That's creepy and gross. Is he unable to just accept a no?

Gross. Are you sure he is the one to stay with?

Look, OP. Listen. If a friend of yours came to you and told you this story—about feeling like she had to lie to get out of sex and her boyfriend literally physically checked her used pads from then unto perpetuity—what would your reaction be? Would you think that was normal? Or would you tell her to run like she was on fire? Because from where I’m standing, I can’t imagine what he could possibly bring to this relationship that would weigh up against this massive violation of my privacy. You can do better, and you should.

if you don't feel comfortable enough to say no to sex with no explanation what does that say about your relationship?

couple therapy might be able to give you the communication you need to say your needs, if he still thinks his needs are above yours, and that you aren't allowed to say no i don't feel like it, is that how you want to live the rest of your life?

Wow... If you wonder why you sometimes don't feel like sex, that's the reason right there: Because it has become an obligation

major red flag 🚩 big violation. get out soon.

OP, you need to RUN. That is not a healthy action (nor is it hygienic). Really big red flag.

You need a new husband, this one is psychotic.

You NEVER “owe” ANYONE sex. That sounds like a relationship to get out of. I doubt that’s the only demanding and controlling that he does.