Embarrassing, Pranks and Miscellaneous: Good one, thanks

Good one, thanks

By zackeryburch - 03/08/2013 13:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 481

You deserved it 6 541

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Same thing different taste

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 4 209

You're in the army now, oh ohoh, you're in the army. Now.

By LoveGlove - 21/06/2014 21:42 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 120

You deserved it 4 955

It's a sign...

By Ohfknhell - 16/05/2018 05:00

Today, I received a package from Amazon that was supposed to contain the book I needed for my open book final exam tonight. They must have mixed up my order, because the box contained a large pink dildo. I think the universe just told me to get fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 658

You deserved it 756

Pleased to see me?

By Lukev7 - 12/09/2009 13:14 - Australia

Today, it was my first day at Military School. Our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood, which the commander wasted no time in addressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 005

You deserved it 5 593

Too embarrassed to get them from a store?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 02:00

Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 664

By TMI - 05/08/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 632

You deserved it 6 386

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:41 - United States - Greeley

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 742

You deserved it 6 882

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 263

By skinnyguy23 - 10/09/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 497

You deserved it 3 629

By steakysteak - 12/03/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 197

You deserved it 2 487

teddy4nyy 13

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:27

That's sounds like a pain in the ass.

Posthuman 26

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:28

Give it to the drill sergeant. They have that name for a reason you know.

Comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:36

Wow things have change from when I went

soapmactavish82 8

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:39

I'm really sorry for the amount of push ups you have to do for that joke but don't worry to much skeeter-wing you will pull through

Rainbow_sparkles 7

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:40

don't ask͵ don't tell

cylus13 9

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:42

I call bull shit on this post. One you do not have time in basic to play on the net let a loan have access to the net.

Welshite 39

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:44

Not every FML published happened today or even yesterday. Some can be years old, but they all are required to begin with "today".

GoodLookingGeese 10

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:42

Stupid joke, kick their silly asses when u get back...

bigheadco07 7

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:43

I bet they knew you had to open mail in front of everyone. They just wanted to embarrass you.

sirjuice35 11

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:44

trolled! lol

LissaMccracken 23

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:44

Just try to pass it off as a back massager!!!!

BrianaKoala 7

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:44

What was their reaction?? :o

rikai 11

Saturday 3 August 2013 19:47

I call fake. I just went through basic September of 2011. You get one phone call before you start, one a week before graduation. unless you snuck your phone in. if you did, they better recycle your dumb ass.