Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
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Top comments
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
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Comments (108)
Nyx_fml 23
I hope they're not asking how much she charges too. They might expect a discount.
Nyx_fml 23
It must have been whoreifying for OP.
OnlyAvailableID 28
I bet OP's girlfriend would be reeling those cops in, hooker line and sinker.
flashback.miss 28
hmmph. don't worry about them giving you looks. you're doing your job and at least you know your girlfriend was unfaithful.
blackwidowtaco 31
That's why most of us refrain from looking at it whilst commenting.
RedPillSucks 31
or eating, or having sex, or any other activity
Little4Bear 10
Why would someone get on FML during sex...
judea95 16
Exactly, they should be judging the girlfriend not the guy from doing his job no matter the circumstances.
ShyAnn29 14
At least he doesn't have to do research to see if she's cheating....I'm sorry OP, I bet that's a horrible thing to know she's sleeping with other guys. I'm glad you got rid of her, you deserve better!!
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
AKGirlinSD 20
Read OP's user name ;-). At least he dumped her right away and found out after only 3 months of dating, instead of 3 years. No matter what, that has to be one of the worst ways to find out your significant other is being unfaithful.
Wakachulak 22
That pun stopped being funny at take #347
Treveyon56 14
After dumping her I hope OP had himself checked for STDs
FMLkoala 28
#33 what pun?
dinagdotphoto 13
Maybe #33 read it as "whorst ways"?.. Idk ***** else he could have possibly seen a pun here..
rosenkrieger223 24
I think #33 was talking about the whole "you mean ex girlfriend, right? " thing. Granted, it isn't a pun but it's still definitely overused on FMLs of this nature.
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
goldenturtlez 7
I'm surprised your bits and pieces don't look like they've been hit by chemical weapons! Do they?....
Faith13 16
Did you not know she was a prostitute before she became your girlfriend? Or is this type of situation how the both of you met?
anythingmustbe 18
How I met your mother?
Faith13 16
I'm not understanding the question.
oxygenius 14
How I Met Your Mother is a tv series. He was making a reference.
Faith13 16
I understand it's a TV show. And they have several prostitute jokes throughout the series. Didn't understand the referenced question.
StuffedAnimals 1
In all honesty he probably didn't know. There was an old publication that was titled SPREAD. It was a magazine specifically written for and by people in the sex industry. In short it was always advised that the sex worker either stay single or not disclose their occupation to their significant other.
simplysarcastics 26
Why do people judge someone for another's actions? Op obviously did not know about his gf's double life. The people at his work suck, they should be comforting op, not ridiculing him like he's her pimp.
SanpakuEyes 18
I'm sorry OP, that was probably one of the lowest points of your career not to mention relationship. It makes me wonder what all those looking and judging would have done had they been in a similar predicament.
toooldforthis 19
I'm thinking no...
toooldforthis 19
Nothing*** sorry!
Wizardo 33
You didn't know about that side of her and one should wonder how they all knew her?
Pwn17 25
It was only 3 months, its not like she'd tell him about it when they first meet. They probably still lived separately, so it would be an easy secret for her to keep (until she got arrested of course). As for them knowing, he probably introduced them at some point. Or maybe they used her services, who knows.
emuexport 4
Oooh ****..
Pwn17 25
Yeah, she did that a lot.
eddeeezzyy 19
As much as this sucks obviously, be glad that it was only 3 months and not 3 years or something.