Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 25
Not even safe in your own home.
Welshite 39
At least you had the decency to wait until you left the elevator. Not many do.
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Comments (69)
JMichael 25
Not even safe in your own home.
whothewhat 4
NSA ad mom strike again
chutney_02 22
Atleast there wasn't a party load of people
Welshite 39
At least you had the decency to wait until you left the elevator. Not many do.
FracturedMinds 21
You can only get away with it in a crowded elevator. Then you can just look at the guy next to you and blame him.
Robbieisadowg 16
Or you could do what Peter Griffin does and blames the other person even if you two are the only people in the elevator.
abhi95 31
Well, they're your parents! They would've seen a much more embarrassing side of you when you were little.. Be thankful it wasn't your hot neighbour or your girlfriend or something!
AliSama 17
Or boyfriend. :-D she could be a lesbian as you suggested.
abhi95 31
Lol.. I totally missed the gender part there! Well let me just save face and say.. Yes, I meant her to be a lesbian!
ChristianH39 30
That's not too bad, I doubt your parents would seriously judge you for farting in your own apartment. Even if it was a truly epic one, in which case you should've laughed with them
Nilorak 24
I know the feeling.
elmatador615 12
At least you didn't poop your pants while you were at it
4funzies 13
Why does it say 5ML? Is it a typo or a pun? Just curious...
capsizedatsea 15
It's to celebrate FML's 5th birthday.
4funzies 13
Thanks! I didn't notice until after I posted this that it was on more than one post. :)
Sports_guy3 28
I was wondering the same thing, #7. Until I read the blog. Happy Birthday to my favorite app! #5ML
FracturedMinds 21
First time i saw it I was wondering how they let such an obvious typo through. Then I looked through the rest and realized it wasn't a typo. took me a few minutes to get it.
4funzies 13
Thanks for making me feel like less of an idiot guys. :)
elcee1987 18
I was wondering the same thing and didn't have the balls to ask!
saIty 17
Learn from this experience. Next time fart in the elevator and let an unexpecting victim take all the blame.
TheTacoMan 24
There are two kinds of people in this world...
FracturedMinds 21
The people who fart in elevators, and the poor bastard who has to smell it.
Baucis 10
What's the big deal about letting it rip? I would of laughed with them.
Ihavegas 22
I agree
laden_swallow09 34
*would've
Baucis 10
Thanks, Swallows. Grammar is important. I would of correct myself if I was edumacted.
Rainhawk94 27
I'm sorry the first time i read this,i thought you ran into your apartment, face into wall