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By :( / Sunday 31 July 2016 04:18 / United States
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By  TweetAnne  |  13

That is so sexist. If you want to learn how to cook then learn but if you're not interested then that's fine too. I took cooking classes before going to college since I refused to live off ramen. It's good skills to have but doesn't mean you need to use them every day. Married now and I cook few times per week and take turns with my husband making meals.

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  Erfun_RS  |  8

You serious? Are you actually saying that she should break up with her boyfriend and 'chop her mom out of her life' just because they don't like OP's cooking?

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  bobcatting40  |  5

So true Erfun_RS, the guy who commented this should be deeply ashamed of himself/herself. I'm so disgusted.

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Um, I'm pretty sure he was being semi sarcastic, hence the wordplay. Also, he's not saying to chop them out of her life because they don't like her cooking, it's because they're being sexist assholes that think a girl needs to cook in order to be desirable. Why would you want to stay with a guy, or be around a person, even your own mother, who doesn't love you as you are, and says such outdated things?

By  Sometime  |  6

Just keep practicing and experimenting with your food until they begin to like it, it will be a good opportunity to get creative too

By  kangx1  |  28

Well then better get cooking xP

By  polsen4273  |  8

My coworkers mother used to tell his daughter when she was young that her husband would beat her ifshe didnt learn how to cook. Lol. Seriously though, a bj is better than a sandwich, if you're good enough at that he will learn to cook himself.

By  alicecooperfan  |  18

Have your boyfriend help you learn how to make food you're both interested in! You can make a date night out of it and cook and enjoy your meal together. I do this with my BF once a week because we can't cook and it's a lot of fun! Good luck, OP!

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  frankmz  |  17

The problem or issue here is not that OP is not good at cooking "yet." The problem is that OP's mom and OP's boyfriend both agree that if OP does not learn how to cook she will never get married. The mom can say what she will about her daughter but for OP's boyfriend to agree shows how immature he is and the mentality he has that OP needs to be a good cook in order to marry him or any guy for that matter. That's very wrong of him to think that way.

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

It's also very wrong of the mom as well. She shouldn't get a free pass to disrespect someone she supposedly cares about.

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  AssCancer  |  5

They're probably not serious about it, I really don't get how the fml community always has a giant pole up there butt holes, never can take jokes, not to mention to massive anti theistic vibe of everyone on the app

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  tarlax  |  11

How is being "anti-theistic" even related to not appreciating certain jokes? It's pretty hilarious how you're bitching about that, given how you (or someone else with your idiotic username) were calling irreligious people "gaytheists" a few days ago. You might want to pay more attention in English class instead of mentally jerking yourself off to your religious persecution fantasy.

By  TweetAnne  |  13

That is so sexist. If you want to learn how to cook then learn but if you're not interested then that's fine too. I took cooking classes before going to college since I refused to live off ramen. It's good skills to have but doesn't mean you need to use them every day. Married now and I cook few times per week and take turns with my husband making meals.

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  lantz4levi  |  19

This is not sexist. At all. Op could just be a really bad cook and only be able to make pb&j. Secondly most households split the cooking roughly 50/50 or try to. There is no way this is sexist

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Are you serious, you don't think this is sexist? It's absolutely is sexist, it's sort of equivalent to saying "a woman who doesn't know how to cook is a useless woman," or "get back to the kitchen where you belong." Her mother basically said that she isn't desirable as a girl because she doesn't know how to cook, and that she will never get married because of it, and on top of all that, her asshole of a bf agreed. This IS a sexist thing to say. If the mother wasn't being sexist, she would have said "hey, maybe you should learn how to cook better since it's a good skill to have." Also, why did she just focus on her daughter? The boyfriend is just as capable of cooking. Also if he doesn't know how to cook, is he never going to get married either?

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  doemetoch  |  28

The not being able to get married thing is obviously sexist bullshit, but I wouldn't say learning how to cook is entirely optional either. It's just a basic life skill any adult, regardless of gender, should learn at some point. So OP, fuck your mom's comment, but please do learn how to cook at least somewhat decently.

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  TheShlongDong  |  4

Telling her she should learn to cook is NOT sexist, telling her that she won't be married because of it is, but most households will split it fifty-fifty and I'm sure that the bf won't want to cook all the time, and when she cooks eat a shit mean. Plus cooking is a wonderful thing!!!

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  lantz4levi  |  19

Something screams feminist out of you. No way is this sexist. The only reason it's sexist is because you made it about sexism. If you read it like I did, you would read it as she sucked at cooking and couldn't boil water right. Y'all see it as the 1920s.

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  ThatOneChick856  |  35

You're completely missing the point #29. Everyone here is agreeing that lead in how to cook well is a valuable (and necessary) life skill. The issue is with the fact that they're practically telling her that no man will love her if she doesn't perform her "natural womanly role" well. AND if it WAS about "learning to cook with your partner will help strengthen a relationship", then the mom should've approached both the bf AND op about how she thinks it'd be good to talk classes together and finding recipes they both like instead of coming at just OP. If they approached her saying that they're worried for her well-being and that she should learn how to cook healthy foods well, then I'd be right on board with the BF and mom. But instead, they're saying that the main reason she should learn to cook is to please her man, which is not why ANYONE should be learning basic life skills. They should do it for themselves.

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"You will never get married if your cooking skills don't improve," how do you not see the sexism there? It's like telling a guy "you will never get married if you don't start earning more money than your gf," or "you will never get married if you don't learn how to fix a car." It's sexist because apparently desirability is contingent on learning this skill. They can't love her for who she is, they can't love her based on how good she is as a person. No, the only way she will get the commitment of marriage is if she learns to cook, because apparently that's better than everything else. Also, so what if I am a feminist? I believe in equal rights and treatment between the sexes, and for everyone. I believe in getting rid of outdated and ridiculous gender standards. The horror!!

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  Rabite  |  19

Most households will so not split 50-50. There is enough research stating that even if people think they do it 50-50 they are not objectively. And the same research says that the women do more.

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Commenter #10/33 doesn't have a friggin clue what sexism is so there's no point arguing with him. Soon he'll break out the NUH UH defence while plugging his ears and shaking his head...

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How is it sexist? My girlfriend is shit at cooking and I won't marry her until she improves at least a little. Mind you I do all of the cooking. I just want to be able to have her cook dinner without me finishing it for once. Not necessarily sexist

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  OGMichael  |  9

Or it's a basic life skill everyone should learn? You don't have to be a fucking michelin chef but at least have the basics so you can take care of yourself. Jfc all the sensitive sjw on this app give me cancer.

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  GhostFox  |  33

The people that are saying this isn't sexist... I don't think you understand something called "culturally normalized sexism." The SEXIST part isn't that they said OP should know how to cook, it's the way it was said. Not only did they imply BOTH imply that women are supposed to be the cooks of a relationship, but OP's boyfriend flat out stated that he wouldn't marry OP until/unless she learned to cook. Which means he may as well have said that unless OP learns to cook, she's just someone that he is using for the sake of being in a relationship to access the 'perks' of one. Which is essentially saying that OP's value as a woman is determined by her ability to cook. Which is most certainly sexist.

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How is it sexist to want a partner that has certain skillsets? Expecting people to be attracted to you just because you exist, without you having much in the way of redeemable qualities or habits is essentially an entitlement mentality. If you show up for a track meet and all the others run much faster than you would you expect to make the team just because your mom told you all your life that you're special? Give it a rest, she should try stepping her game up, increasing her skillsets (incl. cooking skills) and just be an all around good human being.

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It isn't really sexist. It isn't about gender. Cooking is an important life skill for everyone. I wouldn't marry a woman who couldn't cook either, but that is about practicality, not cultural sexism. If my SO can't cook, then I am going to be stuck doing all of the cooking, and that isn't how a partnership is supposed to work.

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  KrDizzy  |  14

Some people just aren't good at cooking, just like how others aren't good at math. Just because she's a woman, doesn't mean she naturally knows how to cook. Looks like you're doing her the favor by not proposing lol.

By  Sofia94_fml  |  12

My mom tells me that everyday and I actually do know how to somewhat cook, but it's not "perfect housewife material" so I won't make a good daughter-in-law either. Forget that I'll be working at an office more than 12 hours a day , probably even more than my future husband, but that doesn't matter since in our culture it's the woman's responsibility to put food on the table for her man -_-. I've had my cousins (one boy one girl) girl has to do the housework while the boy plays video games and they're the same exact age (twins)! Also their mom and grandma are the ones who put food on the table and the mom works just as much, if not more, than the husband to earn money and he doesn't do any household work because he was taught from the beginning its not a man's job but the wife's. Sometimes it sucks to be Indian.

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  aausername  |  3

I was raised this way as well, you do what you have to to keep your man happy, or make his life easier. Sometimes things get passed on thru the generations..it's on us to change how we raise our kids. I'm Italian and at least in my family the men and women play very different roles..

By  lorenaflag  |  12

Your mom is totally wrong and your bf must be joking cause the man of your dreams should love you the WAY YOU ARE and not the way you cook or take care of a house. That's how old people thought, and was so wrong. Study what you want (cooking, architecture or whatever), be a good person and you will get a guy will love you no matter what. I live with my bf and he is the one who cooks and washes dishes, I buy the groceries and clean the house, we have EQUAL part in the house and we live in a misogynist country (Peru). Be freaking strong! Who cares if you dont cook. You are not only that! You, as a person, are better that that!!!

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