Heftychonk

By Backinzi - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 486
You deserved it 5 074

Same thing different taste

Top comments

TheBrickWithouse 10

I've been there. it definitely sucks. FYL.

Comments

BIEBERSLAYER 10

I'm pretty sure it did but you can try it to find out.....dumbass

TheBrickWithouse 10

I've been there. it definitely sucks. FYL.

enonymous 8

Throw some iodine on that bitch and man or woman the **** up. Back in my day we would amputate for everything and that's how we liked it... We loved it.

YDI, 17lbs? F the cats life. You need to put it on a diet.

hcs4life21 0

39 - If you've ever been clawed by a cat you'd know that you can't just "man the **** up". That shit can hurt!

another reason why dogs >>> cats

I think you got it wrong 84. It's cats>>>>>>>dogs.

damnalltheasshol 0

107 your wrong dogs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cats

idontcare8l 3

63 - my cat is 25 pounds , wtf is in his cat food!

PrimeStarscream 30

Ouch. I hope you have enough bandages.

Is your cat orange and loves to eat lasagna?

kameryn25 3

more like the OP needs to stop feeding the cat bon bon's. definitely a YDI cats don't get that big on their own.

Cats can get way bigger than that just on cat food alone, plus it depends on the breed. Even if it is fat, the op shouldn't have to spend 5x as much for diet cat food and hours every day for it's exercise. Plus fat cats are cute :D

i iz b a troll, your pic makes me want to punch you in the face

my maine coon cat is 24 pounds and he's still skinny

MerrikBarbarian 9

if cat is a mainecoone or savannah, 17lbs could be healthy or even underweight. British short hairs are pretty heafty cats too.

kameryn25 3

I'd have to agree with 93 and 80 who said anything about diet cat food the op would actually spend less money by feeding the cat less or by going all natural and letting the cat fend for himself. And by the context of the FML it would seem the OP is alluding to the fact that his cat is bigger than average otherwise this wouldn't be an FML.

Actually there is a species of cat called a Maine coon and they usually get to be about that size. I personally have one. He's only about 6 months old and weighs about 9 pounds.

That's the equivalent of a human having their fingernails removed. A simple trim would suffice, don't torture the poor thing.

kaykay20 0

I think clipping them to make them shorter would be better then removing them completely.

Looking a bit too excited there, pink buddy.

kindgremlin 5

It is actually worse than getting your nails removed. You have to remove the first bone of the digit, like us losing our first knuckle. Very gruesome and cats will just starting biting more to defend themselves!

12em12 1

This comment makes Mr.Fluffykins mad, and when Mr.Fluffykins is mad,I am mad. And when I get mad, you will never see the end of it.

pff! its a cat no one cares about its feelings

pff! It's a Synapse, no one cares about it's feelings.

hcs4life21 0

4 - Declawing?! Are you effing kidding me?

I had one of my cats declawed, not all four feet though, just the front feet, she wasn't any different than other cats. She was an indoor cat

Every time I hear someone complain about how horrible it is to declaw a cat, I want to tell them to go hug a tree. I've had several cats declawed, it's done professional, and only their front pals. The cats have always been fine afterwards. Just spend sometime with your kitties are they are healing and give they the good food.

cheesepie08 0

yeah! remove its damn claws

that's like me ripping out you're toenails- I don't think you would like that :)

kindgremlin 5

That is a horrible message you are sending! I have had to unfortunately assist with a declaw, meaning: clamping hemostats on the cats nail base, while the vet separates the first joint from the second. I have also seen declaws that went wrong, where the vet didn't perform it correctly and their jacked up nails grew back into their paws. Horrific and much worse than scratched up furniture. There are other ways around it like Soft Paws, to name one. Side note, I'm not a tree hugger.

if you don't want an animal with claws don't buy an animal with claws. Don't go out of your way to go oh cats > dogs but i hate their claws lets declaw them. you guys suck.. btw to the other person who replied that diet cat food is to expensive and they don't think they owner should have to put hours into exercising their cat that IS exactly what they should do numb nuts. If you own an animal its YOUR responsibility and just because cats can get fat just from eating cat food doesn't mean the owner isn't feeding it too much yes cats can get fatter than that but i hardly consider it healthy. OP Deserves it for having 1 having a cat and 2 making it fat!

BeautifulDemonKP 4

jeez thats painful it sounds like when i was jumping a fence and it had barbed wire on it but i didnt know because it was on the side my leg was cut up it hurt so bad and i didnt have my tetnus shot. FYL OP sorry

kcircuses2 4

wow what a completely irrelevant story

All your comments are dumb "BeautifulDemon"...

I still don't understand why that story was necessary to share.

subjectdelta2 0

.....I stuck a flute up my...;)

Get a cat treadmill! They're actually uber fun to watch .. Guess that makes me a hobbit

1) Just because a cat is 17lbs doesn't mean this animal needs to diet. My 20 month old cat is about 15lbs of pure muscle. He is NOT fat. He's just very big. 2) How would you like your finger nails or toe nails ripped out? It's a painful thing to do to a cat, and they have to walk on their "fingers" after their claws get ripped out. 17lbs of weight on newly declawed paws is gonna hurt. Furthermore, you don't know the cat's environment. Since the cat has its claws, it's possible the owner lives in an area where the cat goes outside and needs said claws in order to defend itself. That totally sucks, op. I've been there and it hurts like a son-of-a-gun.

Nobody's going to read a cat grooming speech on FML. Try pussy.com.

randomchick15 0

Cats always walk on their "fingers", not on their nails. They retract their claws while walking (like any cat except the cheetah). Anyhow, removing their nails is still a cruel practice, just not for that reason.

lol @11.. 15 pounds "of pure muscle" doesn't sound like any cat ik.

For some reason, I want to call BS on the '15 pounds of pure muscle' thing... What kind of cat would that be? A cross breed of house cat & mountain lion? A 17 pound housecat is almost certianly fat, and needs to go on a diet.

Captain0bv10us 0
deefan101 11

STFU! Know one want to hear about your fat-ass cat. Which it is clearly impossible to have pure muscle! Get a life and stop making up BS!

I believe "15 lbs of pure muscle." I had a cat who was a stray that we picked up, starved and bone thin who weighed in at 13lbs. When he was healthy he was 20+.

likerawrandstuff 0

15 Pounds Of Pure Mustle Huh.? If Yer So Proud Of it Put Him In The Hello Kitty Olympics.! Oh Wait, They Dont Have That. Cuz I Havent Seen A Normal House Cat Have 15 Pounds Of pure Mustle Cool Story Broha.

My cat is about 20lbs but he is a really long and thin cat

I'm guessing you're a crazy cat lady...?

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Damn that cat needs to lose weight like Jared. Remember subway eat fresh!