Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML
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Top comments
snafu57 1
the butterfly effect. one touch can produce ripples that affects the entire other side of your body.
snafu57 1
a cushion for the pushin. if he's playing with the pork chops, you should play with his tiny limp noodle.
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Comments (120)
Aisaii 0
why are you even with that guy ? ydi
OPISDUMB 0
Really? She shouldn't be complaining. She should be grateful that he's still with her disgusting thighs.
WhiteDelight 4
hahaha
Lesbier 0
really you're just an ass. and probably american. She ought to tell him to stop, it's disrespectful to her. He does not like it then he should leave or tell her that he doesn't like it.
nomadxx7 0
most of the world hates our government. the middle class is usually not super trollish. I know a lot of good Americans. Problem is that our government and people from the Jersey Shore show makes it look like all Americans are either idiots or douchebags.
Ireplywith_memes 0
You are complaining bout people from the Jersey shore? Try living in the same state where they migrate every summer.
Freeze_fml 17
This rant on America is brought to you by England. It's perfect.
strar009 0
if you look closely it says singapore dumbass..
Albedo667 5
oh believe me he likes it, if he didn't he wouldn't even bother to touch them
Cupffin 0
If you live in America, you're American. But as for your heritage/ethnicity or whatever, you look Asian. **** if we're hated so much why does everyone immigrant here...I wonder... And OP, be happy. He actually likes your, by what you say, fat thighs.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I just find it odd (?) that while everyone was talking about American's I thought to myself how it seems like every country has another country they like to make fun of or put down. And it passed my mind that I hear a lot of Americans dissing on the French, and then you just happen to be French. I doubt odd is the right word, but it was just a strange coincidence I guess...
Hugorgy 0
Yeah, that show should be renamed "New York Guidos".
NataleeC 0
@ Cuffpin: wait what?? erm. . .*taps shoulder*. . . .I'm Jamaican and living in America, still doesn't change the fact that I'm Jamaican. . . .just wanted to get that straight with you and by the way its migrate, not immigrant. . .
MeiryTron 0
The comment box says speak your mind, but please TRY to be respectful. He spoke his mind, and it could have been worse. So stfu.(:
evan40111 0
lol...hamburgulars....
elliepenguin 5
A rude comment followed by an irrelevant argument over Americans.
Humbaba 0
Go on a diet then fatty!
gapeach0530 0
dude, many skinny people have fat on their thighs. you cant have NO fat on your body, especially if youre a girl. if you didnt then you wouldnt have ****. just bc u've never gotten laid shows wht a douche u rlly r. (:
iamloki 0
YDI for being fat
The12thPaladin 8
Everyone has fat on their thighs, my gf has thick thighs yet she isn't fat what so ever
Soulathyia 0
This isn't an FML this is a FHL! Lose the weight or you're going to lose him. Duh!
MiaKong 0
So her being over weight means he is going to leave her? Wow that must be some true love there. "If your fat ass doesn't lose weight I will find someone better." If he's with her he obviously doesn't have a huge problem with it.
sleephunters 8
Your BF FTW
snafu57 1
the butterfly effect. one touch can produce ripples that affects the entire other side of your body.
ryki_bloom 0
win.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I think I'm going to add this to my favorites just so I can read this comment again. It made this FML worth it.
RolandofGilead 0
Maybe he just likes chunky girls.... take it as a sign of his attraction toward you....?
schwinn11 0
Hell yeah, there's nothing wrong with a little jiggle
TrollTrollTroll 0
haha you're even more fat then me! Every one above and elow me are fags
GeorgeBoosh 0
yum, thighs. Nice juicy, tender thighs, basted and deep fried with 11 secret herbs and spices… Lose weight girl, or tone up. An exercise program on a thigh master, or ping pong balls, and he'll move on to other body parts.
snafu57 1
a cushion for the pushin. if he's playing with the pork chops, you should play with his tiny limp noodle.
KaylieBieber13 0
win^