Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. My dad took one look at him, sighed and said, "You deserve someone better. Someone who is responsible, and has their priorities straight in life." Beyond upset, I told my dad that I love him. My dad disgruntledly responded, "I was talking to him." FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
Is his love your drug?
crissybear 8
At least your dad doesn't have to pay for his drugs anymore... Hehe
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Comments (178)
Druu 53
Is his love your drug?
jujubeef 10
very punny h
vehementbitch 4
Your drug? Huh your drug?
gracehi 33
I like your beard. ;)
guineagirl96 38
@17 It's a reference to ke$ha
jipster 11
People shoudn't know lyrics of Ke$ha. I'm losing my faith in those dumbasses
depocadoll 15
Drugs, or pot? HUGE difference.
perdix 31
#59, Yah! They ought to be kicked to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger. It's worse than you think.
koolkool994 28
It's hard NOT to know them when they're played on the radio a lot, #59!
Iceman225 11
@101 Curb stomp?
zandalee 20
I love your profile pic!- 20
MysteriousX_fml 10
No, her love is his drug(dealer).
depocadoll 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol seriously? If you consider pot a drug you need to know your facts. Each and every one of you. Unless you've laced it with man-made pharma, it's natural. Sorry. Regardless of ones choice to hate marijuana or know its much less harmful than smoking cigarettes, it's still not a drug. :)
ImAFaker 29
131- It is a drug. So is nicotine which is in cigarettes. Painkillers are drugs. Don't correct someone on something you don't know.
suboy 10
A drug is a substance which may have medicinal, intoxicating, performance enhancing or other effects when taken or put into a human body or the body of another animal and is not considered a food or exclusively a food.
DKjazz 20
Semantics, people. Drug column A has stuff like prozac, claritin, viagra, etc., and drug column b has cocaine, heroin, meth, etc. Marijuana fits into one of these columns, either way. Whether A or B is up to the opinion holder.
ginawater19 13
Completely agree
romzfml 9
it is a drug. but it is not that harmful imo
crissybear 8
At least your dad doesn't have to pay for his drugs anymore... Hehe
jipster 11
I want to know which one of them told OP about this.
ahamme06 12
I would have loved to hear that conversation. "Dad this is my bf" "ya, we have met, you still owe me for a quarter"
Ambient25 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's even better if one considers this the setting for the Godfather. OP's dad goes to her boyfriend for forgiveness of missing a payment and he replies "I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your daughter's wedding...yet you would like me to forgive you for this, on the day of YOUR daughter's wedding"
Myo_fml 20
It sounds like a win win for me. The boyfriend would probably feel pressured to give drugs to the father for free now. That sucks though that now OP knows that daddy gets lit up if she didn't know before.
BumpkinsBigBash 8
so her father fan better fuel his addiction is a win for you?
MagicalOrphan 6
That is legendary lmao
golden_warrior 23
Dude, should of said it right. This is LEGEND, wait for it....
eksyneet 23
#21, should HAVE, omg, where do you get this "should of" from? it doesn't even make any sense.
acs123acs 22
@31 People get it from the contracted form of should have (that is should've) which sounds similar to "should of"
eksyneet 23
#39, yes, obviously. but when a person types "should of", why doesn't it occur to them that something's not quite right with it?
MrSarcasmic 10
......DARY!!!!!!
gemstone586 12
What's up with the grammar Nazis around here? Gees, the comment was epic, why ruin it over something like that. High five, #21.
Axipiter 24
I disagree 51. In my opinion, it wasn't that great of a comment. If it were, I'm sure most people would be able to look past the obvious grammatical **** up.
evilplatypus 39
47 - If they haven't learned otherwise, why would it look odd to them?
countryrose92 23
Yay 48! Way to finish it off
suboy 10
Yea u just spelled LEGENDDARY. LOL
Left4UrMum 6
@53 Geez**
sdroze1389 31
I know. I hate it when education succeeds.
TheGreatAlexande 12
Well on the bright side you can probably get a discount.
olpally 33
Just a discount? That shit should be free now! Lol.
perdix 31
#51, unless the boyfriend is growing the weed or cooking the meth himself, he's just a middle man and needs to pay the wholesale cost to the cartel. I'd imagine getting your dope wholesale is probably a pretty sweet deal. Dealers probably command steep margins and will get away with it until Wal*Mart gets in the game.
olpally 33
So, perdix, you're the kingpin in this FML then behind the scenes? Good work. I'll buy it from you directly then. ;)
ahamme06 12
Hmmm Walmart, I could just hear their new slogan now " save money, get higher! Walmart"
Pontiff 2
#64 A Lecture from Tony Soprano.
ansleyyelizabeth 12
You would know. #64
jonahhill 5
lol did you know your dad did drugs before this?
Allornone 35
Or that your boyfriend dealt drugs?
ahamme06 12
If her dad and boyfriend disappear together at family gatherings at least she now knows what they are doing :)
CrookedCook 14
Her dad is probably part if the drug trade as well.
MyNameIsViet 15
5, looks like they're going to have a family business running.
CrookedCook 14
that was a bad attempt at a joke on me part, i apologize to the OP, it wasn't an actual serious assumption. I just thought i would lighten the situation with a joke that related to my profile picture. :/
awebb21 7
Did your dad try and get the drugs half off after that
Jac_d_ipper 10
This more an FML about OP's parent doing drugs. Bf's would come dime a doz, not one's parents.
grahmagog 14
Just keeping the business in the family
liblob 6
not sure whats worse that your dads a druggy or that you could b dating one.
golden_warrior 23
Well, if its just weed and its only occasionally then it's not so bad.
jem970 19
Maybe he deals but doesn't take part. Silver lining :)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Dealers shouldn't be using the product they sell. Otherwise they wouldn't be in business very long.
Elle_ShellBelle 15
Number 4, I know you've heard this before, never get high on your own supply
LiterOfCola 16
A lot of people deal in small amounts just so they can smoke for free. Being a "drug dealer" doesn't mean they get shipments from a cartel necessarily. Casual dealers like I mentioned might simply buy a large amount from a friend or someone meaning a lower price proportionally and then sell it off in smaller, more proportionally expensive amounts.
Joe9024 20
@107, I love your name!
awkward_gothlady 32
This one sounds kind of familiar...I'm pretty sure there was another one like this a few months ago that was worded differently.
SiegeOfTheSiren 9
There shouldn't be an excuse for the dealer to be late to a deal, then. He knows where your dad lives now. :O