Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Take it as a compliment! Either that or they just aren't very subtle about wishing you hadn't come home.
oj101 33
Keep up the hard work, and soon you'll be so thin, no one can even see you when you turn sideways. That way, you'll be a much more efficient burglar.
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Comments (52)
nix1993 41
Take it as a compliment! Either that or they just aren't very subtle about wishing you hadn't come home.
fareith 15
Does this happen every time a stranger comes to the door as well?
RedPillSucks 31
Are you sure you came home to the right house? or maybe they moved and didn't tell you.
ChenEighty 20
I'm sure OP would've realized that they did before posting an FML about it..
ThunderLightTSV 31
No, no, I'm pretty sure they knew.
Denomic 9
Well, I wouldn't be too upset that you're completely ripped
waterpolohezy 6
Yeah I would t say that this is a bad thing...
ohSNAPyall 26
Makes for a good family story.
_GoodGuy 11
Is it possible that you may have not came home through the front, and came in from the back? Screaming in joy, scaring the absolute sh*t out of your parents?
lilhellian 26
I would!
ManInTheMachine 19
^Then you're probably not in your right mind.
lilhellian 26
Next you'll tell me chasing mean kids and barking isn't normal. >.>
ThunderLightTSV 31
It's..not...?
BeMyLove15 10
Congrats on getting in shape, now you have a new funny story to tell.
Welshite 39
Bring out the chips and cookies! Not only will you eat delicious snacks but your parents will begin to recognize you again. Win-win, in my opinion.
CammyGal 26
Looks like someone's hungry...
oj101 33
Keep up the hard work, and soon you'll be so thin, no one can even see you when you turn sideways. That way, you'll be a much more efficient burglar.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Just become two dimensional when the lights come on.
darwinism 30
Understandable if "getting into shape" means you lost weight while being a poor student. We've all been there.
SuperSofie 23
You lost weight whilst at university?! Most of my friends, myself included, gain weight, espeially during exam period.
mcrepas 19
Welcome home!
perdix 29
Don't flatter yourself -- they probably just forgot who you were.
Jemm_fml 29
On the contrary I bet they know exactly who the OP was and just weren't happy about being interrupted. :B