Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML
Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six years asked, "If you'd go somewhere, where'd you go?" Assumed he's planning our first big vacation, I said, "Somewhere warm, with water and beaches." Later I found out via social media that he's at the airport with a chick resembling our new neighbour. They're going to a romantic place with his boss. I also found out that I'm pregnant and unemployed. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
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Top comments
angiemarie96 25
Instagram him a break up pic :) a sign with you giving the finger Clearly they have wifi access to post on instagram
sumbum95 15
Don't worry at least now you know he's a duche! You can do better!:)
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Comments (80)
sumbum95 15
Don't worry at least now you know he's a duche! You can do better!:)
buddy51 23
*douche! Unless you meant he's Dutch, in which case you spelled that wrong too!
Caitie_kid 8
Yes... You can gain access to his things while he's away. I feel a good revenge coming...
sumbum95 15
My bad forgot the O. *douche
LindsayxMoore 18
Wow what an ass. At least you found out. You can do much better.
cosicosei 22
Do you know her personally? How do you know she can do/deserves better?
cristy91 33
42: it's a pretty safe assumption that someone deserves better than being lied to and cheated on by an idiot who posts his doings on Facebook. It's also easy to find a guy who is above the level of "complete asswipe", which is the level OP's soon-to-be ex is currently at. Hope that answers your questions
depocadoll 15
How is he posting pictures to Instagram without service??... Can't you still call him if he's using wifi? My phone can do that, I'd assume any smartphone could, but I guess I could be wrong..?
cristy91 33
Oops, I read Facebook instead of Instagram. Sorry!
cosicosei 22
57, how do you know its not karma biting her in the ass for doing the same thing to some other guy, or even him?? Im just playing the devil's advocate though, people are too quick to assume sides. Fml doesnt provide nearly enough info to do so.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
Op just move on now and act as if your single. When he gets back..be like "Oh ya we broke up a while ago..I've been dating around." U dont need his approval to be over.
angiemarie96 25
Instagram him a break up pic :) a sign with you giving the finger Clearly they have wifi access to post on instagram
PterodactylMan 23
Even better if you get another guy for the pic
ElementaryEdGuy 18
If that fails, print out the picture and tape it to your door when he returns. If he lives with you, change the locks. He should get the picture.
ZeroPath5 16
That's not the greatest way to deal with it, drawing attention to it just sounds like a bad idea, but it's a thought.
collegedream121 8
Or just a Instagram picture captured newly single and he will see it himself.
ouibijou 15
That's what I was thinking. She'll stoop to his level if she does something like that
Bebbo_fml 21
Op you should start a hashtag and have it trend.
stu0 4
No cellphone service but he can post photos on Instagram... I'm sure the 'no reception' is just another lie
stu0 4
Then she can send him some form of breakup message, email, Facebook message, Skype, whatsapp or whatever else there is. Even commenting on that photo
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Using social media is a bit more impersonal, so she can come off as more blase than she might in a phone conversation. I like the idea of commenting on the photo- the girl he's with would be able to see it as well, and know he's a cheating scumbag (if she doesn't already).
Life_is_FML 22
I was really confused by the way op phrased that, but she should dump his ass via Instagram
dalink 24
Shape-shifter!! Look for the glowing eyes in the pic.
WiseGirl98 5
Supernatural fan! *high fives* use pure silver to protect yourself, OP! You can kill them that way, a stab in the heart, though be 100% sure it is a shape shifter, because if you kill your real cheating bf, you will be in a bunch of trouble...
crudeandrudeguy 29
Finally a reference to supernatural, I can die happy.
MsConfusedd 27
Just leave him a text. That's the worst way to break up with someone but he deserves it
aklm15 14
So how'd he post the picture?
WhisperSoflty 20
Because cell signal and Internet access are not one in the same. How else do you think people can still play Words With Friends on an airplane without getting kicked off? Unless you're Alec Baldwin, that is.
hcollins1 18
Computers and laptops are still around. Not everyone can afford nor desire a smartphone.
pandalover69 26
Then why can't she just get on facebook or instagram and and break up with him there.
Likian5 26
Not gonna lie, this FML was very interestingly worded...in a funny way. But nonetheless, you don't necessarily have to call him right away. Just wait for him to get back to say "it's over."
jamjam12 15
When I first read it I thought the dad got a sex change and was having an incestuous affair with the son... It took me a good 5 minutes to figure out he was really just cheating
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
69 It really took you 5 minutes to realize that OP's boyfriend was cheating and the dad didn't get a sex change. Wow. And I thought I was slow. Sheesh. Smh
jamnglamgirlie 17
If you guys live together I can think of one way to dump him. If you don't then poop on his bed.
hcollins1 18
Unless OP's boyfriend asked her to go down on him while he's taking a shit, then no.
PapaMoti 21
Don't worry OP, you'll find someone better.
UnluckyGenius 21
Instagram his stuff in a trash can!
SMHsohard 22
And on fire.
Lillie_bird 16
While you and another guy roast marshmallows over it