 2Low

I'm assuming you won't mind if I cut your brakes?

#289 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:15am by Ninjaface

I have NEVER EVER seen so many comments on an FML within the first 24 HRS of the FML being posted. OP your story really got people talking.

#291 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:39am by QTp13

If this is a fake FML, kill yourself. If it is real, kill yourself.

#292 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:44am by Emperor_Jim

just kill yourself. RIGHT NOW!!

#293 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:45am by blooregard

when I read Edward Cullen I set up iMacro to click YDI 10 times a second, for a whole hour

#294 - On 11/28/2009 at 5:28am by d4m4s74

Strictly speaking, wouldn't Edward actually be room temperature?

#295 - On 11/28/2009 at 5:57am by Draq

you are fucking retarded.

#296 - On 11/28/2009 at 6:07am by awesomeryan17

hahahahah I LOVE how all the pro-twilight posts are getting buried :D
yes, OP, you are a retard.

#297 - On 11/28/2009 at 6:36am by thumb_biter

just the first sentance is an fml

#298 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:21am by fotc77

why would Edward Cullen be that cold?

#299 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:23am by fotc77

YDI. what a loser.

#300 - On 11/28/2009 at 9:04am by no1willknow88

this fml sounds fake. if this is real, this is the most stupid I have ever read and that was really patheic. and responding to the ither cmments not every teenage girl likes twilight.


I hate twilight.

#301 - On 11/28/2009 at 9:39am by blackberry1993

What a retard. Really? I don't get why all these stupid Twilight fans are that obsessed. Fine to love it, but really? Idiot.

#302 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:14am by Wolfie07

WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT EDWARD CULLEN?!?!?! He moves fast, sparkles, and doesn't kill. Vampire? Try fairy.

#304 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:19pm by Games4me

No offense (and trust me I've been in your shoes), but first of all, Twilight is a good book, not reality. If you treat it like reality, you'll just make it look even more pathetic. Second of all, Edward Cullen is not real. You will never meet an icy, masochistic vampire, so its really useless to even try to pucker your lips at a window. And since there's over a billion guys in the world, I'm pretty sure you'll meet someone better than Edward Cullen (I know I have). Lastly, you never know what germs could be on a window, and you should really thank your neighbour for bringing you back to the real world, where windows aren't drop-dead-gorgeous guys.

#306 - On 11/28/2009 at 12:58pm by la_lol

@304... rofl!!!! dude u are awesome, that made my day.

#307 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:02pm by Relentless113

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

SHUT UP IF U THINK EDWARD IS HORRIBLE HE IS A PERFECT GUY!!!!! AND I LOVE TAYLOR LAUTNER BUT EDWARD IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ANY OF U COULD EVER BE!!!

#308 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:44pm by Megantilby

You forgot the part where he's not real.

Enjoy your life as a bitter spinster.

#312 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:57pm by The_Nothing

Good luck ever getting with a real man. Have fun masturbating to that piece of shit you call a book for the rest of your life.

#328 - On 11/29/2009 at 2:12pm by jbird612

plus, he sparkles. so lets review. A. he's not real. B. he sparkles. anything else you'd like to go over?

#347 - On 12/01/2009 at 12:50am by eMo_gurll200

I liked Twilight up until people started freaking out about it. I'm reeaally burnt out on it.
Your best bet is to stop obsessing over a book and fictional characters and to actually focus on REAL people. And to also use some of that windex, 'cause your window probably has a bunch of weird smears on it and that's kind of nasty.

#309 - On 11/28/2009 at 1:47pm by LetxGoxOfxMe

hahaha!!! that seriously just made my day. stupid 12 year old girls...

#310 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:20pm by saruhbee1991

YDI for being obsessed with a fictional boy.
YDI for not even attempting to get a real boyfriend and being hung up on a fictional dude.
YDI for being a Twitard.
YDI for not realizing that Twilight is crap and Edward is an abusive stalker.
YDI for wanting to be Bella.
YDI for thinking kissing a window would be anything like kissing a person.

This is not an FML because the only thing wrong with your life is you being an dumb idiot and becoming obsessed with someone who's not real. It's your own fault now GTFO this site OP.

#311 - On 11/28/2009 at 2:56pm by The_Nothing

Hellz ya! Fuck her! Stop getting fucking fat and maybe you could get a real boy friend!

#315 - On 11/28/2009 at 4:23pm by Jman1906

As soon as I read the first sentence, I clicked YDI. EDWARD IS NOT REAL, Twilight sucks, and anyone with sense would rather drink that bottle of Windex than kiss a creeper like Edward. Also, kissing someone is NOTHING like kissing a window. Idiot.

#316 - On 11/28/2009 at 7:58pm by sarah2144

I couldn't help but laugh at your stupidity.

#317 - On 11/28/2009 at 8:28pm by notabot

This comment has been moderated.

#318 - On 11/28/2009 at 9:27pm by Special_K3

I'm sorry, but this is probably one of the dumbest things I've read on this site, you're a freaking idiot.

#319 - On 11/28/2009 at 10:28pm by supergamer94

you know what...FYL not only for actually kissing a window....but having the audacity of posting about it KNOWING you would get harrassed, btw youre neighbor didnt give you the windex to clean with, he meant for you to drink it

#320 - On 11/28/2009 at 11:24pm by RaspyMatches

Twilight is a terribly written book that teaches girls that lust is love, and that the dysfunctional "Love" between Bella and Edward is a good thing. The "Vampires" In the books are sparkle pixies, and Bella is an annoying over dramatic ditz.
YDI for thinking a twilight character is 1) real or 2) worth even thinking about, and for kissing a window and thinking it would be like kissing a person.

#321 - On 11/29/2009 at 12:28am by Kokihi

that's BS

#324 - On 11/29/2009 at 4:21am by Zac555

FUCKING TWILIGHT IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF NOW...'nuff sed

#325 - On 11/29/2009 at 8:26am by Tazn1991

Wow, really? You kissed a window? I hope tht tht window is on like the third from and you fall out of tht window, hopefully on the same piece of glass tht you kissed, and you die (: Tht, my friend, would be a major WINNNN. And #283, awesome (:

#327 - On 11/29/2009 at 11:45am by Gabii_Vengeance

I hope you die, preferably now so that you can't procreate.

#329 - On 11/29/2009 at 7:29pm by hypoxxia

Now you know how it feels to kiss Edward, you should turn on the cooker and kiss the hob to find out what it's like to kiss Jacob.

Seriously you are an idiot...

I really enjoy reading the books and am currently midway through breaking dawn. The books are fantastic, the movies (so far) are ok. But alot of the fans are insane and REALLY need to see a therapist O_o

#330 - On 11/29/2009 at 8:06pm by epanssereves

YDI because you referenced Twilight.

#332 - On 11/29/2009 at 10:03pm by halfpastdead

you are a sad sack of shit OP.

#334 - On 11/29/2009 at 11:37pm by Cynikul

Why hasn't someone made an FML account under the name of EdwardCullen to troll these people?

#337 - On 11/30/2009 at 3:32am by RigChan

"Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like."
YDI you silly little bint.
Plus, if your window was not sparkly and a raging homosexual with stalker tendancies, then it was nothing like Edward Cullen.

#338 - On 11/30/2009 at 8:19am by Brey1013

Damn i was hoping for a "lips getting stuck" story. But seriously? That was your excuse??? X$ YDI

#340 - On 11/30/2009 at 10:52am by slyace

Darn fangirls.

#341 - On 11/30/2009 at 12:52pm by ObadiahtheSlim

Ugh, this sickens me. Go kiss the business end of a wood chipper, OP.

#342 - On 11/30/2009 at 12:57pm by NrthrnLghts

Ok...if the OP had just posted, "Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. FML," then that would be appropriate. Other than that, its just a FAIL. Thei life is fucked by their own doing.

#343 - On 11/30/2009 at 5:05pm by Rael

He is a fictional VAMPIRE that SPARKLES. HE JUMPS OVER TREES. how much more unreal can it get? dont kiss windows. you look/sound like an idiot. just don't. ok?

#344 - On 11/30/2009 at 7:05pm by eMo_gurll200

This is what Twilight does to you
if this is true, you deserved it.
if not, then the lols procceed

#345 - On 11/30/2009 at 7:10pm by MisterComedy

what a fucktard

#348 - On 12/01/2009 at 1:18am by OhLawd

Wtf is wrong with you. Firstly, twilight sucks, and the dude who play edward IS UGLY AS ALL HELL so wtf! Maybe your just an obese cow who doesn't have a life like every other twilfag.

Congratulations! You offically fail at life. Now go jump off a bridge and end your nonsensual fanism. [yes I know thats not a word.]

#349 - On 12/01/2009 at 9:05pm by Bananasrawk

kiss frozen dog shit

#350 - On 12/02/2009 at 2:21am by lold

Ahhh, pastry faced creeper lover.. I pity you not.

#351 - On 12/03/2009 at 1:00pm by quantumglow

bahahaha window licker

#352 - On 12/04/2009 at 2:33am by Thhe

Okay first of all, this is absolutely pathetic. You can love Edward Cullen all you want, but are you seriously going to pretend to kiss a fictional character, with a window?!?!

And second of all, everybody that is hating on Twilight obviously has not read the books. Its not all about the movies, the book are a lot better than the movies and people seem to forget that the books every existed. Give them a chance before you go and say that Twilight is crap, because it really isn't. Obviously people like this girl take it to a whole new extreme, but not everyone does.

#353 - On 12/06/2009 at 11:35am by dancerjrm9

Umm the books are fairly crap. Sure they're enjoyable, but badly written with hardly any likeable characters.

#355 - On 12/08/2009 at 9:17am by Apocalyptus

I have read the books and watched the movies and the books are WORSE than the movies. There are plot holes, grammatical errors and descriptions on Edwards beauty every fucking single page.

#358 - On 12/19/2009 at 10:20pm by Rainyy

I'm not sure there's anything I could write that would demean you more than your own post. Loser.

#354 - On 12/06/2009 at 1:35pm by DarthRant

So, I think you should drink that Windex. Yup, that whole bottle.

If you're a kid, you'll grow up and have a good and fulfilling life putting that poorly written garbage (it's poorly written, hard to believe as that seems) behind you.

But I suspect you're one of the screaming hordes of forty-year old never-been-kissed fat ugly bitches.

#356 - On 12/13/2009 at 8:38am by overmage

Virgin?

#357 - On 12/16/2009 at 9:40pm by supergamer94

God, I miss when Harry Potter was the craze with the teenage girls..... oh wait, no I don't. At least we've progressed past the point of fans running around in capes with horribly affected British accents.


Also, Windex is not *that* toxic, since the main ingredient (after water) is isopropyl alcohol. To be sure you should put some Clorox on your wish list and drink that as well. I have always believed in being thorough.

-Double D

#359 - On 12/24/2009 at 1:49am by DrunkDave89

would everyone like to stop slatin twilight? im pretty sure, bein one myself, that teenage girls dont read books because they have 'indirect speech' or 'dont say said after people talk each time'. id actually like to see you come up with a plot that good. no? didn't think so. i hope you enjoyed my little rant :)

#361 - On 01/06/2010 at 3:06pm by i_hate_radiators

and once again.... we will be remembered as the generation of the sparkly vampires and shirtless wearwolves... this obsession has gone too far... really its a story. it may have been cool and well written but its rather annoying hearing stuff. its okay though, we've all had crushes, we're not 13 forever.

#362 - On 01/07/2010 at 6:06pm by murphy22

wow...........pretending to kiss a fictional character....

#364 - On 01/21/2010 at 12:14am by nintenDX

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