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Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you totally deserved it (2663)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

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Sucker's life also sucks

n_london also deserved it

Comments

wise man

#1 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:03pm by Malika

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

HELL YEAH, GET YOURSELF A GOOD GUY WHO KEEPS YOU IN THE KITCHEN. MAKE SOME SAMMICHES.

#29 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:36pm by Duckasaurus

I want mine with mustard.

#32 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:42pm by JohnnyAppleseed

Get the boob job and a cook book and the boyfriend will come fairly easy.


Yet another example of money buying happiness.

#40 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:04pm by White667

lol @ #32

#41 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:05pm by maipinkbear

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.

Make mine with mayo. Lots of white, creamy mayo.

#65 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:30pm by Zhejan

Maybe it wasn't even directed towards her. Maybe he was just another old man wandering around giving advice on life to all the whippersnappers.

#68 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:33pm by violentturtle

Thats what i was thinking...but as most self conscious girls they have to take everything personally..again self-conscious girls not all girls

#85 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:20pm by Veritas143

Dang good advice. Unless you are a fat chick.

#103 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:17pm by FarSide

Always listen to those with experience.

#153 - On 10/13/2009 at 6:10am by popoman

Well, if you listen to him chances are you can get hooked up with some old rich guy. He kicks the buckets and leaves you with all his stuff..... haven't I heard this somewhere before?


Wise Man Indeed

#161 - On 10/13/2009 at 8:23am by andydawg8891

I agree with #40! Get the boobs and cook. GET THE BOOBS! Did i say get the boobs? and learn to cook, then you can get as many guys as it takes to satisfy you. Bukkake if you will

#168 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:40pm by donkey_hang_down

A small investment for a lifetime of happiness? Well worth it!

#178 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am by donkey_hang_down

...and i want you to do it naked

#182 - On 11/08/2009 at 3:05am by Chefaid87

A guy wants a girl with a boyfriend?

#87 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:29pm by fakkumairaifu

Exactly. We want most that which we cannot have. Nothing is more desirable than the unobtainable.

#101 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:13pm by sephirothyeti

This comment has been moderated.

#107 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:25pm by FarSide

Abso-fucking-lutely, #87! ;-)

#158 - On 10/13/2009 at 7:52am by moonlight_daze

..Although the desire for what you can't have tends to be even stronger for the female gender

#159 - On 10/13/2009 at 7:58am by moonlight_daze

hahahaha i guess you have to take it with a grain of salt

#3 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:05pm by trapiadora

He's old enough to where his sexist remarks make sense. 70 years younger and I woulda bitch slapped him with my metal-decorated bike gloves on.

#4 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:05pm by Luckster

Eh...my math sucks....60 years younger, excuse me.

#8 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:08pm by Luckster

I'm tired, so my brain isn't working too well today.

#11 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:10pm by Luckster

haha I'd smack a 16 year old for that comment as well :P

#16 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:13pm by Malika

She's saying the old man would need to be 60 years younger for her to slap him. This means he'd be 26 and she'd be 20. Makes sense.

#26 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:30pm by pdavila

There you go! You can be my brain for the day cause mine ain't working. XD

#30 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:36pm by Luckster

what the hell, that guy is such a douche. lol that was beyond disrespectful in so many ways.

#5 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:06pm by brendalovee_

OP you must live on the seacoast. This sounds like the crackerjack old folks that infest the area.

#6 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:07pm by jackkerouc9

Interesting.

#7 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:08pm by Daaniellee1234

Well isn't he an ass... I would have punched him and yelled "COOK THIS!" lol :)

Oh and don't worry about the boob comment, lot's of guys like small boobs :) you don't need surgery just to please some guys!

#9 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:09pm by Sun_Kissed18

Pffft that's what I'm sayin !!

What good are boobs anyway?
All you need is a mouthful...

;D

#56 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:19pm by ChronicFAIL

#56 is all kinds of fail.

#139 - On 10/13/2009 at 2:50am by Ughsucks

If by fail you mean win.

#160 - On 10/13/2009 at 8:21am by andydawg8891

thats all i want in a girl

#12 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:11pm by enders98

You want a girl that already has a boyfriend? Nice.

#17 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:15pm by DarknessAngel292

Meh, the cook book isn't that necessary...

#13 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:12pm by RataBlanca

So your neighbor is a sexist, pervy creep. Your life is not fucked though.

#14 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:12pm by noshitsherlock

he's the one that should get a boob job lol

#15 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:13pm by brendalovee_

The cookbook and the boyfriend were just him being polite. He saved the truth for last.

#19 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:20pm by dspadres

it actually sounds like pretty good advice to me...
lol

#20 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:20pm by melissa_10

Then make him a fuckin' sammich!

#21 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:22pm by Clitastrophe

perhaps one of the knuckle variety?

#36 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:53pm by lets_be_ian

Um, I don't know any woman who makes their perverted 86 year old neighbor sandwiches...

#69 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:34pm by Ohnothingreally

Well, I don't know about the boob job and the cookbook, assuming you didn't already know how to cook and apparently have not-so-big breasts, but the boyfriend part, uhh...

I bet that old man get's PRET-ty lonely sometimes, if you catch mah drift. ;)

#22 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:22pm by DrAwesome

Well, buried.
But I never thought that would happen.
I mean, plexico is like the FML God!
And Intoxicunt is his Goddess.

#70 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:35pm by Ohnothingreally

It was unmoderated.
And thank you! I want to be Hera. She's an awesome evil bitch. :D

#71 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:37pm by Intoxicunt

Exactly, and at least the old guy was honest, right?

#99 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:08pm by Inverted

plexico HAS amassed a few humourless enemies in his time. But I'm pretty sure his allies can provide a few more thumbs up (and faster) than the collective thumbs down of his enemies. :)

#111 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:49pm by an ally

Oh, btw, I meant "unburied" not "unmoderated". FML.

#113 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:57pm by Intoxicunt

Hahahaha. Ohh... The FML rulers have returned!
I miss our long talks. Even if it's only been a few days.

#130 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:39am by redbluegreen

He is made of win and lulz.

#24 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:24pm by DeathShad0

Sounds like sage advice to me.

#27 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm by ScaryyMary

Well - that is true to an extent. Knowing how to cook is a marvelous skill. Especially if you live by yourself. . . fast food is detrimental to the whole 'successful life' thing.

#28 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:34pm by myballs

Dam u got burn

#31 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:38pm by skatergirl21

Meh. He's 86, he'll be dead soon.

#33 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:47pm by Six_and_the_Moon

Ahh how raunchy the pearls of wisdom have gotten...
But you need a cook book for sure. Guys might want sex all the time, but food is the next best, if not the best, thing to give them =P

#34 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:49pm by CFR

Marry me?

#51 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:12pm by ChronicFAIL

He speaks sense.

#35 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:50pm by Dcvictorious

Tell him he needs 10 things to succeed in life
1-common sense
2-a penis
3-purple socks
4-hair
5-old shoe
6-a lamp
7-pants
8-a brain
9-balls
10-another penis
He should succeed now! :D

#37 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:55pm by scateice

There should be a character limit on replies too.

Just looking at this makes my face hurt.

#42 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:05pm by ChronicFAIL

amenn

#50 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:12pm by 123sploosh

"What about sexism makes it automatically wrong"? The fact that it's SEXISM, you idiot!

#52 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:12pm by iwadasn

#38 - Not everyone defines 'success' the same way, just throwin' that out there.

#53 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:13pm by bugmenotmofo

tl;dr

i think there should be a character limit, too

#54 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:15pm by misha1995

# 52 - He's saying what about the ADVICE makes it wrong. He's also correct, the answer is nothing. You're referring to what is wrong about sexism. Pay attention before you call people idiots.

#76 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:50pm by jBird

IIRC feminism is about giving women the choice to be a traditional housewife/mother or to go out and compete with men on equal footing in the workforce. Not everyone has to choose the latter.

#78 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:01pm by izomiac

This comment has been moderated.

#80 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:12pm by JohnnyAppleseed

Oh honey. You have much MUCH to learn.

Let's start by explaining everything that was wrong with your loaded statements, shall we?

First off, marrying into money does not appeal to everyone. Plenty of people, men & women alike, have aspirations, passions, and dreams in life. Perhaps your only aspiration is to substantiate your laziness by marrying someone rich so that you can continue to eat pizza & play Halo all day, and if so then that's great for you! But some people want make their own cash, be self-sufficient, and realize their passions. Also, not everyone wants to get married, so having a well-paying career & standing on your own two feet is ideal for some.

Also, your failed attempt at explaining why sexism/profiling/etc. is sometimes "right" was cute. Cute, but not educational, moving, or inspirational. It's true that Muslim men have been at the root of terrorist attacks in the past, but it's impossible & ridiculous to claim that they're the only ones who will do so in the future. One day, an Asian woman just might blow up a major political building, or hijack a plane, & then what happens to your faulty logic? Perhaps you should expand your mind a bit & not be suckered into a "Muslim men & ONLY Muslim men can be terrorists" mindset. This, folks, is an example of profiling that did nothing but to make the one doing the profiling look like a moron.

Now, on to your bit about "feminism". Actually, it's shocking AND hilarious how little about feminism you know. The last thing "hardcore feminists" (ah, such gentle words from such a broad mind) want is to marry into money because that just negates the entire purpose of adopting the feminist ideals. What feminism strives for is a world in which women can make their own money, be successful and rich, without having to rely on a man. Also, being rich doesn't necessarily mean being happy, as you so blindly seem to believe. It's wonderful that you'd want to marry a rich woman (hopefully one day you'll find one dumb enough to forgive you your blatant stupidity), but just because that is what you desire doesn't mean other people, men OR women, desire it as well.

As a woman, I would much rather keep a good-paying job, make my own fortune, & not become dependent on a man. Women are equal to men & should make the same wages, reach the same heights of success, and be treated with just as much respect.

Now, run on back to your banjo & perhaps if you're good your mama will let you milk the cow tomorrow!

#97 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:59pm by BlueberryPies

#97:
I think I'm in love.
Your comment summed up my entire thoughts on the situation perfectly.

#102 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:17pm by Intoxicunt

Thank you for the novel. |:

Nicely put, #97.

#114 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:57pm by xkat356

Pimpin88 baby! Trollin' down the street, smokin...

#115 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:07am by waterynuggets

I'm not even a lesbian, but for you baby, I would be.
Can we make little sperm-donor babies and live happily ever-after?
:)

#124 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:00am by Gefangene

Well what're you doing on here? Boob jobs don't just pay for themselves.

#39 - On 10/12/2009 at 8:56pm by haweb

Amen.

#106 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:21pm by Vaetrus

HE'S WRONG!

a blowjob will do actually.

#43 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:06pm by blland

the essentials for a woman, but he forgot a job

#44 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:07pm by velcroshoes

Marry me?

#45 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:07pm by ChronicFAIL

lol old people always know best. even if they're assholes. maybe take the advice?

#46 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:07pm by maipinkbear

is your neighbor hugh hefner  yeah i dont care about boob size. just HOLE size , the smaller and tighter the betterthis is my shocker emoticon 

#47 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:09pm by ladiesman14

Don't listen to that shit.

Boobs might get you the guys attention but if you want more than a glance, have a trait that sets you apart from every other Plain Jane (with boobs).

#48 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:10pm by ChronicFAIL

True all you need is power, a bit of creativity and financial security. He may be 'sexist' but there is truth in his words.

#49 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:11pm by cerebellum

when I first read this I thought the old guy wanted the boob job, cook book and boyfriend.

#55 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:19pm by ohsoichigo

Aww, don't listen to him! He only thinks that because all old women have their boobs to their knees, and you probably don't!

#57 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:20pm by South_Park_Shay

YDI for arguing against it

#58 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:20pm by epicwinmaster

the guy rocks. i mean imagine an oldtimer says that to you unbelievable

#60 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:20pm by youngboss

cooking is nice, it means you can save money since you won't be constantly spending money on nasty shit, like McDonalds.
boobs....only get you do far and instead of spending loads of money on those, you could always buy a nice push up bra and some low cut shirts
boyfriends....eh they can be useful at times but not a must have.

#61 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:24pm by feed_the_ducks

Couldn't have said it better myself hahahaha

#62 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:25pm by Honda288

So what? How did this ruin your life?

#63 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:27pm by Syn

YDI for not having big enough boobs!

#64 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:30pm by Jastin

To be fair, that's probably all his wife had back in the day. Minus the boob job, of course. Poor guy.

#66 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:31pm by Haitch

Isn't that what everyone needs?

#67 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:32pm by BadLuckTuck

Damn, you guys make me want a sandwiche.

#72 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:42pm by Patastic

Haha!!! Fml!!! Bastard

#73 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:43pm by Jen11

Shoulda punched him in the face and walked away, saying "looks like YOU need a nose job."

#74 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:43pm by Avenging_Angel

its nice to no that an 86 year old dude has been checking out ur boobs... tell him to get a life
actually, dont

#75 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:47pm by jessxoxo28

You should see if he's single

#77 - On 10/12/2009 at 9:50pm by Jen11

and rich!

#79 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:08pm by DoingItWrong

and half-dead. That's hawt.

#84 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:16pm by mercyFML

Mercy, are you being sarcastic? Cause half-dead IS hawt if he's rich.

#110 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:44pm by inthewill

boy you know it.

#121 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:49am by mercyFML

old people rock!

#81 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:14pm by skyeyez9

He's right. Hahaha!

#82 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:14pm by jamila123

Not really FYL, but he's an asshole.

#83 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:15pm by ThereWolf

I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD GO BACK TO /b/

#86 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:22pm by Madness006

natural boobs ftw.

#88 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:38pm by KiddNYC10

I THINK....OK GUYS I GOT AN IDEA....LIKE....LETS ALL GET SOME ICE CREAM :D

#89 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:39pm by scateice

lmfao I pressed save comment by mistake in that last sentence. wat I meant to ask was... what happened to intoxicunt and ireplywlyrics??

#91 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:47pm by KiddNYC10

I'm right here. I replied to plexico's comment up there. Go read. I don't get on much these days, but that will change soon enough.
And ireply is still here, just not on every FML.

#104 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:19pm by Intoxicunt

why are the numbers all scatered around and not in order?

#92 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:50pm by Erickchimp10

bcuz of replies durrr

#93 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:53pm by KiddNYC10

that man is made by wisdom and win, now all i have to do is post this on ED

#94 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:54pm by SS_Anon

With old age comes wisdom.

#95 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:55pm by cynicallysenecal

Where have you been Erickchimp? Under a rock?

#96 - On 10/12/2009 at 10:56pm by DeathShad0

I prefer small boobs, my theory is smaller the boobs, tighter the pussy.

#98 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:07pm by FlaminYawn

You don't want the pussy too tight or it will tear, and that would suck because of three things: You might have to pay. You won't have sex for a while. You'll have a crying chick on your back all the time.

#109 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:43pm by DameGreyWulf

....yea, cause that makes complete and logical sense
I think I recall learning in anatomy how the size of the breasts and the tightness of a girl's vag are completely dependent upon one another.
you're an idiot.

#126 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:05am by Gefangene

Sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

#100 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm by bigcrazymike

I need to meet this guy

#105 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:21pm by Prendergast

You definitely need a cook book. This is not a sexist statement, it is FACT. You want to eat don't you? THEN GET SOME DAMN COOK BOOKS.
Or you can eat ramen and canned soup all your life...


If nothing else, get a unique cook book and dazzle company with how totally awesome you are with the Czech cookies or something.

#108 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:42pm by DameGreyWulf

I love a woman who can cook, thats why hot women are called dishes. While I can cook I find a woman who knows her way around a kitchen as well as around life shows how capable they are.

#117 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:12am by AnalBottleOpener

It's hot when a guy can cook, too. You're right, it shows independence, and that's rad.

#131 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am by DameGreyWulf

Thank you Dame. I think its also sexy when women cook naked, but I'm a good old fashioned boy like that. LOL. But when people says its sexist when a woman has to be in the kitchen (mostly my mom and sister) I don't think that is the case. If a man demands the woman stay home and not have a life, then yeah. But a woman who is both powerful and independent, it just makes her having to rely on your or you relying on her that much more meaningful.

#142 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:22am by AnalBottleOpener

Bet he caused the Great Depression. Or at least in most women who know him. For all you know this is wisdom from the old country.

#112 - On 10/12/2009 at 11:56pm by RubixMonkey

Rudeness has no age limit.

#116 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:11am by mrose57

You know, some people pay a LOT of money for that advice! See? There ya go!

#118 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:18am by flinkpamingo

Ask him if he will sponsor your boob job.

#119 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:20am by LaceyPatrickson

do guys go for pure girls?

#120 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:43am by blondeychck7

For the record my boobs are a C cup!

#122 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:52am by amc4204

That's really sexist. :(

#123 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:53am by neverinmyfavor

i absolutely agree with this old man.. saying that all a woman needs to succeed is a pimp, a cookbook, and a boobjob is the most valid statement ever said.. the pimp will give you your multiple orgasms, the cookbook will help with your sandwhich making skills, and also maybe help you satisfy your pimp in bed, with something like a pourtugese breakfast, and the boobjob,? it means that you don't have to get a real job, you already have a nice boobjob (and perhaps be pretty decent at your blowjob and handjob)

#125 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am by atvarela

So... any luck with this 69 step program/

#141 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:15am by LaceyPatrickson

my girl doesn't need a cook book... because i cook better than any hoe that i will end up with.

but a boob job would be nice. ;)

#127 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:10am by ILoveAsianGirls

Happy to see that you respect your "hoe." :)

#129 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:29am by DarkJoy

hmm
well you could dress up like rachel ray (plus the boobs you could make fake ones yourself) and cook like her so finding a boyfriend would come easy :D perfecto!!

#128 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:23am by Jakester

make my dinner

#132 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:50am by suckmywangchong

Well, if you learn to cook and get a boob job, the boyfriend comes naturally

#133 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:51am by AlwaysRejected

Darn it, plexico stole my comment. I guess that's what I get for only checking FML on my phone in the middle of the night when I should be going to sleep; I don't exactly get one of the first comments.

#134 - On 10/13/2009 at 2:09am by Ninjaface

that guy is epic!

#137 - On 10/13/2009 at 2:31am by Mx_Rider

AntiChrist, we can't all be born from a spawn. People on Earth get old, not just redder like in hell.

#143 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:24am by AnalBottleOpener

Well he is sadly mostly right lol

#140 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:08am by Cristaderzi

how is that an fml? that's the best advice you will ever get

#144 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:42am by watrulokinatfool

I agree about the cook book and the boyfriend, you can't really enjoy a romantic night alone without someone there, unless you are a lesbian. Or you have a friend. Sharing dinner is a great way to get closer. Also maybe, a boobjob is like a blowjob, they play with the merchandise. So he is just saying you need to get a boy, cook some food, and let him go down on your boobs. A boobjob, like oral, but without the fishy taste.

#145 - On 10/13/2009 at 3:48am by AnalBottleOpener

So an old man has old fashioned views? What a shocker. This isn't an FML at all. Who the fuck cares? If this is the most sexist thing anyone has ever said to you, consider yourself lucky.

#146 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:01am by AndreaHatesYou1

What a sexist prick

#147 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:01am by feminist19

i think we all can learn a thing or too from this man.....jk

#148 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:17am by spyderman2190

Well one thing you could learn is how to spell. It's two, idiot

#150 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:23am by jdannyl

fake boobs are ugly as fuck

#152 - On 10/13/2009 at 5:53am by NathanKett

But you can use them as flotation devices.

#154 - On 10/13/2009 at 6:20am by AnalBottleOpener

Words to live by.

#155 - On 10/13/2009 at 6:53am by conan6

zhejan how can u like mayo?!? i hate mayo :\

#156 - On 10/13/2009 at 6:54am by Bredynamite

Oddly, if you have 2 good ones of any two of those, you don't need the third.

Think about it.

#162 - On 10/13/2009 at 9:40am by kukopia

hahahah lol

#163 - On 10/13/2009 at 9:51am by Yeyo_23

what sucks is that he was probably right

#164 - On 10/13/2009 at 10:10am by heyasiaaa

I agree.

#165 - On 10/13/2009 at 11:32am by HotSauce

In your case you need to grow up, start thinking for yourself, and stop posting pathetic things like this.

#166 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:02pm by containsnosoy

YDI for having tiny boobs!!

#167 - On 10/13/2009 at 12:35pm by pearldude729

He's 86. Who gives a fuck what he thinks?

#169 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:15pm by quivx

Meh. Why complicate things unnecessarily? All you REALLY need is a cookbook. Actually, any decent-sized book will do. Then all you have to do is follow this simple scheme:

1) Clobber helpless old man over the head with a heavy book
2) Steal all his stuff
3) PROFIT!

NOTE: The poster of this comment does not actually advocate assaulting helpless old men (or anybody, for that matter). Don't try this at home.

#170 - On 10/13/2009 at 1:55pm by Eltsc

I'd rather collect underpants for the sake of profit.

#171 - On 10/13/2009 at 2:31pm by RataBlanca

Yes, but step two is a bit problematic...

#179 - On 10/14/2009 at 3:47pm by Eltsc

Wow. Your neighbor needs to go to a mental hospital or...he knows what he is talking about..

#172 - On 10/13/2009 at 4:28pm by Imaninja14

.

#177 - On 10/14/2009 at 11:17am by donkey_hang_down

I prefer a beer

#173 - On 10/13/2009 at 6:32pm by DoctorFoxyNo1

that might have been true WAY back in his day but a glance around tells me that these days more guys run away once they get a taste of what it's like to be a "family man" and the state, who then has to help provide for the children doesn't care about boob jobs and cook books

#174 - On 10/13/2009 at 9:43pm by jillz

This is hardly a FYL. It was just some old and old-fashioned guy being a dick.

Boobs are overrated. I'm B32, and I get all the guys with repressed lolita complexes! And a cookbook is good for anyone.

#175 - On 10/13/2009 at 9:52pm by Emriss

I guess he ment to say CoCk book

#176 - On 10/14/2009 at 6:32am by mrzero

You may want to get some self esteem too so that you don't have to take offense to what an old man says to you.

#180 - On 10/14/2009 at 4:31pm by emilbaca

you shouldnt be talking. maybe you shouldnt comment on someone elses self esteem, cuz if youre posting a comment like that.. what does that say about your self esteem? hmm.

#181 - On 10/23/2009 at 8:06pm by bayleesaije

LOL @ your sexist, son of a bitch neighbor

#183 - On 01/05/2010 at 7:52pm by plug_in_baby69

The worst thing is, he's kinda right.

#184 - On 01/22/2010 at 1:06am by fuzz97

how dies he know how your food taste :-O I'd be scared

#186 - On 02/22/2010 at 4:44am by emo_fail_child

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