Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML
Today, it was my first day at Military School. Our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood, which the commander wasted no time in addressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML
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Top comments
teddy4nyy 13
That's sounds like a pain in the ass.
Posthuman 26
Give it to the drill sergeant. They have that name for a reason you know.
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Comments (95)
teddy4nyy 13
That's sounds like a pain in the ass.
Girlytoes 6
Literally
Soniye 14
That*
soccerstar1996 18
And THAT is a perfect example of why you don't tell your prankster friends the finer details of how your life works
Zimmington 21
Anyone else find it weird this is the third ***** through the mail FML within a month?
justmeCee 16
LOL. Yeah, maybe it was a regift from the guy that got his grandmas ***** in the mail! :p
Vamking 5
Come it's a new trend mail didlo. Mail will make you happy new ways
Bloink 25
I see what you did there ;)
hawkknight 24
Very punny!
evilscorpi 29
I wonder how the DI responded to that.
mariepastyglue 30
Well you and your army buddies can have a real good time now. Btw they must be really good friends to go through the trouble and expenses to ship you such a fun gift. I wish I had friends like yours....
kjones99 11
Your friends seem like funny people. They probably wanted to make sure you still had fun while at training...Sucks that you had to open it in front of your drill sergent though, OP.
Ian7890 23
I'm guessing that his friends knew he would have to open it in front of his drill sergeants, that's why they sent it.
PterodactylMan 23
Your friends are clever trolls
meggieeee92 15
People always send embarrassing things in packages when you're in basic since you have to open it in front of everyone. I sent a friend of mine a gay **** magazine just to be funny.
pokemonchick14 12
Make sure you still had fun? From what I know oftentimes sending stuff like this puts recruits through hell.
br00kr 22
My mom told my friend to bring me a pair of underwear and he wore them down the street then loudly told my friends they were mine. I cried for awhile i was so embarressed
Posthuman 26
Give it to the drill sergeant. They have that name for a reason you know.
justmeCee 16
Hahaha!
JasonUMN 15
Hopefully it was fuzzy and pink so you could explain it was a joke.
Welshite 39
Or one really weird fetish...
angeluv_2014 22
Fuzzy??
gc327072 30
Nah, he's in the army, so obviously it's a M-99287 Tactical Pleasuring Device (TPD)
challan 19
Your ass is going to get smoked in more than one way now.
sematariux 7
Lol ^ army jokes...
Catkam623 27
We sent my friend gay ****:)
ShyAnn29 14
Well, I guess you won't get lonely...lol, I bet the look on their faces was priceless!!
Welshite 39
I like your friends. Just wait until the next package they send. I wonder what it will be.
mete_orito 34
I think mailing ****** is becoming very common these days.
Dawnstempest 17
It sounds like they wanted you to have extra special attention from that important someone. Oh, everywhere I go. Oh everywhere I go. There's a Drill Sergeant there. There's a Drill Sergeant there.
Sly_Assassin 11
At least they did it for your benefit OP. Sucks that everyone saw though