Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML
Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
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Top comments
Natasha14641 7
You should've used the name Bloody Mary instead, OP.
misspulkadot24 17
Was it a costume party? Because, that's a pretty damn original outfit. Rock it! Get the string from a balloon to get the whole effect.
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Comments (103)
misspulkadot24 17
Was it a costume party? Because, that's a pretty damn original outfit. Rock it! Get the string from a balloon to get the whole effect.
camsterjoe 12
And you could use some good pick-up lines as well.
FastidiousPear 6
But what dafuq is wrong with that kid? When I was a kid I had no idea what a used tampon was, let alone what one would look like. Or even an unused one.
imavelociraptor 6
Just because he was his "little" brother doesn't mean he was 5. OP could be 20 and his brother could be 17 for all we know...
FastidiousPear 6
62, the term "little" versus "younger," coupled with the fact that dumping tomato juice on someone is much more likely the action of a little kid, is the support for my argument that it probably was a little kid. Plus, if the op is going to a stupid backlight party, she's probably no older than a teen, so her bother must be even younger
FastidiousPear 6
Granted, it could have been a teenaged brother, but I still stand by my "dafuq is wrong with that kid?"
shannonreneee 11
64, the type of party doesn't give an indication to the age of OP as clubs still do events that are UV, so she could very well be 20. And just because you simply hadn't seen a tampon or understood its purpose at a young age, doesn't mean OP's brother shouldn't. The knowledge usually stems from having older female siblings, it's not a bad thing to be aware of.
LolFMLnot 10
Costume party or not. Anyone would be pissed if they get dressed up and someone throws a tomato juice on you. FYL OP , take revenge
Natasha14641 7
You should've used the name Bloody Mary instead, OP.
angeluv_2014 22
Ahhhh... i see what you did there lol
eddeeezzyy 19
I'm pretty sure we all did, unless your like five.
Enslaved 36
Mary, Mary.. Why ya buggin'? Mary, Mary.. I need your huggin'
Sandman366 6
73-What's a "like five" and where/when did I get it? Do my "likes" count for 5 votes with it or something?
dlforever 8
that's great
shyla93 8
Haaaaaaaaa!
vintageemerald 10
LOL. At least he has a sense of humor.
BlackPhenom 9
a little kid's sense of humor alright.
mistercrow 9
Those disgusting little creatures can be pretty funny I must say xD
angeluv_2014 22
Although funny to us, he sounds like a little shit and his parents need to beat his ass more so he'll learn some manners.
vintageemerald 10
It's his sister, all siblings act that way. And beating? Beating your children for discipline isn't the answer.
EvilUndead 9
88, all people are different, and some of them cannot be reasoned with. So, sometimes violence is the answer. Also, since he's her brother, (and not an offspring/child), then beating the crap out of him is the appropriate response in this particular situation. It is better to teach him now that ruining people's clothes for fun is a bad idea - because later some other (less friendly) victim of his joke might break his neck.
SillyGirl4602 23
Spanking maybe but beating the crap out if him is unnecessary.
Blackcatluck 19
On the other hand people might say it creative just hide the smell
FlamingTacos 7
Maybe he's just trying to get you in some *******
botanistjessica 24
Probably not, considering OP's name is Mary.
lilhellian 26
So just because she is named mary, she can't **** girls..
StalkerChick 13
I don't know many girls that would insert a used tampon in their vaginas..
Smartdumbblonde 27
Considering op is a girl, I doubt that she would want to be doing that.
angeluv_2014 22
45- Exactly. You just made FlamingTacos look like even more of a total ass and it was hilarious. Props to you
llamafish 25
46 - There is such a thing as lesbians, too.
lilhellian 26
If he's interested in bloody tampons.. Show him a real one...
BrocGlover 6
Maybe OP's brother has already seen a used tampon? That's what I'm getting from him saying that OP looked "just like a used tampon".
lilhellian 26
She can do more then show him.. Very unusual payback..
Enslaved 36
I say punch him in the face and make him use a tampon to stop his bleeding nose.
Lant 6
Your brother is gross
GTAmax99 12
I found it sophisticated and clever!
rawrriri 8
At least it was before OP was leaving..
rawrriri 8
Wow... No. Okay, I'm sorry, I read that all wrong. See you in the underworld, past comment.
nycwrestler 17
Can I purchase a one way ticket to thumbsdownville, please?
FameNFortune 12
Reminds me of Carrie that horror movie .. Haha anyways OP ...
Itsthaworld 4
Haha that was weird movie
VannahJane 17
He has a sense of humor!
ICastillo 24
You should have never showed him what they look like In the first place.
GTAmax99 12
Ya , I'm sure that's exactly what happened.
Lioness8197 18
"Little Johnny, see this? It's a used tampon!"