Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML
Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
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Top comments
graceinsheepwear 33
They pecked your pecker?
j_cat187 19
That's sexual harassment. Sue the birds.
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Comments (63)
graceinsheepwear 33
They pecked your pecker?
TylerBurden 21
Woody wood wouldn't be amused.
incoherentrmblr 21
Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers...
tpm45 25
I thought the birds were angry because the pigs stole their eggs... Are you also green by any chance, OP?
\ 28
It doesn't seem possible to top #27's comment
jipster 11
You have very funny friends OP, that they think it's funny to see you getting picked by seagull's.
worldclassrager 39
Hope your okay...well don't get to crazy for revenge...
sds7 7
*you're
yellowaholic 25
I don't think he can get revenge because he was asleep when it happened..
NessaMae 19
I'd choose a smiley face on my stomach over my genitals getting poked at by seagulls anyday.
Kallian_fml 21
Perhaps your friends thought you would appreciate a free vasectomy?
TheFunnyTroll 3
We can only hope the seagulls thought to cauterise the incision.
dRpRdP 8
feeling sorry for your girlfriend :D
funnaybitch114 7
Haha reminds me of the time I told my sister not to go by a flock of seagulls at the beach, she did it anyways and ran up and down the beach screaming with a flock of seagulls chasing after herXD
JMichael 25
You're so evil ;)
ClaireWinchester 17
Some people are assholes. Sorry OP, that sounds painful. DX
niftyismybitch 21
Feeling sorry for the birds...
tranced_ 45
sombeach huh?