Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
Touch crowd
Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML
Hello from the other side
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
The bed is lava
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
You BASTARD!
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Double whammy
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Top comments
mhc91 10
Then be a nice person and buy her more
Catkam623 27
For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.
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Comments (149)
mhc91 10
Then be a nice person and buy her more
michaelaranda 28
Yeah come on OP. Your the reason shes pregnant. Get her some cheese sticks.
Jdb60 5
Seems like a sticky situation. Sorry, but someone had to say it.
gdal8642 7
Make sure to always keep some on hand!!
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
25-- No one had to say it, no one SHOULD have said it, and you should feel bad.
buttcramp 21
cravings are a big deal when you're pregnant! I'd get some more but don't stock up cause next week it might be something else and the thought of cheese sticks may make her sick. It sounds ridiculous, and it is.. but us mommies really can't control it at the time it is happening. we can (and should) apologize afterward. just hang in there, OP. I know it sucks, but just be glad you aren't the one going through it and be supportive. congrats on the baby! I hope all will be well for you!
adrianh1090 12
She should have closed her legs don't you think?
MrsDruidess 23
yeah, be nice, grow a pair of balls and get her whatever the hell she wants within reason, and cheese sticks are well within reason. She has to push your child out of her lady parts, the least you can do is love and comfort her! Now quit bitching and get your ass to the store!
cryssycakesx3 22
did you just call yourself mommy.
themanboyguy 7
yeah she did.... your silly
Cadillac4427 8
#25....no....no one had to say it because its QUITE OBVIOUSLY AN overused pun.....its also the wrong FML for it. but the FML community will make sure to forgive the oversight. :)
honeymoonroyale 20
Nah, not exactly. If your comment isn't top notch or an awesome pun, it'll be down voted and buried. Quite sad.
dachayke 16
#58, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that most pregnant women don't lay on the floor sobbing because they're out of cheese sticks.
wellthen7154 12
It's just the hormones OP. Besides she could be doing something worse, or she could be like the girl in that other FML and wet herself while in your lap. Just be understanding and buy her some nice cheese sticks. After all, as someone mentioned a bit earlier, it was your stick that got you in that position, only the cheesiest of sticks can get you out :P
WhitneyShehan 10
Your night was "shot to hell"? Stop being so god damn insensitive and get her some cheese sticks. She's carrying your child, man up and give the woman what she wants.
Ctrummel 3
30, that was a little cheesy don't Ya think?
Korra_fml 23
#115, it's not always about cheese sticks... but there's always SOMETHING we react to in extreme ways while pregnant. for some, it's just one little thing that sets you off. for others, it's just about everything. i freaked out and started sobbing uncontrollably to the point i almost fell down a set of stairs, all because i *thought* some ice cream melted. i found out, after i calmed down, that it hadn't actually melted. i also threw a box of tomatoes at my boyfriend's head because he said there were no knives to slice a tomato for a sandwich he was making me.
dachayke 16
#125, #58, I know I sound like a little kid while saying this, bit I'm the second oldest child out of 8, and my dad works a job that takes up his whole day. My point being, if my mother had ever acted that way while pregnant, our family would be a complete wreck. So no, not everybody acts that way. And believe it or not, you kinda sorta can still drive while pregnant, and get whatever it is you want.
SuperStormCindy 8
Not true. Women are crazy as hell when they're pregnant.
Korra_fml 23
#126, im not saying that its always over something you want. there are plenty of pregnant women who are just perfectly fine, and then start bawling their eyes out over the smallest thing. could be they saw a commercial on tv that somehow upset them, or they just had a thought they didn't like. things like that can't be solved by driving yourself somewhere to buy something. they just have to pass. they can happen at any time of the day or night. just because YOU never saw it in your mom doesn't mean it never happened. unless you yourself have ever been pregnant, you can't fully understand what it's like. stop pretending you do.
nurchok 15
When they are pregnant, they can just suddenly have an urge for anything, you should be willing to do almost anything for her. Trust me, once she has the baby, she'll go back to normal...
Catkam623 27
For gods sake man not the cheesesticks. How could you think about your plans when such a tragedy has occurred.
kylieh72 25
If I were him I probably would have joined her in the mourning of the cheese sticks.
blazingshot147 19
#55 and #2 have you both been on tumblr in the last 2 weeks? What you said sounds like something from tumblr.
aslkdhxiwn 5
Sorry your night was shot to hell OP! But pregnant women are hormonal! Take it from a women(me)
AKGirlinSD 20
Exact. OP, you might want to realize that cheesesticks are just the tip of the iceberg. Once you accept that, you're mentally ready for her fluctuating hormones. Good luck with your baby on the way :-)!
emilyyy_maryyy 14
Women are just hormonal in general
Pancakes017 19
Simple. Change your plans to getting her more cheese sticks.
MeepKris 2
And while you're at it might as well buy some chocolate bars, chocolate mint chip ice cream, and those little pink frosted cupcakes.
Priyaroshni 40
#90 She does not have PMS, she is pregnant, are you trying to give her gestational diabetes? Pick up pickles and peanut butter.
frizz101 22
You never know what she'll crave next.
unidentifieduser 23
That's pregnancy hormones for ya.
Indianboy9321 25
Just keep thinking of the beautiful child you'll have man! It will be worth every hormone-filled evening!
Dave_Davington 33
Exactly, between the getting up every couple of hours, the screaming, the vomit and the shitty nappies, you'll be longing for the days when a hormonal wife was all you had to worry about.
themanboyguy 7
thats for true
bobbyguy 17
I think anybody would start crying when they run out of cheese sticks
ImAFaker 29
Just be grateful. At least it wasn't bacon.
applebramble 22
Totally random (since someone just mentioned bacon) , but if you say "beer can" with a British accent it sounds like "bacon" in a Jamaican/African accent . Ps. Bacon is awesome! And beer!
tpm45 25
I definitely would
olpally 32
Awww! Help her out op!
mikedorval 10
The struggle
leeebeeeee18 20
At least its just cheese sticks she's craving and not a five course dinner!