Poopoo peepee and Gross: Cool nickname

Cool nickname

By nearsighted-ut - 26/09/2019 02:00

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 126

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Same thing different taste

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 1 231

Bath bomb

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 11:01

Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 934

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 769

You deserved it 10 916

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 96

Funny, huh?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, after having an upset stomach for two days, I thought it would be funny to rip a fart in front of two teen boys at the hardware store. It wasn’t until I crapped myself wearing shorts and it ran down my leg into my sock that I realized it wasn’t at all “funny.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 994

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 038

You deserved it 2 967

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 823

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 988

You deserved it 2 514

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

mcsmee 7

Thursday 26 September 2019 4:12

Bet you're glad you were wearing glasses.

Tiffani Carter 6

Thursday 26 September 2019 2:16

I think that’s how you get pink eye.

Comments

Tiffani Carter 6

Thursday 26 September 2019 2:16

I think that’s how you get pink eye.

ahabsfan 14

Thursday 26 September 2019 2:56

I might have gone with brown noser.

mcsmee 7

Thursday 26 September 2019 4:12

Bet you're glad you were wearing glasses.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 September 2019 4:25

Better than Sharty Johnson.

DrSamba 7

Thursday 26 September 2019 6:27

Yeah, that's a shart.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Thursday 26 September 2019 7:37

Unfortunately, I've read this FML while eating breakfast.

Spoopy Flame III 8

Friday 27 September 2019 5:00

not the best idea

SimplyAStudent 11

Thursday 26 September 2019 8:56

give him a nickname in return. imagine that happens with all his farts 😂

cheesebond 29

Thursday 26 September 2019 11:47

That sounds like a shitty brother

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 26 September 2019 15:47

Replace your brother's shampoo/conditioner with Nair. Call him skinhead...

Weslea Sanchez 12

Thursday 26 September 2019 18:40

I have been shitfaced, but never that kinda of shitfaced. it makes it into a whole new meaning

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Students Relatable Work Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

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Same thing different taste

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