Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9092) - you totally deserved it (31406)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
What she was trying to say was "If your schlong was longer, I could not get your hair stuck in my teeth".
Wait, wait, wait...
YOU GUYS DO UNDERSTAND THAT HER TEETH CAN ONLY GET CAUGHT IN HIS PUBES IF SHE GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN, MEANING THAT HE HAS A TINY PENIS.
it doesnt matter if his penis is small the thing that matters is where the penis goes ^.^
#124 - On 08/05/2009 at 4:41am by Moms_Bestfriend
i notice a lack of those people who were previously very anti female shaving/waxing in previous FMLs...
suddenly now that its a guy theres nobody defending him...why am i not surprised.
not that i disagree, shave it if thats what she wants. i stand by my statement regardless of the sex.
#48 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:37am by organisedchaos
hear hear #48!!
Double standards rule!!
personally if my gf doesn't shave i won't, even if she asks, unless she's willing to start shaving too, then i'll be fine
#68 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:27pm by genius_man16
Hopefully, not with the Lawn Mower he referred to O_o
That would be a tad painful!
#75 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:50pm by BrianA1993
I've never seen it this way. In those FMLs, the majority of people were telling her to shave... they didn't tell him to, just her. I've never heard the double standard put this way. It's usually the girls who do and the guys who don't, and the girls have to put up with it.
#87 - On 08/04/2009 at 4:25pm by spiltstars
Yeah, it usually is considered more gross when the girls don't shave than the guys.
Hairy balls look like old man balding, though lol
@OP: FYL because she didn't say anything before. Seriously, if she has an issue, then she needs to say so, or just not mouth your balls.
#94 - On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm by DameGreyWulf
#48 - My two cents: nobody's under any compulsion to do that, but *I* won't go down on a girl if she doesn't shave - my nose runs and I feel icky. Only part of her body I don't want hair to be, though. So it seems fair to me for the reverse to happen as well. If the hair is getting in your partner's way, then either remove it or expect them to stay away from it. If it;'s not, hey, do whatever.
#121 - On 08/05/2009 at 3:35am by regalarius
@121
thats the point...in the other fmls women argued against a woman shaving for her guy, and here there is nobody saying the guy shouldnt shave, so clearly those women have double standards as they seem to have no issue when gender roles are reversed.
so by saying he should shave and so should any girl youre just agreeing with my point.
#125 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:09am by organisedchaos
If I'm comfortable with the fact that my girlfriend doesn't mow the lawn, then why should I have to? I like that the OP is actually comfortable with himself as is and doesn't feel he needs to mow his lawn...well at least he was comfortable. That sucks for you OP, I hope all works out well for you.
your preferences in her pubic hair are different than her preferences in your pubic hair. if a guy is fine with me shaving or not shaving, whatever, but i'm still going to prefer that HE keep his trimmed for the same reason the OP's gf mentioned. do you know how awkward and disgusting it is to go down on a guy and have to stop because you got a big gnarly pubic hair caught on the back of your tongue?
#66 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:22pm by diet_otaku
I have had my fair share of nasty pubes stuck in my mouth going down on girls too. It goes both ways.
Shaving the beaver is not like shaving the boys. Women have NOTHING to loose, and hell, if you cut or nick it... so what? It's not like you are not used to bleeding....
But shaving around a wrinkled sack of balls is very serious business, and takes tremendous skill.
Is your life that uneventful that you have to inform your girlfriend about your chores? God.
Your short flash of embarrassment is won over by the fact that you're still getting head.
#7 - On 08/04/2009 at 6:41am by redbluegreen
REALLY? You need to learn to think outside the box... this FML TOTALLY makes sense in couple different concepts; the couple could have already been in the midst of a conversation and she might have asked him what he's up to... maybe they had plans to hang out but it had to be postponed because he had a chore to do. BESIDES, it's FUNNY. Let a little humor into your life, you'll live longer.
#44 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:01am by angelienie
haha, time to trim that bush. sucks for you. YDI for having a bush.
#9 - On 08/04/2009 at 6:48am by pinkishgirl
Some 12 year old here doesn't understand the reference...
#79 - On 08/04/2009 at 2:31pm by chinolatino
what if it was part of a longer conversation? she probably asked what he was doing or something.
#18 - On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am by quantum_insanity
Your weiner is very small for your "lawn" to get caught in her teeth.
#13 - On 08/04/2009 at 7:09am by WonderBlunder
This story can go 2 ways.
Either you REALLY need to shave those pubes of yours
or you girlfriend's a Goat
Either way, FYL man.
#17 - On 08/04/2009 at 7:26am by Rude_Girl_Ska
Two things, if that is all you have to speak to your girlfriend about I think you need a change, e.g. maybe a trim downstairs. Secondly, if that is the first thing she thinks about, you better trim it otherwise your not getting any head again.
Maybe she likes to eat the grass outside your house! No one ever considered that!
#22 - On 08/04/2009 at 8:13am by iFruit
Common courtesy, man. You have to figure there's a line between acceptable hair and unacceptable hair.
Sometimes, it's okay to clear-cut a forest....
Besides, there's really nothing to be bitching about. At least she still put your penis in your mouth. Stop your complaining.
#25 - On 08/04/2009 at 8:40am by nebjamin69
Yeah, at least she put your penis in your mouth you whiny baby.
#49 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:50am by deathbunny256
if she's putting his penis in HIS mouth, i think he's got bigger issues...
#67 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:25pm by diet_otaku
haha oops... I didn't even realize that.
That is definitely a shitty buzz.
FML
#92 - On 08/04/2009 at 5:22pm by nebjamin69
seriously, then trim down there. it's gross and it gets in the way when you give someone head and you get hairs in your mouth. you'd rather give it to her without any hair, right?
#31 - On 08/04/2009 at 9:26am by starvingxartist
I don't get those who criticize you for telling your gf that you're mowing your lawn. she calls, asks 'wacha doin'? You answer" I'm mowing my lawn" it's not as if everyone has to have brilliant topics of conversation on their mind at a moments notice. I think your life is fucked because she complains about your pubes. so what if they get caught. it's part of life. sheesh!
Why is that an FML? That's completely normal that each one in a couple has to change some things to satisfy the other one. Shave your bush and live happily ever after.
You make her go down on you and you leave a giant bush for her to gag on? YDI, for shame.
#35 - On 08/04/2009 at 9:51am by burnquist764
Who says he MAKES her do it? I feel bad for any girlfriend you have, for you thinking you can make her do something like that.
#38 - On 08/04/2009 at 10:13am by Cerataphora
That's retarded...she probably WANTED to do it despite the fact that he doesn't trim or shave because she...umm...LOVES him?!
#57 - On 08/04/2009 at 12:25pm by Puolukka
yeah bro u need to keep up on your manscaping more and your landscaping less.
#36 - On 08/04/2009 at 9:53am by _THE_MASTER_
Tells me two things: one, you really need to trim the pubes, and two, she clearly had her mind in the gutter, so i hope you did what she wanted and went and got some.
ydi for not shaving that bush. and that's kinda gross.
#45 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:18am by blackberry1993
I'm not sure how pubes are gross...they're natural. Anytime I see shaved pubes my first thought is that the person had crabs and had to shave it all. Or that they had chemo and lost them all. To my eyes, shaved pubes make me wonder about your health or make me wonder why you're trying to look like a little kid down there, which is just creepy. Yeah, I said it, I think shaved pubes are creepy. Especially if the guy has body hair everywhere else but shaved pubes...then it just looks stupid.
Plus, what is it with these "YDI for having a small dick" responses? How can a person help having a small dick? It's not like you can send it back or go out and get a replacement. There are penis-enlargement products out there but they're snake oil...they don't work. And dick size has little to do with how good a lover you are.
At any rate, if this guy's girlfriend wants him to shave, and he's willing, fine. But he shouldn't feel bad or embarrassed for having what nature gave him.
Are you one of those girls who never shaves any of her body hair because you believe its unnatural? There are so many things that humans do that can be considered unnatural, body hair should be the least of your worries.
For me shaven hair shows that a person groomed and taking care of themselves well.
#64 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:09pm by UncleverName_FYL
i don't shave to "look like a little kid," and i wish people would quit making that assumption. i don't associate a hairless pussy with a juvenile, i associate with proper hygiene. i shave that shit because it is AWFUL to deal with during a certain week out of the month and frankly i just don't like pubes. just because something is natural doesn't mean it can't be gross.
#69 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:30pm by diet_otaku
I feel like naked looks like a little kid too. However, hair in your mouth is nasty.
You don't have to shave it all off, you just need to trim it up so its not a jungle. Voila, you look old enough for sex but arnt nasty.
#70 - On 08/04/2009 at 1:32pm by willothwisp
Shaving and trimming are two different things. Maybe he just needs to breakout the scissors and trim a little. His girlfriend never said he needed to shave, just that his pubes were getting caught in her teeth...
I'm sure that the OP would prefer his girlfriend at least trim her pubes when he's going down on her, then for him to have to choke on her hair.
No, actually, I'm a guy. And I'm gay. And...well, let's just say I've never had complaints or people telling me to trim or shave.
But I've known a number of people who have lost their pubes because of one health problem or another, from crabs to chemo, so when I see someone with totally shaved pubes, I can't help but wonder exactly what they're suffering from. To me, it just looks unhealthy. Maybe that's just my individual reaction.
People have gone down on each other for centuries before this and only now are people saying that they need to shave. Or "trim." (We don't know what the OP's girlfriend wants.) This is a recent trend, and you can bet folks are making money off of it (like those folks selling "body trimmers"). I've heard people say that shaving "makes it look bigger" but looking bigger and being bigger are two different things...it's like padding your bathing suit. Sure, it may look bigger, but when it comes to the down'n'dirty, nothing's changed.
Plus, when the stubble comes in, that's a freakin' pain. Trimming is one thing, but total shaving is too much of a bother.
Spoken like a saint. It's not the size that counts; it's how it's used!
#142 - On 11/04/2009 at 5:31pm by scott_m319
hey manscaping shouldn't be outta the question... just keep it down there
#54 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:56am by Freed0mfr1es
Ew oh my god I'm gonna throw up. Pubes getting stuck in a girls teeth. (gag) But yeah, shave that shit if you know she likes to stick her mouth on it. If you don't want to then she should stop giving you blowjobs and you can just deal with it. Done and done.
Because its embarrassing and he just found out his gf finds his crotch gross?
Granted, its a simple fix.
Why did you tell her that, anyways?
Buuuut, yeah. ew. Trim that shit. It really does get irritating and inconvenient. Be considerate. At least you know she wants you to now, so its not all bad.
Just take care of it, and she'll enjoy going dowwwn even more. Maybe even do it more often. :)
Newsflash....EVERY guy has hair down there, unless they're children.
Plus shaving it is a problem because some guys have to shave it every day because the stubble is so uncomfortable.
And from what I understand, lots of girls like pubes, and a lot even like 'em untrimmed.
Why would you tell her that your mowing the lawn. That's like texting her at 11:00 at night:
I'm going to brush my teeth.
YDI
ya, why would you randomly text her saying your mowing the lawn? I call bull crap on this fml, srry. and also I always get rid of my lawn, its disgusting and its uncomfortably annoying
#83 - On 08/04/2009 at 3:00pm by xxstealthxx
Oh, wow.
Maybe she texted him and asked what he was doing?
I don't mind it at all when guys have hair down there.
YDI for not mowing YOUR lawn - because come on do we HAVE to remind u of that too
#86 - On 08/04/2009 at 4:15pm by notlovingit
Unless the grass in the lawn outside your house is really, really tall...
#90 - On 08/04/2009 at 4:59pm by Bombercules
I am male and trim my pubes, I don't shave them bald but a nice trim every so often is great, its not cool having a jungle down there.
ew your girlfriend is weird. i hate when guys shave their pubes, its gotta be the biggest turnoff ever.
every man should trim their pubs man, i mean it makes your dong look bigger too, lmao thats so funny that your girl said that though
Looking bigger doesn't actually make it bigger. It's like padding in a woman's bra...sure, they look bigger, but when you get down to it, it doesn't change a thing.
Caught in her teeth??? Either she can deep throat, or your little man is quite small....
#106 - On 08/04/2009 at 8:12pm by misterman2
I know this is probably a case of the OP's gf using poor word choice.....but caught in her teeth? Really? Am I the only one to notice that? The only way anything gets caught in your teeth is if you're chewing something. If she's really getting his pubic hair caught in her teeth then either the OP is in to some super kinky shit, or he has a bubble yum penis OM NOM NOM NOM lol (no homo) :D
#117 - On 08/04/2009 at 11:54pm by razzumfrazzum
#117 ....SO TRUE!!
how the fuck can it get caught in her teeth?????.... does she chew on your dick? Or has she got a bent set of teeth?
u need to dump that bitch
I bet you're glad you didn't tell her that you were cutting some wood.
#120 - On 08/05/2009 at 1:58am by doof_fisch
I don't think most men should trim their pubic hair, but still: how is this an fml? Now you know what she likes so you can choose wether or not you'll do it, right?
#129 - On 08/05/2009 at 9:52am by lettertjes
time to shave !
and why are you texting your gf about moaning the lawn?...
#136 - On 08/05/2009 at 7:52pm by laurie1094
Did you even think before texting that? Maybe you shouldn't have said that's what you were doing or else you get into "that's what he said!"
#138 - On 08/06/2009 at 2:01am by wellthatsucks
People, please, how can you possibly tell someone that you're mowing the lawn without risking it being misunderstood? Cutting the grass? Trimming the bushes? Landscaping? It sounds dirty no matter how you phrase it, so it obviously wasn't poor word choice; his gf's mind is just in the gutter.
And you can't really blame the OP for not trimming sooner, because it sounds like this complaint from his gf was the first he heard about it. It's an easy fix, though...
#143 - On 11/04/2009 at 5:38pm by scott_m319
soooooo. . . did you get the hint and shave them or what?
#144 - On 12/23/2009 at 5:02am by michelleyily
