Anonymous
San Marcos, United States 🌶️ Spicy
TMI
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
EmmaG123
United States
Gift ideas
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" as the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing. FML
Trew Love
Fort Saint John, Canada
Mix up
Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML
Furnando
Close to me
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
newlyengaged
Atlanta, United States
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
sad gf
🌶️ Spicy
Cockblocked
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML
Anonymous
Quezon City, Philippines
Happy Birthday baby!
Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML
Anonymous
United States
Dumpy baby
Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML
Anoymous
Burlingame, United States
Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML
Top comments
Welshite 39
I must introduce this fantastic holiday to my family. More presents for me.
NoOneCaresReally 8
Well... Happy Conception Day!
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Comments (124)
NoOneCaresReally 8
Well... Happy Conception Day!
Alleged_Cranium 7
Ask her "how was the sex?
raesos91 26
just remember that you were the lucky swimmer that made it to the end of the race! or in this case, the egg :P
MrBrightside21 20
50 - Or not. I know some great psychiatrists if you need any. I'm still crazy, but at least now I know how to hide it.
free2speak 14
Actually 52, the first sperm to reach the egg is usually not the one that fertilizes it. It takes the collective effort of a few sperm cells to make the membrane thin enough for one of them to penetrate.
JenkJenks 6
Yeah. The first sperm lays down a couple sweet lines and buys the egg a few drinks. After the egg is feeling good, another sperm comes along and woos it by dropping some more cash on it. When the egg is hammered and its inhibitions lowered, a third sperm slips it away and penetrates before the other sperm know what happened.
dead247 13
From the description you just gave, we're all jackass'.
jarrettd 27
Actually, the first one to the egg is usually never the one to fertilize it. Its a combination of many.
rgriff27 19
#52, I cannot express to you how much I love your Zoso picture.
happle 21
77- Are you saying multiple sperm normally fertilize a single egg?
MrPlopper 9
95- no multiple eggs fertilize a single sperm
Horsempeg 25
I don't understand why this is an fml.. at least you were born?
hallix 21
This is going to be me as a parent one day if I ever have kids.
Welshite 39
I must introduce this fantastic holiday to my family. More presents for me.
skittlestrailmix 14
I convinced my family to get me half birthday gifts one year.
ona16 22
I was adopted :(
TopBanana20 11
101- Adopted Day? that could work...
FastidiousPear 6
The only present you'd get, 2, is a lot of sperm.
VolleyAly 14
101- my friend who was adopted celebrates "gotcha day" every year on the day she was adopted
Dblocker 18
Did you get a gift?
PenguinBitch 43
The gift of life.
joshiepo0 18
The gift was that is all she said and did not retell the story
poccocurantes 7
The gift was not showing the home movies of the conception.
ICastillo 24
Well at least she is glad to have conceived you.
bombshellbabee01 9
that's the best part of having a kid
happle 21
I can't think of anything more fun than being preggers.
_krystallynn_ 11
he's referring to *******. not being pregnant.
sens3sfailing 24
dear god, he is saying at least she is glad to have OP as child and didnt regret going through with it at all. is it really that hard of a concept that someone didnt make a dirty joke?
perdix 29
Did she and your dad do a re-enactment? Do you get conception AND birthday presents? Throw in half-birthdays and you'll be in high cotton!
RetardedChipmunk 7
I hope not
Maverick52 13
I hope they're good actors...
gc327072 30
Insert "not sure if gusta" face
NirotJ 2
At least she remembered! Be happy she must think you are worthy of celebrating :)
skittlestrailmix 14
Just an infamous day to remember...
sig4life 18
I hope she doesn't remember because it was one of the few times she has gotten any since she said yes, or even worst case only has sex to reproduce.
blcksocks 19
Just say- Thanks and "happy sex without using condoms day" to you, mom.
amillionbucks 5
Umm... Celebrate?
cgchamp89 7
How supportive! Bet you can't wait for the baby shower!
cgchamp89 7
Well damn... I read that wrong. Please be forgiving! :(
Charleybelle 14
Gave you a sympathetic thumbs up
DommeAshlee 11
So did i. Thumbs up because you caught you're mistake lol!
Eluveitie 9
109, I think my irony meter just exploded.
alfred07 18
Only nine more months until your birthday!