Miscellaneous: Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on...

By joe1234 - 17/07/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 853

You deserved it 9 726

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 06:02

Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 1 020

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 830

You deserved it 5 035

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 3 722

By scratchy - 08/02/2011 21:39

Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 197

You deserved it 2 741

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 548

You deserved it 7 942

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 868

You deserved it 3 760

By Burned - 05/06/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 098

You deserved it 7 078

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 39 950

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 818

You deserved it 6 325

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 143

You deserved it 6 014

shoeofallcosmos 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:52

Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?

pizz0wn3d 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:53

lmao. your friend is awesome.

Comments

shoeofallcosmos 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:52

Hey, that's cool! Why don't we have a "screw you that's awesome" button?

_Noon_ 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:40

There should definitely be a button like that!

ravensierra 0

Friday 17 July 2009 12:23

YDI for having friends, you should socially isolate yourself.

grlwitperlEring 0

Friday 17 July 2009 14:20

Agreed that's pretty much exactly what I thought when I read it

cmtriplecage 1

Friday 17 July 2009 23:57

yea that button wold be cool but i think in this case her friend is awesome for doing that!!!

FarSide 22

Saturday 18 July 2009 0:12

Now, I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.

blondiee09 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 5:15

#1 : AGREED! lol and your friend is a genius!!!

icall_BS 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 8:40

I would have totally thanked your friend for doing that for me.

joce445 0

Monday 2 August 2010 3:49

Wow, admit it you would be slighty pissed. But this FML is hilarious!

rachelmacivor 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 5:27

we should hava my life is worse button

RpiesSPIES 27

Monday 17 October 2016 2:10

#137 I believe that's for FMyLife: Narcissism/Pessimism edition.

pizz0wn3d 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:53

lmao. your friend is awesome.

iSlowPwnz 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:45

I agree haha! That's freaking hilarious! But still...I clicked FYL so you can feel a little better ;)

insanechinaman 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 18:39

who doesnt want a pretzel shaped tan line :D

clarinetgarza 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 7:38

that's a pretty cool idea XD

whoisthisgirl 4

Friday 22 October 2010 8:54

that is so amazing lol winnnnn

rmujerita 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:55

awwww poor you.

tiffanyro 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:58

AHAHHAHAHAHHA xD

eddy1sis 0

Friday 17 July 2009 9:59

that sucks. lol.

beenhereallalong 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:01

use some fake tan to cover it up :)

americayay 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:06

Nah. OP should use some fake tan to DRAW a pretzel outline onto their friend's forhead while they're asleep.

beenhereallalong 0

Friday 17 July 2009 11:29

no. fail.

americayay 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 7:40

no. you fail. because that was a great idea. dillhole.

colourmealy 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:02

thats hilarious,but it does suck

madlogik 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:03

do you know the cheetos/ seagull girl? fyl

too_much_fun 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:24

my thoughts exactly

lalaimbored 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:56

hahah thats why you should NEVER fall asleep at the beach! nothing good ever happens!

donovanrammstein 3

Friday 17 July 2009 18:05

summer means one thing - beaches and food-related mishaps!

f_this_s 0

Friday 17 July 2009 20:39

Haha, that's what I was thinking too! You either get fried or someone does something awful to you... its funny when it happens to someone else, but I would sure be pissed if someone did it to me... that's why I dont go to the beach!