Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
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Top comments
AbstraktThoughts 13
That's when you kick him in the balls and tell him that's how men lose the ability to have children.
brainymes 30
That's where you say, "your face is the reason plastic surgery was invented."
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Comments (75)
AbstraktThoughts 13
That's when you kick him in the balls and tell him that's how men lose the ability to have children.
firefighter925 18
Well he sounds like a keeper! when is date number two? -_- haha
Uramonkey 11
That's the reason balls were invented. :p
PulseShock 9
Why is everyone assuming the OP is a woman?
omgthisisgay 10
44, nobody is assuming. The sign for "female" is next to her name.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
What does it even matter, 44? Damn, are people just trying to make every little comment seem sexist? You're making it worse rather than helping your cause, dumbass.
uoeno_fml 20
That's too harsh, in the 50s that kind of rudeness wasn't tolerated
Virtual_BS 13
...and risk getting charged with assault?
wildnargles 15
She should tell him, I I don't mean to be rude, but your dick is the reason Viagra was invented.
gmian 34
What a rude pig. I'm sorry, OP. I hope that's the last of him you saw.
Ambient25 24
Hopefully OP left him with the tab
firefighter925 18
Well knowing women she's probably gonna fall in love with him
botanistjessica 24
Who in their right mind would take this as a love connection, 25?
fluffycatsdad 33
With an attitude like that, the only women you can possibly know are those you have to pay for. If I were female, I certainly wouldn't want to spend any time in your company without financial reward.
Allennis44 16
At least he was complimenting her body. Still rude as **** though.
Maxus1221 11
Where does it say that he complimented her?
MissMellyMay 7
How in the hell is being told "your face is the reason booze was created" a compliment? FFS, I wouldn't want to go on a date with you.
brainymes 30
That's where you say, "your face is the reason plastic surgery was invented."
ILoveMyArm 15
Or paper bags.
Damian95 16
Double brown bag special. Just in case theirs falls off, you still have yours.
Dracoboxer357 35
"Yeah....your balls? That's the reason steel toed boots were invented." *Insert foot to crotch at high velocity with a continuing rate of acceleration* ;p What a shallow, rude jerk. How hard is it to polite, and just enjoy an evening out with someone that you aren't immediately sexually attracted to? You already set the time aside to do that anyways, and its not like you're oblidged to have a second date if things don't turn out....just go with it! :p
MzZombicidal 36
What an asshole! Tell him his personality is the reason Ambien was invented.
chlorinegreen 27
What do you need ambien for? Listen to him for 2 seconds and you're out.
olpally 32
Bitch slap him back to Bangkok.
annie_nk 22
Then bang his ****. With your fist.
patrickalamo 47
And these boots where made for walking... I hope you did not stay to hear another word.
AngrySailor 17
"you have girlfriend? Korea?"
strokesie 23
"I don't mean to be rude, but.. *slap*"
gavagoul 10
Wow I'm really sorry, that's a big asshole.
Zimmington 21
*gapeing
icanthandlethis 4
*drop the 'e' add 'ing'
Zimmington 21
56- does it have the same meaning as what I'm tryin to say? I thought "gaping" would be from "gap" so for "gape" I kept the e
DKjazz 20
That would be "gapping". But gap is a noun. :
Zimmington 21
Ok, but what does "gap' being a noun have to do with anything?? 0_o
Dracoboxer357 35
77- Parallel example: Tape. Taping. I'm taping up a box. Tap. Tapping. I'm tapping your sister. :) See? :) No confusion there. ;)
Zimmington 21
84- Thanks, good thing I don't have a sister. I learned something new today!
hannahsnyder69 16
Then turn to him and say didn't they invent prostitutes for low life scumbag jerks like you?
fluffycatsdad 33
Any prostitute is too good for this jackhole.
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Tell him it's also helps guys with tiny penises.