Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, my cousin got married. I was cold so I went to get my jacket from my car. While leaving I saw my cousin walking around the front of the venue. I told her she looked beautiful in her dress. She looked up and said, "Where is my beer, have you seen my beer?" and threw up on me. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML
Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, at my younger sister's wedding, my hospitalised grandmother called to ask if I have a boyfriend yet, both my parents wondered if I'll ever get married, and when the 13-year-old next to me caught the bouquet, his father yelled from the back to give it to me instead. FML
Today, I met my cousin for the first time in years. She's 19, but she's already engaged to a guy EIGHT YEARS OLDER than her, and they're planning to get married this spring. She said she's excited to have kids soon. She's throwing away her youth to be a fucking Handmaid. This poor girl. FML
Today, as I’m single, I got permission to bring a friend as my plus-one to my sister's wedding. He’s religious so I thought of all people he’d be one to behave. Nope. He got plastered on champagne, slapped the brides ass as she was walking down the aisle with our dad, then started a fight. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
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Top comments
tanekdrachonae 19
Maybe he knew -.-
Coop817 19
YDI for being so darn cute ;)
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Comments (132)
tanekdrachonae 19
Maybe he knew -.-
Damian95 16
At least Pedo bear would approve.
ICastillo 24
OP is probably the prettiest guy the groom has ever seen.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I don't know about you guys but if he's 16 he could definitely look like Justin bieber and that would be misleading.
corruptedlol 2
76 - What kind of logic is that?
AssTard 15
59- "Logic" wouldn't be the appropiate word here.
dmoran20 27
#76 Drugs are bad mmkay!
klutz44 28
76 is insinuating that Justin Bieber looks like a girl
sig4life 18
Ohh he definitely knew.
kimee21_fml 15
Hey, it's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.
TwiztedYuri 9
can't be a joke. wedding are way to serious for any form of happiness.
braddenfitch 7
Haha nice, I bet you could take it pretty hard ;)
Schizomaniac 24
This guy is tactful. You must be very popular with the ladies.
Enslaved 36
I agree. It had to be a joke. Why would he say that in front of his new wife if it wasn't to be humourous? I know guys that joke like that. Blowing kisses and such. It's to try to kid and make that other person feel awkward.
TheDrifter 23
I do that to people all the time. The look of "Oh please no, somebody save me" is priceless.
ICastillo 24
But #2 what if he wasn't joking?!? o_o. .......Well I guess he still wouldn't want to take it so hard.
etchsanity1 11
I don't think it was a joke after all this is china where it happened a young soft featured Asian boy could very easily look like an Asian girl ... Gender differences aren't as prominent in youth is Asian countries
hilda_kitty 16
Exactly 2. And even if it isn't, I've heard that if a gay or bi guy compliments another guy, that other guy is one hell of a sexy beast.
benmec 18
Lol. You said, "take it so hard." I thumbed you up buddy. Don't see why everyone else isn't.
thagar 2
"It's a joke, not a dick, don't take it so hard" badum-tss
infinitegrace 21
#69 Although I agree I would like to pour out something it seems no one else has. They are at a wedding, which to me indicates they are dressed up. If they're dressed up wouldn't OP be in a suit while a girl would be wearing a dress?
crazytwinsmom 25
F Rose's life! She's going to be wondering about him now.
hawright 13
My sentiments exactly. Now she will always wonder if its her younger male cousin he is thinking about when getting intimate. If anal just "works better for him" we've got issues.
onlychildFTW 33
She'll be wondering if her husband will be bending over to... Too OP. lots of Asian guys I've seen look like girls. I could see the mistake. (OP is from China).
cupcakechick 17
he said he did it when him and the cousin were talking, not when him and the bride were talking,
Clioo_fml 17
I'm just hoping the groom has a funny sense of humor. And if he does, Rose probably knew about it and decided to laugh about it. Weird yes...but maybe they think it's funny?
Cashtangoteam 10
Times are tough in China. If you can't get a girl, why not a boy?
Myo_fml 20
I think the groom is more than likely drunk. Weddings are stressful events.
SaturnV 25
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
rkmn8r 6
false. drunk words are drunk thoughts
Feared 9
False. I'm a potato.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Die, potato.
kevsandy303 12
Not today!
SqueakyChipmunk 21
D:
dmoran20 27
Ahhhh potato whiskey... Mmmmm
VannahJane 17
Hes probably just trying be funny
Shmatterhorn 38
And obviously not succeeding.
klutz44 28
Eh, I thought it was funny
Schizomaniac 24
This wedding is horse shit!
Codezlol 21
I didn't want salmon! I said it four times!
TheManager 6
I wasn't fired from my job, I was laid off. But you wouldn't know the difference!
hotPinklipstick 24
This thread is EPIC!!! :)
DropTheDaggerxx 31
THIS HOUSE IS A PRISON
Werken247 14
So the groom is a gay, pedophile douchenozzle... F the brides Life
Pleonasm 35
Maybe there's like, a tiny chance that he's not being serious?
TheDrifter 23
Not serious? Nah, that could never happen. Him and Rose are obviously duplicates, replaced by bisexual ephebophilic aliens, bent on world domination.
Pleonasm 35
See that's what I was thinking too, but I thought that proposing that to FMLers would be too "out-there."
cmbar831 14
Your always one of the first petiole to comment, is fml your life or something?
Kartor 6
This has been bugging me and is unrelated, but are you Shia LaBeouf?
Coop817 19
YDI for being so darn cute ;)
JustKittyKat 24
With an ass like that, who could blame him? ;)
Steve95401 49
Maybe the groom thinks OP's ass needs "breaking in". We just need an old lady using a walker to grab OP's ass and and we would have an FML trifecta.